Torn Between Two

Chapter 40

Connor

I wake up to a light shining in my face. The first thought was, all that happened was a dream. But I feel a grip on my stomach not letting go. I feel a cool breeze in the room. I shiver a little realizing that I am naked. My hair damp. Nope not a dream. I lean into him a little more. Cold as hell. He has the blanket to himself. I take some of it and curl up around it. I try and go for some clothes. "Nooo. Don't leave me." Troye says into my neck. "I am cold." I say and Troye brings me closer and throws his whole body over me. "There no longer cold." Troye says. I smile and enjoy his company. Why do I still hurt. Why do I want more? Is it because I am a guy and that's all we want? No I want more from Troye. Not just sex. I want love from him. I want to be with him forever. I love him and he loves me. I have never felt like this. I hear a ring. It's from Troye's phone. I pick it up while he puts his face into my neck. "Hello?" I ask the other person on the phone. "Troye?" His mom's voice comes through the phone. "No Troye is... sleeping right now. It's Connor" I say and wait for a response. "Oh okay. Hello Connor. So I just wanted to let Troye know. We will be home in like 3 hours. So I just want him to make sure the house is clean." Laurelle says. "Yeah we will do that right for you." I say and hear some talking in the back. "Alright thank you Connor see you in 3 hours." Laurelle says and then hangs up the phone I slowly pull away from Troye. He groans. "Yes I know now let's clean." I say and he opens his eyes. I try and stand up. I fall right back down holding my lower stomach area. "No I will clean." Troye says and then helps me up. I change quickly. "No I will help. I will do the laundry." I say and he nods. I pick up all our clothes and then the blankets off the bed. I hunch over as I try and not fall. I walk into the laundry room and throw the clothes in and the blankets in the wash. I then walk into the kitchen. "Here let me do those." I say and lean on the counter. "You clean the dining room." I say and he nods. He walks off and grabs everything. Putting things away. Making sure that everything is spotless. I am scared for Monday. What if Tyler beats me? Or Troye? What if he corrupts him? What one touch and he is gone? I can't lose him. I need him in my life. I just do the dishes from last night. Thinking about things. Troye and I had sex last night. We lost it. This is our first day without it. Do I regret it? No of course I don't regret it. I loved it. I love him. Nothing will change that. Unless Tyler get's into the picture then it will all change. "Troye?" I ask him. "Yeah?" I hear him call from the living room. "One day can we get shit faced drunk?" I ask he comes around the corner. "With?" Troye asks. "Just us. Either here or at my house. Just I want to get drunk. I want to feel empty for a couple hours" I say Troye comes up to me. "Connor drinking can be dangerous for our health like the way our mental state is at." Troye says and kisses my cheek."Yeah but." I say and Troye cuts me off. "We can get a little tipsy but, drunk?" Troye asks me. "Yeah Troye I just want to forget about life for a bit. Having you beside me. While we do something rebel like. Troye please." I mumble out. "What just got into your head to think this?" Troye asks me . "I don't know Troye would you rather me do some other shit like drugs?" I ask turning around. "No I don't want you to do any of that. Sure we can have like 2 drinks but, more than that it's dangerous." Troye says. I look at him like he is crazy. "When did you ever think this. You have no experience in this? Like being drunk for one night isn't bad it's what teens do. We are still teens." I say and then lean back a little more for support. "You have no idea Connor." Troye says. I look at him confused.

"You know what. Never mind. I have something to do." Troye says and turns to walk away. I grab his hand. "Troye what do you mean. I have no idea?" I ask really worried and confused. "It doesn't matter Connor I have to do something." Troye says and looks down. "By do something mean cut? I know what that means! Troye listen to me. Talk to me for god sakes!" I yell at him. "I can't okay I can't just say this shit!" Troye says and steps back. "I don't cut for just little things like this." Troye says and then rips the grip from my hand. Pulling me forward. "Troye stop!" I yell I fall to the ground. "Have you been drunk?" I ask more calm. "I am not saying Connor. I am done. I am going to make sure the room is clean." Troye says. I reach for his hand again. I pull him forward. Then put my lips on his. I put my hands on his waist. He doesn't kiss me back right away but, when I bite his lip and he starts to kiss back. I then break the kiss and lean on him a little. "You don't have to tell me okay? I am just worried for you." I say and he looks down. "I wish I could tell you." Troye says. "It just won't come out." Troye says. I look at his birthmark. Touching it lightly. "You tell me when you are ready." I say and he nods. "Sorry for freaking at you." Troye says. He holds my neck lightly. "It's okay. I was pushing you too hard." I say. He sighs and puts his head on my forehead. I hear a door open and then I look over his shoulder. "Hello so less than an 3 hours." Laurelle says. Troye doesn't let go. "Wow you didn't trash the place Troye." His mom says. He just holds me still. I look into his eyes. "Just stay." Troye whispers to me. "Heyyy Connor!" Sage says and pats my back. "How was your little trip?" I ask putting my head on Troye's shoulder. "It was so fun thanks. How was your 3 month little thing go?" She asks. Troye moves his hand up a little to my back. "It was fun. Romantic?" I ask myself trying not to say yeah we had sex. I had sex with your brother and it was amazing. "That's so cute. I am happy." Sage says and then grabs an apple and walks up the stairs. I see his other brother Tyde come beside us. "So. How was it?" He asks leaning against the counter. "It was fun. Troye is adorable." I say and I hear Troye laugh a little. "More than adorable." Troye whispers ever so slightly. I smile a little. Tapping his back to let him know not now. "That's cute. Well I am going to see my bed now." Tyde says. Troye picks me up lightly and then sits me on the stairs. "Hey boys." His mom says. Looking at us both. I pull the shirt up so no hickies are found on my neck. "Hey mom. Is it clean enough?" Troye asks. Taking my hand. I wait for his dad to come. "Yeah it is amazing thanks boys. Did you two have fun?" She asks. I want to say more than just fun. "Yeah we did. Watched movies the whole night." Troye says. She nods. "Alright I am going to unpack." She says I move over closer to Troye so she can get by. I see a tall figure come around the wall. "Troye, Connor." His dad says. "Don't make me hit you." He says to Troye. He lets go of my hand and scratch the back of his neck. "Now move." He says. I move closer to Troye. His bag accidentally hits me in the head. Yeah right. "Thanks for asking how our night was." Troye mumbles under his breath. "Yeah okay. I could care less." He says and is about to hits Troye head. I cover his head with my arm. He hits my arm instead. "You are so lucky he has you here." He says directing this at me. "Yeah." I say and then he walks off. Troye takes my hand and brings me into the bedroom. I lean against the door. "I am sorry." Troye says to me. I shake my head. "For?" I ask myself. "For you having to take him." Troye says. "I will take anything that he throws at me if it means I get to stay with you." I say and Troye smiles he kisses my nose. "Lets just watch some movies." Troye says. I nod and we walk over to the bed without bed sheets. We watch movies for who knows how long.