Torn Between Two

Chapter 36

Connor

SKIP A GOOD 3 MONTHS.

As I wake up to ding on my phone. Today is Saturday. Today is the day, Troye and I first dated and now it's been 3 months. Wow 3 months with someone is crazy. I am scared something will happen. Sure we will have fights, and disagreements but, I now know this is part of it. The relationship part is the hardest. Loving is hard, but when you have someone you know you can trust it seems like life will and is getting easier. Sometimes life hits me down, but I get back up. Sure Nicola has and been dating Marcus for 1 month now. I couldn't stop her. Thank god he hasn't come over to this house yet. She would always go over there. Nothing has changed with my dad. My brothers happier than ever Brandon has got a girlfriend for a couple weeks now. Things have changed but, not in the best way. Sure I get called names at school and have to wake up and leave this safe house to go to hell. But I know I will be safe when I have Troye in my arms. That's all I could ask for. I check the time realizing that it's 9 am. I stayed up late messaging Troye. What can I say. I'm head over heals for that guy. I turn my phone on looking at my lock screen. Troye kissing my cheek as my eyes scrunched up. I smile at the photo. I can't believe this was taken about a couple weeks ago. Time flies honestly. I swipe my screen and smile bigger at my home screen. Us in my yard. The phone on the ground. Us with our hands holding and us looking into each other's eyes. Yes it's very Tumblr but I sure as hell like it. I go into my messages and click on My blue eyes boy <3 smiling waiting for the message I know it will be cute, every morning he sends me these cute little messages to make my day better each day. He knows me so well. I wait for my phone to load. I see the long paragraph.

To Connor: My baby I am so happy today is 3 months, and wow time flies when you are in love. I am love struck. Baby I love you so much. I can't even believe how far you have come. Sure you still cut, and that is okay. I do too. It's hard to stop but in the long run we will get over it. I know we will. You know why cause we will be together. I love you so much Connie. You have been my rock. My number one fan, my superhero and I can't thank you enough. Connor I want to do something special. Okay? Tonight at my house at 4 pm I want you to be here. No one will be here. I have everything planned. I know you are still starving but, eating a little will help you baby. Anyways remember 4 pm at my house. I will be waiting. If you want you can wear something fancy go fo it. I love you Connor Joel Franta and I will see you tonight at 4 pm. <3 :*

He is the cutest person I have ever met. I smile seeing the message reading it over and over again. I sit up and stretch. Connor you have fallen too hard. Leave me alone. I will fall more I hate you. Shut up. Look at your arms. I pull my sweater up and look at the angry marks on my arm. I just imagine Troye here kissing me while I feel the cuts on my arm as he makes me feel loved. So what? I know they are here. They are a mark of weakness. I'm done with you. I am going to have a shower and relax and enjoy this day. I walk out of the room with some clothes in my hand. I have something nice. I put my hands on my face as I look in the mirror. 3 damn months. 3. That is something else. I open my phone and decide to play some music. I scroll through music and pick a song then shuffle. I take my clothes off and stand in the shower as I think. What will be on tonight. What will he do? I wanted to do something. He always has to beat me to it. I hear my phone ring. I groan and wipe my hands and my side of my face. "Hello?" I ask wondering if it's my mom. "Good Morning handsome. How are you today?" Troye asks. I smile so big. "Babe I am in the shower." I say and I hear him laugh. "Ow fuck." I hear him mumble under his breath." You alright?" I ask him. I hear him laugh a little. "Yeah just dropped something." Troye says. "Anyways wishing I was in that shower with you. But just checking up on you handsome. I love you too death and can't wait to see you. It's been a solid 12 hours." Troye says. I laugh at him. "Alright babe i'll see you at 4 I love you so so much." I say. "I love you more." Troye says and before I can say anything else. I hear the dial tone and set the phone down. He wants to be with me in the shower is all I can think. Am I ready for that. Like sex? Or is it still too early. I mean 3 months. I'm ready. If he is. I'll let him make the move though. I don't want to scare him. I finally finish up my shower and change. I let my hair dry and see my mom making some breakfast. I smile as I walk into the kitchen. "Someone is really happy what's so important?" She asks a little happier. Ever since Dad has not been around she has been happier with herself and everyone in the family. "Mom Troye and I have been together for 3 months now and is it bad to say I am scared? Or is this totally normal for me to say?" I ask my mom. Lately I have been asking advice from her for a while. "It's normal honey. I am so proud of you. How are you feeling?" She asks. "I am good now. Thanks." I say and sit beside her while she cooks. "Being the protective mother. Has he touched you in a way you don't want him too?" My mom asks. I throw my head back and laugh. "No mom." I say still laughing. "Just making sure, I am your mother after all I have to worry for my baby boy." My mom says. I laugh hard again . "Mom i'm not a little boy anymore. I am almost 18 you need to realize I can do this on my own. Know when Troye hurts me and shit." I mumble out she smiles and kisses the top of my head ."Yeah I know I was just playing." She says. I sigh and watch her make some food. I get another text from Troye. I take it out and read it.