Torn Between Two

Chapter 68

Connor's POV

Troye's mom...... has cancer. He falls the the floor crying. I crouch down and then put my face in his hair. I hold him close. Trying not to cry myself. His mom has cancer. I hear everyone crying as well. Troye breathing fast and short. His weight gets to his legs and he falls to his the floor hard. I then bring him to me. I lift my head to look at everyone. This family was happy. This family was getting happy. Now, when they need support the most they have who? Their mom. The one that birthed then all. Slowly dying? Stage 2 what does that mean? Is it mean that when they get a little older they won't have their mom? Or does it mean a massive fight for everyone? I then start to tear up and I hug Troye in a full on hug. My stomach against his side. My head on his back. I rub his back.  My tears falling down my face.

"Guys I am sorry for the news. Stage 2 means that this is going to be a big big fight. Her breast will be removed. Do you have a father or any other guardian to take care of any of you?" The nurse asks. I then lift my head up. I look around at everyone cry and breathing short. "No they don't have a dad. I have my mom I can always get to check on them. Troye can always live with me. I am just..... how long has she had it?" I ask with tears still falling down my face. "Umm from our knowledge a couple months. I am glad her body finally showed the effects. If we didn't catch it a couple weeks and she would have stage 4." The nurse says.  I nod and Troye whimpers and bites my sweater tight. Screaming into it. "She may be awake in a hour or so. I am sorry is there anything we can do for you all?" The nurse asks and I look around. "No I got it from here." I say and she nods. Troye clings to me as much as he can. I lift him up and lay him on the bed. I take my sweater off to give to him to hold. "Co....bbabbaeee.... stay...." He says babe. He said babe. He is probably too tramatized to even know what he is saying. "Give me a minute okay Tro?" I ask and he nods  he cries into my sweater and I go over to Sage, Tyde, and Steele. They all look at me and run over to me. "Fuck I am so sorry." I say and they all hug me tight. "Please make sure Troye is okay." Steele whimpers out. "He is. He is safe." I say. "No that's not what I mean. I don't need another family member in the hospital bed too. Not again." Steele says. I then stop again? Wait what? Troye was in the hospital. "What he was in the hospital?" I ask and they all look down. "He must of not told you but, yes he was in the hospital. He drank and drank and then he came home and cut badly. Then he hit his head and blood. We almost lost our brother that day. Almost 1 year ago. We were in the same spot." Tyde says.  I then start to tear up more. That's why Mellet was not mentioned ever for a few weeks. He was here. He was in this hospital.  That's why he wasn't with Tyler that time. It all makes sense. That is why he would take some anger out. He had no way of taking it out at home. All he knew was violence because of his father, Tyler,  his friends,  his self harm, drinking. He mentioned drinking and he didn't want to do it. But I was angry and wondering why. He tried to kill himself.  Troye the love of my life has tried. I stumble back. "We are sorry if that is a shock to you Connor." Tyde says I look at them.  "It makes sense. Why he did what he has done. He had anger.  That's why he gets mad at me sometimes in the relationship. I left him when he needed me the most." I say and then rub my eyes. "Fuck." I say and then walk away from them.

"Troye." I say and then he sits up and looks at me. I run to him and hug him as tight as I can. Picking him up. His legs wrap around me. I put my head on his shoulder. My hands on his back. "I understand everything." I whisper out. "Do you love me?" Troye asks me. I set him down. Him on my lap. His eyes looking into mine. I start to cry a little seeing the hurt. The pain. The most pain I have ever seen. I touch his face and then want to reply but, no words come out for me. Tyler hurt him. Anger. His dad hurt him. Anger. Cutting hurt him. Anger. Friends hurt him. Anger. I hurt him. Anger. He has all right to yell. Scream be a little kid throwing a tantrum. He still is small trying to figure out what the fuck life is. The  Troye Sivan Mellet I used to call him. He had all the reason to pick on me. He had all the right not to tell me anything.  He had all the right to be mad and for me not to be mad at him but, I didn't know what was going on in his life.  Now I feel like shit.  He tried it. He tried to commit suicide. He was the strong one in our old relationship when he really shouldn't have been. Sure I have had it hard but, deep down he had it worse. He just played the tough guy for too long. "Troye for a matter of fact I really really do love you." I say and then kiss his lips for I don't know how long.

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Well guys this is one emotional chapter hurt writing. Bit I did it what you think?  Maybe 7 more chapters to go.