Torn Between Two

Chapter 63

Troye (just to get the story going I need to skip a bit so be patient please)

For a while Connor has not looked at me. Not come near me or even bother to say anything in any classes. Music.  I am alone. We have a project to do together and I can't get a word out of him. I just give him the cords to play and he takes them and then puts them in his binder. What else does he want from me. I did everything I could to get him back. I message him.  He blocked my number. I try to talk to him in real life and he walks away. Nothing works. Maybe this whole relationship thing is not a thing anymore.  Tyler has talked to me more. I don't bother talking to him really because he is the one that did this. I have noticed Connor has been talking to Jamie lately I mean a lot.  They smile and talk about anything  together and sure it makes me super mad to deal with. I have to realize he isn't mine anymore. He can do whatever he wants. I then have to realize I am single again. I know I won't date anyone until Connor wants me back. Even if it takes forever to get him back I will wait for him. I know it sounds stupid but, would you give up someone you love so much and date someone new?  You wouldn't get the same feeling you did the first time. Ever. I don't plan on dating. I mean I could date Tyler but what would that do? He isn't nice to me like Connor is. He isn't Connor I have to realize that. No one is.  "Hey Troye you have been zoned out a while is everything okay?" Sage asks looking at me. I look at her and then over to Connor to see him smiling with Jamie.

"Umm yeah. I'm... good." I say and look back.  "Yes I know it's hard to see Connor as something else but, you never know what will happen okay?" Sage asks. I nod and then look over once more then the bell rings. "I'll see you later have fun in music." Sage says and then walks away. I slowly walk to music. Jamie following close to Connor.  Then I get into the classroom. I sit down in our assign seats. I look over and see Connor sit down.  He doesn't speak.  I have to try and say something once the teach speaks and says to get to work I turn to him. "Co." I start to say. "I have learned the cords. You have the song done?" Connor asks. I then pause. He talked to me. "Umm almost." I whimper out lightly.  "I am trying to Umm ahh get the piano to sound good."I say not even saying it proud. "Okay. Piano?" He asks this is the longest conversation he has ever had with me. "Sure." I say. We walk into the other room with the piano. I slowly sit down and put my hands on the piano. Connor sits next to me. "Look Connor." I start to say. "I don't want to hear it Troye just play." Connor says and then looks down playing with his hands. Oh god how much would I give up to touch him again.  Anything. I would still die for him. I just turn my head to face the piano. I then start to play random keys. Connor with a note book ready to mark down the cords. I just close my eyes and go for it. Humming the words of the song. After that. I just keep going. I start to sing under my breathe. "Only fools fall for you." I sing and kind of Humm out. "What did you say?" Connor says. "Didn't pick it up." He says looking at me. "No sorry nothing." I say then finish the cord. I turn to him. "Does it sound good?" I ask and he nods. "Yeah now piano and guitar and your voice we will be getting a good mark." I say and then look at him. I look at his eyes. He looks into mine. Slowly the memories flood back into my brain. The first kiss. The first fight. The first ever time we saw each other shirtless. I slowly lean in and Connor leans in too but before I can put my lips on his. "Umm I need to do something." Connor says and then stands up and walks out of the room and to the teacher. Before I know he gone. I start to tear up. I put my hands on the piano. Playing the same cords again.  "I am tired of this place I hope people change. . I need time to replace what I gave away. And my hopes they are high I must keep them small." I sing out and then start to think.  "Only fools fall for you. Only fools do what I do." I sing out and then stop playing I slam my head down on the keys. I burst out crying. "Don't give a fuck not giving up." I cry out on the piano. I sit there crying. "Only fools." I whimper out. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around fast wiping my eyes. "Troye." Jamie says and then I turn back around. "I am fine now please go." Jamie says and then he sits next to me. "Those lyrics are beautiful." Jamie says. "They are just my thoughts.  Now I can't right now." I say and he nods. "I get it but, feeling this way makes things worse. Please try and forget." Jamie says. I just laugh a little. "Yeah so simple." I say and then stand up. "I mean try it's hard at first but, I know the way you look at him you want him. I get that  you two were cute. He left you and now you feel guilt don't.  Please  just try." Jamie says I then look down. I hate being me I hate feeling shit. "Mhhm." I say and then push past him before he can say something else. He doesn't know what we had.