Torn Between Two

Chapter 37

Troye (Smut warning for the next maybe 2 chapters?)

My head on his shoulder. I have had this planned for a while. I just want it to be perfect. I kiss his neck for a minute. "Mhhm." Connor moans out. I then move my hand to his thigh moving it closer to his pleasurable place. He puts his head back. "Ugh Troye mhmm." He says. I know he is turned on. "Mhhm please." He moans out and taking my head to his neck. "Not yet." I mumble and he groans. "Why do you do this. Turn me on then leave me hanging?" Connor asks. "It's part of being together. I have to tease you. 3 months is something." I say and take his hand. He covers my eyes. Leading me somewhere. "Troye you are going to run me into something." Connor says. "Keep your eyes closed." I say and let go of his hand. "I swear to god if it's a spider I will kill you." Connor says. I laugh. "Babe I am not that rude to you." I say and then light a candle. "Okay walk forward." I say and he puts his head to the side. "I can't see." Connor says. "Okay walk forward then open your eyes." I say and then sit down in the chair. "Why is it dark?" Connor asks walking forward. I put my head on my hand. Smiling. Everything is perfect. "It smells good." Connor says he touches the chair. "You can open now." I say and he slowly opens his eyes. His hands leave the seat. "Wow." Connor says and slowly walks to see the flowers. "Happy 3 months." I say and he looks up and I see the tears in his eyes I stand up. "No don't cry." I say and go to his cheek. "It's amazing thank you." Connor says. I wipe his tears. "Anything for my everything." I say and kiss his nose. "I know you don't eat much but, I made sure it was decent food. I made it myself." I say and Connor laughs. "Thank you." Connor says and hugs me tight. "I love you." Connor says and then breaks the hug. "I love you too Connor." I say and sit down. He sits down. We talk about the randomest shit. "Hey did you hear Tyler is flirting with Zoe's brother." I say and Connor takes a bite of spaghetti. Then closes his eyes. "Oh my god." Connor says swallowing. "Like why? He is so gross and I have to say and I love you to death Joe is kinda hot." Connor mumbles out. "Okay. I am not the only one." I say and Connor laughs. "He can't have you. You are mine." Connor says and takes a sip of wine. "That's okay, I want you anymore. More than you know." I say and Connor blushes. It's true. I think I am ready. I don't know about Connor but, if he makes a move I know I will be. I have waited for him. Never wanting to push him into anything.

"Troye?" Connor asks. "Yeah?" I ask back looking up. "I think I will try and get better." Connor says. "Like I will try and stop cutting, starving, anything." Connor says. I smile. "I am so proud of you. I will do it with you. I won't cut anymore unless you do." I say and he nods. "Okay deal." He says. We chat for a while. Then we finish half the bottle of wine. I feel a little tipsy but, I know what is going on. I have full control over myself. Same with him. I put the dishes away. Connor sits on the couch. After putting them on the counter. I walk over to him. Connor smiles and opens his arms. "Cuddles." Connor says and I smile. I go and lay with him. He cuddles right next to me. "I am staying the night?" Connor asks with his eyes on my neck. "Yeah you sure can if you want to. My parents don't come home until noon they don't care if you are here or not. Well my dad. Whatever I don't care." I say and Connor hums into my neck. He then crawls onto my stomach and puts his head on my chest. He slowly moves up and I roll onto on my side. Him underneath me. I start to attack him in kisses. "God I love you so much. I just can't say it enough." I say in between kisses. He smiles and giggles at my actions. I kiss his neck a little. I put my hand on his cheek to make his neck exposed. Connor latches onto my arm. I kiss it lightly. He moans every time I move spots. I smile and then move down to his shoulder. His eyes are closed and his fingers now in a fist. His back in the air. I then move my hand to his stomach and tracing designs on his stomach. He moans ever louder. "Sorry." Connor says covering his mouth. "Babe you can be as loud as you want. No one is home. I don't mind at all. It kinda turns me on if I am being honest." I say and he blushes. "You are all mine tonight. Whatever we want." I mumble into his ear the hot breath touching his ear. "Sound good?" I ask one more time. "Perfect." Connor says I put my hand on his thigh. "I trust you." Connor says. A pain in my stomach from feeling love. Feeling happy. "I trust you so much." Connor moans out as I run my hand to his ass squeezing it. I smile and kiss his neck again. "Should we take this into the room?" Connor moans out again. "Only if you want to." I say out making him turned on. I look down at his crotch area. Yup I did it. "I fucking would love to." Connor says his breath heavy. I can see he is trying to hide it. "Don't hide it. I know I am fucking hot." I say and he smiles. "Okay Troye yes you are fucking hot. Sexy, and I bet you are more hot when you are shirtless." Connor moans out. I scoop him up and start to stand up. "Troye." He giggles out. "You are making me turned on." I say and he blushes. "I say we figure that up there who is hotter." I mumble into his air. I take him up the stairs. I walk into my room and close the door. I lock it just of habit. Connor giggles. "You will be of course." Connor says. I shake my head. "No it will be you. Mr. Franta." I say and he smiles. "Mr. Franta. Wow I thought it was Babe or Baby?" Connor asks. I hold him in my arms. I walk over to the bed and lay him down and climb on top of him. "What do you like better?" I ask my lips close to his. "Umm I don't care." Connor says playing with the hem of my shirt. The normal sweater covering both of us. "Alright baby." I say and kiss his nose. He holds my shirt in a fist. I lower myself down just a little hovering over his lips. "No, no more teasing." Connor moans out. "Just a little more." I say and then kiss his cheek. "Oh no I missed." I say kissing around his face. He laughs as I kiss his forehead. "Please just kiss me. I beg you." Connor says. I smile and then lean literally so close to his lips. I don't kiss it, I bite it instead. I pull just a little to make him breath out more. I smile holding myself up with one arm. My other hand goes to his thigh. I see him look at me. "No don't tease me babe." Connor says I shake my head. "Sorry it's boyfriend protocol to tease your boyfriend." I make some bullshit story up. Connor laughs a little. I then put my lips lightly on his. He puts his hand on the back of neck. Tangling in my hair. He pulls not too tight as I put my lips harder on his. I finally move my hand back up and then I fully go in for the kiss. Connor wraps his legs around me. His arms under my shirt to my back.

I roll on the side still kissing. I put my tongue on his lips tasting some wine. Then he opens his mouth a little. I pull back a little smiling. Letting us both get air. I breath in lightly and go in for it. This is my time. Forever and always will be remembered. Never forgotten. I then bite his lip then ask for an opening again. He opens his mouth. Of course we have done this many times. This feels more heated? More sexual? Will I lose my virginity? Or will I not tonight. Sure I am super horney but all guys get that. We are boys. I explore his mouth and he does the same. He slowly moves up so he is sitting up. His legs still around me. I feel his area brush against mine. I moan a little. I feel a smile. We continue the kiss. I break it and we are lost for breath. "Wow." Connor mumbles out. I nod. "That was the best I have ever had. Like no offence I guess it's the heat of the moment?" Connor asks. I nod. "No I feel the same way." I say and then slowly go for his sweater. "Any new things I have to be careful? Dad hit you recently?" I ask worried I might hurt certain things. "Umm no dad hits. Cut about 2 days." Connor says looking down. "That's okay. Where?" I ask not worried about him cutting. I will help him. We will stop together. "My wrist and my lower leg and higher up near my v-line." Connor explains. "You are not mad?" Connor asks worried. "Of course not. Baby I am proud of you living this far. I know life is hard but, we will stop this together. I cut 5 days ago. No dad hitting." I explain to him. He nods. "Okay." Connor says. I help him take off his sweater. Kissing in between each arm out. Then he slowly takes my sweater off doing the same as I did for him. He kisses me in between. I then slowly reach for his shirt to take it off. "I'm ready." Connor mumbles. I look confused. "For? We have seen each other shirtless." I say and he shakes his head. "No Troye something I have been scared to do for a while. Or even think off but, Troye if you are ready I am ready to lose my virginity." Connor says and closes his eyes. Wait he wants to actually do this? Is it just me or did I hear things right. I looked shocked. "I mean if you are not ready. I won't force you. Whenever you are ready baby." Connor says trying to redeem himself. I smile. "I can't wait. To lose it with someone I love too much." I say and he smiles. He touches my flushed cheek. "Are you sure?" He asks. "Yeah are you?" I ask and he nods. "I have thought about it a lot today. We love each other. It just shows how much love we have." Connor says. He slowly moves his hand from my face to my neck and smiles. "Yes it does. I love you more than I can even say." I say and kiss his hand. I take both hands and kiss his hand to his wrists. To all the way up his shoulder. I slowly move to take his shirt off. I look at the cuts on his wrists as I slowly take it off. I put my hands on his stomach. I touch his wrist. "They are bad. What were you thinking back then?" I ask worried for him. "I will tell you later I promise." Connor says. I hold his hand and then run my fingers up and down the cut area lightly. I close my eyes as I feel so bad for him going through this. The reaches for my shirt and takes it off. I look down and realize he has gained some weight. I don't mention it. But I am so glad. I smile as he moves down slowly again. His hands touch my stomach. I slide down in the middle of his legs not wanting to hurt his cuts. I take his belt and undo it. I keep my eyes on his. His hand in my hair playing with the curls. I keep my eyes on his lips and his eyes. I slowly take it off. I throw everything on the floor. His belt hits the floor. I close my eyes as I slowly take his jeans in my hand. I have never seen his legs before. I have never seen near there. I move them and see his v-line. I touch it slowly and put my hands on his stomach. He touches my face lightly. Then he helps me take them off. His hands beside mine. He kicks them off and they fall on the ground. I look at his thighs. They are bad as well. I kiss them lightly. He moans. "Mhhm Troye." Connor moans out. He is sensitive there I am guessing. I kiss them a couple more times. Then I move beside him. I slowly take mine off. He helps me. With one more flick of my ankle what separates us from our virginity. I put my head on his stomach one last time leaving little marks behind. This is it. I lose it. I won't ever want it back after but, I know that we will enjoy this moment. This moment is ours to go as fast or slow as we want.