Torn Between Two

Chapter 38

Connor (Very big smut warning!) 

The feeling of being exposed like this in front of someone is different. I am not saying I am regretting this one bit. I sure am not. I want this. We both do. It's the time when we have our love into a different level. Troye kissing my stomach. I hold his hair in my hands. Playing with the curls every now and then. I moan when he hits the right spots. Him spending more time on the ones I moan at. He works his way up to my neck again. Him kind of humping me? Grinding against me. "Mhhm Tro." I moan out as he hits my dick with his. "I know you want it. Just give it time." Troye says talking dirty to me. "Mhhm." I just moan out again. He works his way down my body. He kisses my belly button. I giggle and he smiles. "It's cute baby." Troye says. I laugh again then he puts his forehead on my stomach. "Rethinking?" I ask and he shakes my head. "Just a little worried." Troye says. I nod. "Me too but, I know I am safe with you. I trust you with my life. I know this will be fun once we start. I know it will." I say rubbing his neck lightly. "I am scared I am going to screw up. I will fuck it up." Troye says breathing out onto my stomach. "Baby we both don't know what to do. So we will be experiencing it together. I won't know what is right and wrong. Where is my confident Troye? I know he is in there." I say lifting his head. He looks into my eyes. "You will find me super sexy." Troye says. "There he is. I am ready when you are." I say and he nods. He looks down he holds my one hand and slip my boxers off. I feel the cold hit the area and I close my eyes. "I am still scared." Troye says. I open my eyes. "I am too. I won't hate you." I say and he nods. He moves down a little more. I feel the heat of his breath on it. I shiver a little. I feel his tongue lick the tip. I grip the sheets tight as he licks it lightly. I hold my breath. I have never felt this before. It's nice? I like it? It feels weird? I have no clue. Troye holds my hand and I don't put a tight grip on his hand just the sheets. I keep my teeth together. I look down Troye looking at it for a second then opens his mouth and starts to suck it. I moan out loudly now. I let go of Troye's hand and go to his hair. Holding it back out of his face. I throw my head back. "Mhhm Troye baby." I moan out and bring my hips up for more. He holds the bottom of it with his hand. He moves his head up and down faster. He goes back to licking it.

"Are you." I moan out not able to finish my sentence. Troye takes his mouth off and then uses his hand to jack me off. I moan loudly. "Ohh!!!" I yell loudly. Troye's other hand finds my stomach and he plays with my ribs as he slows down his speed. He puts his head on my v-line. I just shudder as I feel his breath slowly going in and out. "I love you." I moan out loudly. "I love you too." Troye says and then goes back to sucking. I want to return the favour but, the feeling sends shivers down my spine to my toes. I make them curl into a tight ball. Troye stops. "Let." I moan out. Troye moves up to my neck. "Let me. Do that to you." I mumble out. "You need to relax." Troye says. "No I will." I say feeling the tingle through my legs and my thighs. To my stomach. "No you need this." I say and then flip him over. He smirks. I slowly move his boxers away whipping them wherever they can go. I just follow what Troye did to me. I have to give him what he did to me. It felt like heaven. I slowly move my head down and look. I have never touched one really. I haven't done anything to anyone else's dick. It's a different feeling. Troye puts his hands in my hair. Pulling it not too hard. But, rough to turn me on a little. I then put my tounge on it. Licking it up and down. Troye moaning a little. "Wow I think you know what you are doing." Troye moans out. I then take it in my mouth sucking up and down. Troye moaning and shaking like I did. Using my spit for more than I thought it would be used for. I start to use my hand. Troye moving his hands to my back. He moves it up and down close to my ass but, not close enough. I start to move my hand up and down. I then stop and move to his neck. His face going red as he breaths heavy. "Oh Connor." Troye yells as I move it up and down slow. I move to his neck and he holds my ass tight. He holds it tighter as I kiss his neck. "Connor." He breaths out. "Can we handle the other shit?" Troye asks. I look at cheeks red as hell. "I can if you can." I say and he laughs a little. "You are challenging me? I bet I could go all night." Troye says. I laugh a little. "Alright Mr.Cocky." I say and Troye laughs. I smack his shoulder. He slowly moves to his bedside table. "My mom have me these to use whenever. Never needed to use them until now. So here we go." Troye says. Two beside us. Troye holds my waist. "Me first?" Troye asks. I nod. "Sure." I say and he moves my hips and kisses me lightly. "I am letting you know it will hurt." Troye says. I nod knowing it will. "It will feel good once we start gong. I'll go slow." Troye says. I nod slowly. I move so he is able to get access. I hold the sheet and my face into the pillow. Troye kisses my hips then my ass. "Your ass is so cute." Troye says I smile a little. I hear the condom open. "This is it." I say and I feel Troye mumble something. I just can't hear. Don't lose it. You will regret it. Stop before it gets good. Make him suffer. No leave me alone. I will enjoy this because I trust him. I will. I move my head and shake it to get the voices out of my head. "Baby you okay?" Troye asks noticing my movement. "Voices." I mumble out. He kisses my ass again. "Just focus on me. They will leave soon." Troye says, I nod and I feel him run his hand down to the place I have never been touched before. I then feel something inside me. Not his dick. His finger. I moan a little. This feeling is different. Nice? Painful? Pleasurable. That is what it is Pleasurable. Troye moving it in and out. I wince every time he does it. "Too fast?" Troye asks me. "No I like it. Sure it hurts but, it's a way to get used to it." I say and he nods.

"Do you want more?" Troye asks and I nod. He pulls his finger out. I then feel him touch his dick to me. I moan a little ready for this. He slowly puts it in more. I wince as the pain hurts me. I don't want him to stop. He moves it all the way in and I close my eyes and grip the bed sheets. The blankets half way off. The pillow covering and absorbing my sweat. I don't feel cold anymore. I don't feel alone anymore. I don't feel that Troye doesn't love me anymore. I feel that this love we have is more than anyone has ever experienced. I moan as he pulls out a little. "Want to stop?" Troye asks. I shake my head into the pillow. He touches my back and then to my neck. To rub it a little. "Are you in pain?" Troye asks me. "Yeah but, it feels good." I say and he kisses my ass again. "Okay let me know when you want to stop." Troye says. He puts it back in. Slowly he doesn't go any faster. The pain still there but, it feels amazing. Like there is pain but, not much anymore. "Faster?" Troye asks me.I nod eagerly wanting more as he pushes in and out faster. I hold the sheets with my knuckles going white. Is hand holding my hips. I need this and want this so bad. I need more. I push back. The pain slowly fading. Troye starts to moan. "Mhhm fuck Troye." I moan out loudly. "Ughh." I moan into the pillow I am using to keep my screams to a minimum. Troye he holds my ass tighter. Squeezing it hard as he pushes in and out. "Fuck." I moan out. "Me baby." I moan out. Troye pulls out and then I go right over to him. I take the condom off and start to suck it. "I am so close." Troye moans out as I suck it harder and harder. Troye's hand still on my ass as I suck. He moans a little more and then I feel something in my mouth I have never tasted before. A lot and I know I have to swallow. Troye throws his head back and moans loudly. "Fuck." Troye says. I take his dick out of my mouth and wipe my face. His eyes closed. The sweat in his curls. Troye pushes me back and kisses me on the lips. "Fuck that was amazing." Troye says and I nod. "Let me make you feel the same." Troye says. Before I could say no he is down there already sucking hard. "Fuck." I moan out as he plays with my hands. His one hand jacking me off hard. I feel this pain in my stomach and it goes down. Troye's mouth so deep. I feel something come out. "Mhhm." I moan out as I release. Troye doing the same as I did for him. He takes his mouth off and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. I lose my eyes and he keep s his hands on my hips as I play with his hair. He kisses my stomach as I just breath heavy. Troye sits up and sits next to me. He wipes the sweat off my face. "I love you so much Connor Joel Franta." Troye says to me. He lays down beside me. He takes one of his sheets and covers us up. Just so later we don't get cold. "You know what?" I ask Troye. "Yeah?" Troye asks. He draws things on my chest. "I don't think I will miss it." I say and Troye props his head up with his other hand. "What?" Troye asks confused. "I don't think I am going to miss my virginity." I say and Troye smiles. "You know what baby? Me either." Troye says and kisses my cheek. 

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Is it normal to feel dirty after writing this? Or not? Cause I kind of do feel dirty writing this. This is my first smut in detail actually.