Judge Me Not

...The Tale of Two Cities by Vintagebellagirl(Reviewed by JanBear_04)

Title- Talk of the Town: The Tale of Two Cities

Author- Vintagebellagirl

Genre- Romance & Watty Awards 2011

Rating- PG-13

Synopsis- In a city that never sleeps lies the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Rumours, secrets, and betrayals line the pavements of Park Avenue and Times Square and alone across the bridge lies the lives of Brooklyn folk. The tale of two cities comes colliding together in a series of raptures of rumours, secrets, and forbidden love for four teenagers.

Review- First of all I would like to completely apologize for the time it took for me to complete this review. Thank you very much for your patience. And now onto the review-

To begin I would like to start by telling you that you have a very unique and original story, filled with plenty of potential. Your synopsis definitely caught my attention and I was curious as to how this tale would, I guess go about. It was quite interesting reading the first chapter, I honestly didn't expect to be reading about a young woman attending an interview in order to receive a scholarship to a school full of the wealthy. A regular girl trying to reach her dreams even though one would say that they aren't a realistic choice. In one way or another this story is relate able but also kind of inspirational and I think as you read on you'll see that two very different people can get along. It's really just a guess but I think that's kind of where this is going but much more will be happening in the middle of it all. As you've mentioned, plenty of betrayal, drama and secrets.

There were some negative aspects to this chapter as well. You definitely have to work more on your details because there was hardly any. I would like to know how that blond girl looked, how Tess looked, how that school looked. I want to be able to imagine the setting, yano? Also, you may need to proofread this chapter again. I didn't find any spelling errors but there were a couple errors surrounding punctuation and grammar. In the dialogue, after the speaker spoke you didn't put a comma after continuing which is a issue. You also included plenty of exclamation marks after  certain dialogues and I don't think they work all that well. There's nothing wrong with periods. Oh and the spaces between the paragraphs. I think unnecessary and some times at certain parts of the chapter, it doesn't flow all that well. The sentences can be a bit choppy or long.

Other wise I think it's a nice read but for the first chapter it's not all that gripping. It doesn't pull me in and have me at the edge of my seat. Before I forget, I liked your Gossip Girl inspiration but I think you should make sure that your readers know that there is a second narrator, either bold it/put in italics or in some other way. That part makes it quite unique and I think it should be distinguished much more.

I think you've done a great job! And now that's it complete all I can really say is that I hope you get a chance to fix it up much more and get the reads/comments and votes you deserve!

Rating- 7/10

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By- JanBear_04/ Janaka =)

*If you would like to read this story, it will be in our library or my own on my Wattpad page (Reviewed Stories)! Please feel free to take a look!*