"You're a star now, welcome to the big league. They all wanna pic. They all wanna see what you're made of, what you're gonna do. Is life gonna get the best of you?"
(Written 12/5/15 - 2/20/17)
(Under editing from 2/21/17 - 6/27/17)
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and they found you on the bathroom floor
(Major trigger warning)
Everyone at the Richards Majestic stared at me as I walked through bare headed. Even though they knew I had shaved my head through the news and Internet, they were still surprised.
The makeup department fitted me with a wig matching my exact hair length and color from before, so now I stood in a blonde wig that went past my shoulders, looking in the mirror while I was supposed to be changing into my clothes to go home.
I watched myself with a look of sadness and despair. I was truly alone. Nobody cared about how I felt, just how I looked. It was strange to see myself look normal again, wearing makeup and with my regular hair color. Strange. The TV was on behind me and I looked at it in the mirror when I heard my name.
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"She's promiscuous, she's shameless, she's Alana De Santa. She showed up wearing well, hardly anything. When asked to comment on her half naked-" I switched the off. Fuck her. Fuck everyone.
I switched the TV off and quickly changed, leaving the trailer. Outside, I saw a couple people standing around wearing alien costumes and smoking cigarettes illuminated by the street lamps in the dark. They watched me as I passed by.
If they can get costumes, so can I right? Or at least accessories. I stepped into the costume trailer and closed the door behind me to make sure nobody came in while I was here.
My eyes landed on a bright pink wig. I grabbed the wig and placed it on my head and grabbed my large rimmed sunglasses. I'm fucking taking this. I also grabbed the blonde one they forced me to wear and I walked out of the costume studio and to my car. Michael had let me drive myself today. As soon as I stepped out of the doors, I was blinded by flashes.
"Seriously?" I whispered, almost inaudible. Not sure why I said it. I felt like my brain was zoning out as I stared into the camera in front of me. I could barely hear them calling my name or yelling out questions as I got into my car.
