Judge Me Not

The Night's Child by Silencethatfollows [Review- LovelornSighs]

Title: The Night's Child

Author: Silencethatfollows

Genre(s): Short Story/ Non-Fiction

Blurb: Daniel is alone. Daniel is scared. But most of all, Daniel is cursed. Can he fight the monsters that torment his days, and the creatures that haunt his nightmares?

"He runs faster. It has no use. He knows what happens next. The creature’s teeth sink into his flesh."

Review: 

I really liked the poem in the first chapter. It had a sense of... foreboding, I guess? I don't know what I'm trying to say, so let's move on to the real first chapter.

 Ok, my first comment is about the point of view. I don't really prefer third or first in this case, but people usually tend to use first. First POV makes you feel more connected to the character; But maybe that's the point of your choice.. Or you feel more comfortable in neutral. I really, really like the little dream segment in the chapter. It gives you a little peek at Daniel's character and what he's possibly going through. You don't quite know how serious this is, but you know that there is some trouble going on. 

Ok, ok, I got kind of caught up in everything that was going on, so I have made it to the end of Chapter 3. I think the flow is great, I would enjoy slighter longer chapters, but since they're nicely paced and tight, I don't think the chapter size is a big deal. I think I get why you chose Third POV now. At first, I was leaning more towards First.. however, I now see that Third really suits the tone of the story. 

I like your character Daniel. He's someone that you can find some sort of connection with, but not a lame, predictable character. He has his secrets. Jamie is slightly harder to like.. He doesn't really seem to understand or see that Daniel is not as okay as he makes himself act. But the ending surprised me in Chapter Three.. I was taken aback when he starts screaming and takes the knife and cuts himself. This situation is a lot more serious than I had guessed previously.

Well, I can honestly say that you have a great story going on! I'll keep reading, and comment unofficially occasionally. (:

Oh yes, before I forget.. Sometimes, I notice that your past/ present tenses are mixed up or wrong. You might want to check that out.

Rating: 9.5/10

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~Lilly/ LovelornSighs

P.S- I'm very sorry for my tardiness. I had half of this review done before my 'break'. Again, I'm very sorry. :|