"You're a star now, welcome to the big league. They all wanna pic. They all wanna see what you're made of, what you're gonna do. Is life gonna get the best of you?"
(Written 12/5/15 - 2/20/17)
(Under editing from 2/21/17 - 6/27/17)
Main Instagram: c...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
nothing seems to be the way that it used to
(T's hat)
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It has been a year since I've been released from the hospital. I was 21 and I'd released the album I'd been working on called In The Zone.
When I was released from the hospital, I also found out my roommate who was discharged before me, went out and told everyone my secrets, at least what she knew. It wasn't much. Just she would talk to herself as if someone else was there, arguing with no one. And I think somebody killed her boyfriend. Also there were so many scars and burn marks on her arms. She'd even stolen one of my T shirts and sold it for thousands of dollars.
I wanted to cry and lock myself in my room, but Michael and Amanda told me to keep my head up. It was easier knowing I wasn't alone in this anymore. My hair had grown a bit, not as long as it was before though. It came past my shoulders and was dyed blonde again.
I'd taken up yoga again with Amanda and this time I enjoyed it and actually tried for myself instead of trying to make her happy.
"Hold it, I know you can." Amanda encourages. I strain my breath and keep my muscles tight but I was shaking quite violently. Currently, we were in the living room on a blue yoga mat and I was holding a pose on my head and forearms, my torso up and one leg backwards completely and the other bent at the knee. Amanda had her hands on either side of my bare stomach to assist me.
"Ten more seconds, you can do it." She encourages. I'm almost wheezing by the time it's been ten seconds.
"Rest," she says, and I ungracefully fall onto my back while breathing in gallons of air.
"Nice job," Michael says. He's standing in the large archway that leads to the kitchen holding an apple.
"Thanks," I say breathlessly. My muscles are tired and my energy is gone.
