Torn Between Two

Chapter 55

Troye

“Connor no stay with me please!” I yell as he is gone. “Please I need you.” I cry and put my head on his stomach. I am dragged back by other people. “Troye he is going to be okay. You did the right thing to call. He could have died.” The one girl says. “My dad is he going to jail?” I ask tears going down my face. “Yes he is. He will be in there. We are going to take you to the hospital he is at. Then we will get some questions from you and Connor is that okay?” She asks sitting me down on the couch. “Yeah.” I say and then she nods. For a while I am crying shaking. I am taken up the stairs. I run to my room quickly and I grab my phone and Connor’s from my stand. I sigh and then run down the stairs. My sister right there. “Your sister is going to be riding with us two okay?” The lady says. I nod and then we are taken out into the police car. “So this is my assistant she will be asking some questions if you are up to it.” The lady says and starts the car. “Hi Troye and Sage. I know this is a massive shock but, are you up to answering some questions?” She asks. I just keep silent. “I can. I know it will be tough for Troye.” Sage says. I put my head on the car ledge of the window. “So how is that guy related to you?” The women asks. “Our dad.” Sage answers for us. “Thank you. Now how long has this been going on?” The lady asks. I close my eyes. “Well I shouldn’t ask that. Troye should. He never hurt us only Troye.” Sage says. “Ever since I came out in grade nine.” I say low. “Okay. So for about 3 years?” She asks. “Yes.” I say already annoyed I can’t I just want Connor right now. “Okay so Troye what is your relationship with the boy who was hurt?” The girl asks. “He is my boyfriend for god sakes. I can’t do this. I just need to see him.” I blurt out. “Okay enough questions for now.” The women says. Sage puts her hand on my shoulder. I just ignore her. For a while I cry as we make our way to the hospital. “We will be back okay Troye?” The girl asks. I nod and then we stop. I rush out of the car and I see Connor being taken in. “Let me see him!” I yell pushing through a bunch of people. “Sir we are going to need space. I will let you know when you can see him okay?” The woman says and then I hear something I don’t ever want to hear. The flat line of his heart machine. I stop and my world spins. “Troye!” Sage yells and holds me back. “He can’t die on me! He is going to die! I will die too! Sage I can’t do this! I can’t!” I scream out. My mom right behind me. My whole family holding me while I scream. “It’s his fault! Where is he!” I yell and then we walk in. “Troye come here. Calm down.” My mom says. “Mom I am gonig to lose the love of my life! If he dies I am gone I don’t care anymore. Mom he is my everything!” I yell and see the police asking him questions far away. I walk up to him. “Troye.” Sage says. “If he is dead because of you I will fucking kill you! You hear me!” I yell and I am dragged back from a lot of people. “Okay Troye you have fun butt fucking!” My dad I don’t think I should even call him that anymore. I hate him! I hate him so fucking much! “Troye look at me!” Sage says and holds my face. “Connor he will be fine. He is here he is getting help! You need to sit down and breathe okay! Then you need to listen to what everyone says if you want to get him into jail! Answer questions! And don’t argue with them! I know you love Troye okay! I know you do! But you need to be strong for him! You need to calm down and when they call you to answer questions! Connor will be right there with you! Okay so sit the fuck down and breathe!” Sage says and brings me to a place to sit down. “I… I…. am sorry….” I start to cry out. The tears coming down harder and faster than ever. “I just can’t lose him okay?” I say and then cry harder and harder. “I know and you won’t. He is in good hands. We didn’t lose you.” Sage says. I wish they fucking did! “Ah I wish you did.” I mumble under my breathe so no one hears a thing. “Troye just breathe everything will be okay. He will be fine. Questions will be asked. Everything is fine. “ Sage says sitting beside me. My mom on the other side. I close my eyes for a bit. “Troye? Can we ask you a few more questions about your father?” A lady a different one with the same eyes as Connor. I look into them and turn my head like a lost dog. “Sure.” I say and she takes me into a room. “I know it may be hard right now. Having your friend in the hospital because of your father, and I know it may be hard to think straight, but answer these the best you can okay?” The girl asks. “Oh and my name is Skylar. I am trained for this so I won’t be like others will you give me a chance Troye?” Skylar asks me. I nod my head. “He isn’t my friend. He is my boyfriend for starts. And it is really hard when all I want to do is kill my father for this.” I say and rub my eyes. “Yes I know Troye it is very hard. So why did your father beat you Troye and no one else in the family?” Skylar asks. “Umm cause I am gay. He hates gays. Always have and always will. I know he won’t change but, I mean he shouldn’t of touched my boyfriend like that hurt him I love him and I need him.” I say and she nods. “So we have found out records that Connor self harms, he used to starve and he has fresh cuts do you know this?” Skylar asks. “Yeah he is very self conscious about himself though. I feel bad and I want to help him. It is a hard habit to stop. He doesn’t starve I helped him through that though.” I say and she nods. I play with my ring. “Troye how long have you and Connor been together?” Skylar asks. “Almost 4 months close to it.” I say and she nods. I stay calm. “Okay so he has done this for 3 years?” She asks. “Yeah.” I say answers slowly going down hill. “Does Connor have family? That family does he live with? Or does he live with you?” Skylar asks. “His family he has a mom and siblings. He doesn’t live with me but, visits a lot.” I say and she nods. I hand her his phone unlocking it. “I will be right back. I am going to his family know.” Skylar says. I nod and then sit there and think. He better be okay. His dad better not come! I will kill him as well. Do I tell that his dad is like mine? Or should I leave it. Let him do it. For a while I process thoughts in my head. Then the door opens and Connor’s phone is handed back to me. “How did they take it?” I ask. “Not very well. His mom picked up and I told her and she started to cry.” Skylar says. I nod and look down. “Thank you for your time Troye. I know this may be hard on you. Keep strong and we all believe in you. I know you will get through this. As soon as Connor is awake or you are allowed in I will let you know okay?” She asks. I nod and then stand up.  “Thank you.” I say and she nods. I walk out and sit back down. My whole family being asked questions. I just sit there and wait for a call to come. Hours pass and people come and go. Some crying. Some smiling. Some people sick but, not as bad. I just wish I was the person walking out with Connor in my hands. That is not the case. It’s like fish. This is the tank and some of us die. Some of us get sick. Some just stay in the tank forever and some leave. I am staying until I get my boy back and safe and alive. “Troye?” A woman calls. I look up after a good 5 hours here. My name is called. I run to her. “Is he okay? Please tell me he is okay!” I yell at her. She frowns. “He is okay. But, he is sore. Tired and injured badly. I know that it will be hard for him to do things. I know that you will be there but, the reason why he passed out is his body is very weak and sore and he couldn’t handle the pain. His line went flat because his chest is swollen a lot from the kicking that it made his lungs slowly give up.” The lady says. It isn’t Skylar it is someone else. “Can I see him? Is he awake?” I ask and she smiles a little. “You can see him and he should wake up soon. I will lead you all to the room if you would like?” The lady asks. I nod walking right beside her. The door that I know my boy is in. In pain from all this. He shouldn’t be in the bed. I should be. I know that sounds bad but, I would do anything for him. Even if it meant to die for him.

I open the door slowly and I see my boy who is so sensitive and loveable. Who is now hurt and sore. I walk into the room slowly and pull up a chair beside him. I sit and then put my hand on his and kiss it lightly. “I need you please don’t leave.”  I say and then put my forehead against his cold skin. I hear him breathe in and out slowly. I just stay silent while my family talks with each other. “Troye do you want coffee? Or anything to eat?” Sage asks coming close to me. “A coffee would be nice.” I say and she nods. Before I know she is gone. Slowly my family leaves me. My mom stays. I know she thinks I need someone and she is right. I do need someone here with me. “He will be okay Troye.” She says to me. I nod and keep my face close to his hand never letting go. “I know.” I say and then hum some songs to keep myself awake. For another 15 minutes I stay like this humming different songs. “I can’t let you leave me.” I say as the tears fall. “I need you in my life and don’t go anywhere please.” I say to him again. He moves his head so it is facing me. Nothing. No eyes opening. My mom just slowly falls asleep. “I need you baby boy. So much more than you know.”  I say with my hand on his ring I have gave him. I then hear a moan and then eyes open. “Troye” Connor’s voice comes out slowly. “Oh my god yes I am here.” I say and the my mom shoots up. “I am always here. I love you so fucking much.” I say and then stand up so he can see me. “Where am I?” He asks and I sigh. “The hospital baby. I know it may be hard to think of it at first but, I can explain later.” I say and he slowly nods. “Do they know about.” Connor stops in the middle of his sentence. “Yeah they know.” I say and he looks down. I then slowly lean in. “I can’t let you leave me.” I say and he looks up. “I  won’t Troye I promise. I won’t ever leave you.” Connor says and then kisses me lightly. I smile into the kiss. As long as I know Connor is safe then I am safe as well. It makes me feel at ease that he is okay.