Torn Between Two

Chapter 16

Troye 

Connor stares at me. On my eye. I should have covered it up. I can't let him worry about me. I have to talk to him. I slowly go to speak and then the words don't come out. I just look at him with hurt and wanting to tell him. Tyler comes up and Connor turns away from me. Acting like he isn't talking to me. "Troye what the hell!" Tyler says and slaps my arm. I close my eyes and I don't say anything but the pain hurting me so much. I mouth the word fuck. "Tyler not feeling well. The front isn't as bumpy."I say closing my eyes again. He leans back and the continues to say. . "Alright. Anyways Franta you don't get away today. Right Troye?" Tyler says hitting Connor's shoulder, he flinches and I see the pain in his eyes. He looks at me. Don't talk please don't say anything rude."Yeah not getting away." I say looking down trying not to be so rude. Tyler moves back and Connor turns to me. He speaks fast. "Troye." Connor says in a whisper. "What happened?" Connor asks. I look down need to lie. "I fell." I say quietly.. "Fucking bullshit. Tell me. You can text me if you want."Connor says I just shake my head. I can't tell him. "Leave it Connor."I slowly whisper to him. "Okay." Connor says then I think. "Call me tonight." I say not even thinking about anyone can hear me. "Why don't you just come over?" Connor asks me then he stops. "I can't tonight." I say knowing that Tyler will nit pick at me today. I turn to face the front when the jocks get on. Mark behind Marcus, they swing at Connor. "HEYYYY!" I hear Tyler yell. "Ugh."I hear Connor say. He puts his headphones in and I look his way. He looks me in the eyes trying to find something. I know he won't find it. I'm not as open as people would like me to be. The bus comes to a stop. Connor gets off as fast as he can. I wait for Tyler. "I'll catch up with you in a minute. I have to say something to Connor." Tyler says running off. For a while I stand there with Zoe and her new boyfriend. Alfie. Yes Alfie Deyes. Just a normal guy. He does not belong in any groups he is normal. I just listen to their conversation. About school. Being popular. We head in slowly. Zoe way ahead of me. I keep my head low until I hear Connor mumble something and then I look towards him I frown and I go join my so called friends. I don't listen to the chat. I hear Tyler comment on my eye. Then he laughs. I don't even care at this moment. Then I feel the pain in my eye and a hand leaving my face. I hold my face. "Troye needs to be more careful about where he walks." Tyler says and everyone laughs. If they knew what I am going through then maybe just maybe in their cold hearted chest they would feel bad for me. The bell rings and I grab my art walking towards the room. I wonder what I will get in trouble for drawing today. I open the door slowly thinking maybe today won't be as bad as this morning. It won't be as bad as my father, beating his own son, for fun! It can't be as bad as that. Connor is sitting down already and I stare his way. Looking and thinking. How could someone be so precious and quite be so broken? Hurt? Sad? I don't know what he is he never told me straight out that he is broken, hurt, sad. Nothing. I just keep staring hoping to find something in his face to tell me a clue on what he is feeling. He tilts his head just a little . I shake my head and break the trance. What is this boy doing to me. "Alright you will be drawing something scary. It can be anything." Mr. Howell says. I look down at my page. Here goes another day with getting kicked out. I slowly start to draw something. I just let my emotions out. I draw a little boy with so many thoughts around his head, the feeling of darkness invading him. Everyone laughing and not caring. But one person who is there for him. Trying to pick him back out of the darkness. "Mellet will also see me after class." Mr. Howell says that's when I lose it. "I don't get this school honestly."I say and throw my hands up. I put my head down. "You tell me to draw something scary and then I get into trouble." I say and then get more mad. I feel the pain hitting my head. After class! I need to go to class! If my dad finds out that I got into trouble he will beat me even more. I can't let this even be told. Tyler will know. Everyone will know if I stay after class. Rumors spread in this school like a disease. It will never go away. It will spread fast with the right time to. It will kill everything in it's way and that is what will happen and I will be dead eventually. I need out. When you get home Troye you cut. Release the stress. Make the pain go away. Let it all out. The art on your skin that no one will know about. You will never get into trouble about that. Cutting is our little secret that no one will know. I will never tell anyone. I want to tell Connor but, he will get scared off. I can't let the boy that i'm madly falling for leave my side. Cutting will always stay something I never tell anyone. Not even Franta. NO matter how bad he begs me to tell him everything.