Torn Between Two

Chapter 56

Connor

“Connor you were beat up by my dad. I know it's hard to think of right now but, yeah my dad hurt you so bad.” Troye says to me. I look down. I just lay numb. “Do they know?” I ask him knowing he will know what I am talking about. “They do I had to tell them I am sorry. I really am sorry.” Troye says. I just shake my head. “They know about?” Laurelle asks. “Nothing.” Troye says and then sits closer to me. “I want cuddles.” I say and Troye looks at me. “I don’t think that is a very good idea Connor.” Laurelle says to me. “Mom not now please.” Troye says and then Sage comes in with coffee. “Hi Connor.” Sage says. I nod and then Troye helps me move over so he can get in. I move over slowly and then he gets in and then cuddles to me.  I put my head on his chest. I smile and then wait for a while until someone comes in and I know its someone to make me talk. “Hi Skylar.” Troye says. I sigh and then sit up a little. “Hi Connor I am Skylar your boyfriend and I have talked and I know your current situation with life. You self harm and you starved yourself?” Skylar asks I nod and put my face into Troye’s shirt a little. I he rubs small circles onto my hand. “Have you ever talked to someone other than Troye. I mean he is a very good guy and everything but, maybe a professional help. They will talk to you and they will help you out.” Skylar says and I then look down. “I hate talking.” I say. “That’s the thing Troye can come with you. Like a couple. They will totally be fine with that. Whatever makes you happier in their.” Skylar says I sigh and then nod. “Her name is Agnes. She will be a very good person to help you. She knows a lot of things. You will be in good hands. How are you feeling right now?” I get asked. “Umm okay I guess.” I say and she nods. “Alright Connor we will be back eventually to check up on you. Feel better goodbye Troye.” Skylar says. Troye nods and she leaves. Then someone comes in and I sigh. “A scale of 1 to 10 how are you feeling?” The nurse asks. “Umm I am a good 7.” I say and then feel a little pain in my back. “Okay so we are going to give you this medication. Troye it will make him happy and loopy and out of things okay? It should take about 5 minutes to kick in ready one two and.” The nurse says and then puts the needle in my arm. I close my eyes tight. Then it’s over. I hold Troye close. “He will speak his mind so.” The nurse says and then leaves. “No what if I say something bad.” I say and then feel a little weird. “I will stop you okay?” Troye asks me. I close my eyes and then I smile.  I feel this weird feeling go all over and feel no pain what so ever. I smile a couple more times. “Troye did I tell you. You are super sexy.” I giggle and then hiccup. “Yes you have.” Troye says and then laugh . “I want you.” I say and put my leg over him and then start to kiss his neck. I don’t have any sensor it feels like. “Careful you might hurt yourself.” Troye says and I laugh for a good amount of time.

"Connor time to sleep." Troye says to me. I can't feel what I am saying. "No I want you. I want you. I want you. Youuuu." I sing out and lick his face. "Connor." Troye says wiping his face. "That's not the only thing I liccccckkkk." I giggle out. "Franta." Troye says. "Mellet, baby, babe. What?" I ask him. He laughs a lot too. "You are really dirty minded when you are up on pain meds." Troye says. I smile and laugh a lot. "Yeah I sure am." I say and then put my head to the side. "I want to dance." I say and then through the blanket off me. "Connor, no, no you will not be getting up." Troye says to me. "ahhhh whyyyyyy????" Connor giggles while laughing. "Just sit down." Troye says and then pulls be back gently into his lap. My head on his lap and my arms up in the air. "I LOVE TROYE SIVAN MELLET HE IS SO HOT!" I yell and then put my face into the blanket. Someone comes in and I look up. "Oh hi! I know you!" I yell at the person who came in. "Hey Connor how you feeling?" My mom asks me. "I'm fucking great, I feel great, happy, I want to dance but, this shit here won't let me." I say and Troye puts his hand on my back lightly. "Umm is he okay?" My mom asks. "He is on pain meds. He is fine." Troye says. "Yeah I sure am. I love this shit. Can I have more?" I ask and Troye just sighs. "Where is your dad Troye?" My mom asks. "He I think might be in jail. I am not sure. Nowhere near anyone anymore. No one he can hurt." Troye says. I close my eyes and slowly feel sleep come upon me. I then take a deep breathe and I know I fell asleep. "Sleep well handsome." Troye says and I feel the drugs take me into sleep.

"So how is he feeling? How long has he been asleep Troye?" Someone's voice comes through my ear. A girl maybe Sage. I then feel something hurt my back. My body starts to pain. "Ahh." I groan into Troye's chest. The pain hurting more and more. "Troye." I breath out. Troye is right there. "I am in so much pain. I can't." I say and then Troye presses a button. "Try and focus on my voice." Troye says. I feel the pain hit me like a truck. "AHHHHH STOP THE PAIN!" I yell and then dig my nails into my arms. To make me be distracted. Troye holds my hand tight. "Please." I beg out. "He is in so much pain!" Troye says. Someone comes over and then puts something on my skin and then I feel something sharp go in. Troye with his hand in my hair. "I can't help me. My back hurts. My stomach. It feels like it's dying." I yell. "It will work any minute!" The nurse says and sits beside me. Troye holding my hands away from my arm. "Please make it." I say and then it slowly fades. I breathe out heavy and then in short. "The pain fading?" The nurse asks. "Yeah." I mumble out. My face into Troye's lap. The blanket around me. Troye puts his hand on my back lightly. "I'm here." Troye says. I hold anything tight near me. Troye's hand slips his way into mine. "Why did that happen?" Troye asks. "His nerves are still getting used to the pain of the damage in his muscles. It will be hard to walk for a while. So we will have anything ready for him when he gets better.” The nurse says. I then put my face into Troye’s shirt. I close my eyes and then someone else touches me. “Connor I am sorry.” Nicola that is who is here. I shoot around. “Don’t come near me I hate you. Leave why would you care. Whatever I say you will tell your boyfriend Marcus and then he will tell Tyler so leave me the fuck alone!” I yell and then swat at her. I feel the pain hurt a little in my side. I lean against Troye. He is holding me so I can’t move again. “Connor please listen to me.” Nicola starts to say. “I don’t want to hear it okay. Leave me while I heal and never come near me!” I yell and she looks at the floor and then she slowly walks out of the room. “I just wanted to say I am sorry. That you are like this, self harm. Anything.” Nicola says and then leaves. I feel the tears leaving my face. “I hate her! How she knows this shit!” I yell and cover my face. “Shhh let her be. She will get over everything. Just focus on getting better okay?” Troye asks me. “Okay.” I respond and with that. I will focus on what I have to do. To make the people around me better. Is to try and get better. Not just physically but, mentally too. I know it will be a long process but I am ready for it. Right?

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I have been updating slowly and I'm sorry I am trying hard