My friends, peers, and I have amazing plans for the future.
Me: I am going to work as a maid for about five incredibly rich employers in Los Angeles. I will embezzle their money and secretly sell their belongings until I have enough to construct a palace and buy several private jets. I will have servant's quarters for Friend 1. Over the years, I will slowly turn the three west coast states into a monarchy. Cacti will have the right to vote and hold office.
Friend 1: She believes she will become a homeless bag lady, so instead I have offered her the alternative of living in my servants' quarters and walking my twenty dogs for 50 cents a walk, 25 cents a dog.
Friend 2: He will embezzle money from his employers until he has enough to buy a penthouse in Washington. We will be partners in crime, so if the police catch onto me, I can go stay at his penthouse, and vice versa.
Friend 3: Will have a (legally obtained) ranch which Friend 2, Friend 4, or me can utilize if we are caught. Will possibly work for Dude 1.
Friend 4: Will live alone with her cactus, which she has joint custody of with Friend 3. She will be an advocate for cacti rights and will probably be accused of murder several times throughout her life - sometimes she will legitimately guilty. I will use my embezzled money to pay her way to freedom.
Dude 1: Will be homeless and run a meme factory.
YOU ARE READING
Weird Things I Heard in School | ✓
AcakThis is just a really weird book about really weird stuff. This is the stupid yet (sometimes) funny crap I actually hear in school. The second book is now published, as is "Weird Things I Heard in Life!" I'm always looking for your own contributions...
