Torn Between Two

Chapter 10

Troye 

I pull away from Connor kinda out of breath. "You have such a good effect on me." Connor say looking at me in the eyes. "Can I stay here tonight?" Connor asks quickly catching me off guard.. "Umm sure my parents won't mind." I say. Tyler comes over whenever he wants. My mom treats him like his own. "I'll message my parents." Connor says he sits up. He sends his mom a text "My mom says she doesn't care." I say getting a text from my mom Connor nods. Connor's phone starts to ring and he steps outside. "You can stay but I can't be seen with you I'm sorry." I say. Tyler he would kill me if Connor got on the bus with me. Tyler would definitely beat Connor and yells at me a lot. "That's okay Troye. Tyler if he sees me." Connor says and he comes to sit on the bed and covers his face with his soft hands. He starts to breathe heavy. I need to change the subject. "Are you hungry?" I ask Connor he looks at me then thinks for a minute before answering. "Um not really I'll eat something small though." Connor says and I nods I grab his hand and bring him down the stairs. I feel a little light headed. I feel Connor lose his balance and I turn around fast I grab his waist and hold him up. "Hey I got you." I says quietly. Connor buries his face into my shirt. "Sorry I get dizzy sometimes." Connor says small. He is very light. Im super surprised. "I'm sorry for calling you fat." I whisper in his ear. "Troye stop apologizing." Connor says. I break the hug. Connor lowers his head. I lean my head down and kiss Connor's forehead not rough like but soft and gentle like i'm touching a baby. "I need to. Some kraft dinner?" I ask something small. He doesn't need to eat much. Connor nods. He walks into the dining room and sits down. He slowly rubs his arms? Why maybe to relieve stress. I sit next to him. Connor looks the other direction. I put my hand on his and run my fingers lightly up and down not too hard but gentle to make sure he knows i'm not going anywhere don't look his way he runs his hands up and down my hand. Connor moves his head and lays it on my shoulder. "I could get used to this." I say being completely this is the best day I have had in a long time. Tyler, Zoe they don't make me this happy and it's sad. The microwave goes off I stand up run to the kitchen. I grab a spoon for myself and one for Connor. I walk out and sit down. "I guess we can share." I say he nods. Connor slowly looks at the food, he slowly picks up the spoon and takes a bite. "What's your favorite food?" I ask curious. I "Umm I don't really have a favorite." Connor says and I look down he is hiding something. I just wish I knew what he was hiding. He seems like a normal boy but, from what I have noticed he isn't. He is so delicate that even a certain word can make him not wanting to talk? Connor tell me what's going on in your mind. I want to help. "Nutella for me." I say Connor nods slowly. Is he scared to even talk about this? No it's just food. It's good. He eats. "It's good." Connor says and then look down and speaks."I'm tired." He say. "Want to go up and wait for my parents to come home they should be here soon." I say and he stands up and takes my hand throwing the dishes away into the sink. We slowly make our way to the room. I feel safe in his warm, yet cold hands. Something about this touch makes my stomach want more and more of whatever energy he gives off."I'm sorry if I'm touchy." I says locking the door and sit down. "It's okay I like it." Connor says very soft "Oh okay." I say then I think. Would he go for dating me. No he wouldn't who would want that you are ugly, fat, useless and if you end it you will be happier. Leave me alone! I will deal with you later. Connor puts his head on my shoulder and speaks. "What if they don't like me?" Connor asks worry in his voice. Calm him down. You have done it to yourself for years Troye calm him down. "They will don't worry." I say and tilt Connor's head up to face me. I touch his little scar on his face. "I like you Connor." I say and take it back. He won't like me back. He will hate me. He won't ever like you! wait he likes me. "I like you too Troye." Connor says and he looks scared when he said this. I'm scared to. I don't know if he likes me fully. He is just saying that to make you hurt. Troye. I lay down and Connor crawls up to me. Connor's head lands on my chest. I put my hand on his waist. "Sorry I like the attention." Connor says and he puts his face into my chest even more. "It's okay." I says I kiss his hair as we cuddle. We hear a knock at the door. "Troye! Mom and Dad are home and want to meet whoever that is. Connor." Sage says. I sigh I feel Connor breath heavy and I stand up "They will love you." I reassure him as much as I can. "I'm scared." Connor say scared shitless. I touch his face. I lean in for a quick peck on the lips. "They will love you." I say taking his hand walking me down the stairs slowly into the living room. "Hello Troye how is everything?" My mom asks me. "Good. Mom, Dad this is Connor." I say and look at Connor. Connor looks at them and nods. "Hi Mrs. Mellet and Mr. Mellet." Connor says nervous in his voice. "So this is your boyfriend!" My dad asks and comes closer to Connor. He looks Connor up and down. Don't say anything bad. Please don't he will and I know it. "Dad he isn't my boyfriend he is a friend." I say scared. "He seems like your boyfriend. He is very skinny like. Gain some more weight boy." My dad says and hits Connor's stomach. He jumps back a little. Why does he do this! "Dad!" I yell after him. I run into the kitchen and think what am I going to say. "Just because I'm gay and shit doesn't mean you can just do that." I say angry as hell. "Don't remind me." My dad says I hate him! I really hate him! I can love who I want! I can do what I want! I can fuck who I want! It shouldn't matter! I stop what. "Stop it not now!" I yell and walk away from the kitchen. "Whatever we will be up in the room working." I say and I walks up the stairs and Connor follows."Troye what was that about?" Connor asks nervously. I can't tell him my dad beats me when he is drunk. He hurts me until I can't walk in the morning. t "Ummmm it's a long story. Let's just say my dad hates that I'm gay?" I ask in and question. Connor nods not to pushing it farther than that. "Do your parents hate you for being gay?" I ask Connor. He stops and looks confused. "Umm I haven't told them Troye." Connor says and he looks down. "I guess you're the first person I told about me being gay. My sister doesn't know. No one does. Please don't tell Tyler or anyone I'll get beat up so much." Connor says fast panicking. "Hey I wouldn't do that. Never ever would do that. I know what it's like to be scared of coming out. It's hard and I won't do that." I say to Connor. I touch his face. I then sit on the bed."I just don't get my dad. He loves me? But doesn't. He does but if he did then why would he hate me for who I love and who I don't love." I say and Connor comes to sit beside me." Well Troye just don't let him get to you. That's the worst part." Connor says and I shakes his head. "I wish I could tell you. But it's it's a long story. I can't just ignore him." I say wishing I could tell him. I sigh and close my eyes. "Troye?" Connor asks and I put his hand lightly on my knee. "Yeah?" I ask waiting for Connor to talk. He closes my eyes. "What does this make us?" Connor asks scared. I want to yell together! BE with me! I can't live another day without you! "Friends?" I ask scared how he will react. "Okay." Connor says and I lift his head to look at him. "I wish I didn't have Tyler and Zoe and everyone I know." I say and Connor touches my cheek. "I would hang with you, you know that?" I say. I close our faces in and set my forehead on his. "It would make life better and way happier." I continue to say and kiss his nose. "You make me forget things." I ramble on and I take his hand and we fall to the bed. His head below mine. I reach for his waist. "Connor I have never felt this way before with someone like this. I don't know what it is. Maybe the way we have always hated each other and now we don't or maybe how we met. We met when I bullied you. I'm sorry again for that." I say I hate being mean and don't want it to be anymore. Connor shakes his head. "Stop please." Connor says. "Oh shit." Connor grumbles and he shoots up and runs out of the bedroom "Connor!" I yell racing after him. "Connor." I say and I sit behind him so he can lean on me for some support.

"What happened you were fine about 5 minutes ago." I say and sigh. Connor breathes in and out. "Maybe just a little bug. It will pass." Connor mumbles and close his eyes. "Awe I'm sorry." I say and rubs his stomach lightly. Connor slowly touches my hands and he moves them away from his stomach to his leg. "Connor you okay?" I ask when he touch his hands away from his stomach. "Yeah just it hurts to touch." Connor says. Oh yeah he just threw up. say lying hoping he buys it. He moves his hands to my legs. "Ugh." Connor says and lean back against me. I plays with his hair. I kiss his cheek while I silently start to cry. "Oh no don't cry." I say wiping his tears off his soft beautiful face. "I hate throwing up." Connor moans. "Troye!" Sage yells walking in. "Out Sage!" I growl glaring at her. "What are you doing why are you touching your enemy?" Sage says to me. I look at her and narrow my eyes at her. Connor moves away from me. " Why can't you just leave me be! I'm busy. He isn't feeling well and yes I'm being nice because I care about how he is feeling. I hate throwing up too." I say looking at him. "What do you even want!" I yell standing up. "Well Tyler wants to know what you are doing I suggest you call him because he will be mad if he finds out about this." Sage says and waltzes away. Connor look at me. I see the worry in Connor's eyes. He is worried that Tyler will find out. Sage will tell him. She won't if I have anything to do with it. I run to my room to grab the phone. And run back in and sit on the floor. "Hello." "Troye what the hell what are you doing tonight." Tyler yells. "With family. I don't know." "Did you touch him! Is he still there! Remember don't touch him and it's only for school work." Tyler says through the phone. "I know don't touch him ever. Yes its for school work and then don't even talk to him. Yes I know okay bye!" I yell and hang up the phone. I slide against the bathroom door and close it behind me. I put my hands over my face. Why can't I not be bothered by him! He is like a stalker! Why does he even care. If my reputation gets ruined then so what! I hear Connor come over to me. He slowly sits beside me. "Life sucks." Connor says and I look over at Connor. "It sure does." I say Connor rests his head on my shoulder. I just stuck up for Connor Franta. Why? I think it's more than liking someone.