Torn Between Two

Chapter 14

Troye 

I slowly stand up hoping to god I can make it through this day. Seeing Connor with his cute little smile will make my day every time. I feel the pain in my stomach. Hurting badly as I take a step. I hear someone downstairs. My dad is nowhere to be seen. Sleeping? Probably. I walk into the bathroom and see the bruise under my eye starting to form. I lift my shirt up to see the red mark and then touch it lightly and the pain shoots through my stomach. To my head and I get dizzy. I reach for my blades. Close the door and then look at my wrist. Let this heal first and then you can. Kill yourself. I'm better off dead. "Troye breakfast!" My sister screams. I sigh and hide my blades in the wall. I open the door and walk into the kitchen. I keep my head down and avoid everyone. I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Troye." My sister says. I keep my head down and turn around to face her. "Umm yeah?" I ask scratching the back of my head. She touches my hand. "Look at me." She says and I shake my hand trying to escape. She will make another big deal about this. "Troye." She says more stern. "What." I say keeping my head down still. She grabs my chin and brings my face up and I close my eyes. "He did it again!" Sage says taking my hand and bringing me into the hallway. "Yeah it's not a big deal." I say trying to play cool. "Where else did he get you?" Sage asks. Taking my hand tight so I can't pull away. "In the stomach." I say and hold my stomach. She won't see that. My scars are there fresh ones. "It's just a bruise." I say and she shakes her head. "Troye you can't let him treat you like that. You have to fight for yourself. You won't let me help you. You are trying to protect us. You need to fight back." Sage says. "It's not that simple okay. He will hurt me more." I say low so no one hears me. "Well we need to get some help. Dad should not be beating you. He has been doing it since you came out." Sage says and I cover her mouth. "Don't speak of it. I'm not proud of that." I say and she removes her hand. "Just because dad doesn't like you for it. I do. I'm proud of you, okay listen to me. I don't want you to go back there. The hospital." Sage says. I push her back a little so she doesn't speak anymore. "Shut up please. Stop talking about that incident." I say harshly. "Okay fine but, you need help." Sage hisses at me. "You know what. I have had enough help! I don't need anymore thank you. They will just put me back there. I'm not going there again in the summer. I hate it there. Always will hate it." I say and grab my hair. "Troye they might not you never know." Sage says. I sigh and then look at her. I need her to stop. 

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" I ask her and she looks taken back. She has that little part of her that reminds me of Connor. The little actions she does is Connor. "What are you talking about I have always cared for you. You know that." Sage says. I laugh a little thinking back when Connor first came over. "Yeah okay." I say and then I quote her. "He's depressed. Been diagnosed and everything. Poor kid, can't even take care of himself. Yeah, it's ridiculous, right? He's taken this way too far. Sound familiar." I say and back up. "You always care my ass okay. Just let this be. I am fine!" I say and walk away. Not even caring about her stupid response. I am so tired of being babied! Just because that happened doesn't mean I have to be watched 24/7! I am my own person. I sit at the table with my head down. I eat only a little listening to my family make little conversation. Sage trying to get me to talk. I just don't bother talking anymore. What is the point. I'll just get babied again and again. I'm so tired of this life. If I was offered a pill to make me forget everything I wouldn't think twice about it. Forget about what happened and let me live life over again. I wouldn't be gay, I would like girls. My dad would'nt beat me. I would be happy with friends. But there is a price I would have to pay. Never meeting someone who I needed to meet and that is my Connor Franta. He has been the nicest to me. Not pushing me into talking into shit. Why can't my family be like that. The perfect one that makes me happy. The one that doesn't hit me, make me go places I don't want to go. My life is shit! I want a new one! I stand up and I grab a snack for school and I slowly make my way to the bus. I feel the pain in my stomach making me dizzy. I know Connor will be on. I just want to see his face. To make sure i'm okay. y brain would be able to think more if I see him and hear his cute little voice. I hear the bus coming down the road. I slowly walk up the stairs and then stop for a second to look for Tyler. I then see Connor looking at my eye. Shit!

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Sorry this is short and thanks to @InspiringTroyee for keeping me alive while making this book lol. Without her I wouldn't be able to write all the time. I'm known for procrastination so she keeps me on track lol.