Torn Between Two

Chapter 46

Troye 

I know that Connor tried yesterday. And I love him for it. But it changed nothing. They still tease him. They still hurt me. Social media is a bitch. I've blocked Tyler on every social media platform I can think of, but he always seems to find a way to get to me.

He hacked into my Facebook and posted shit about Connor all over it. That was one hell of an explanation for me. Everyone's unfollowed me on Instagram. 1.1k followers has dropped to 300 followers in the space of three months. Even my ex-best friend Zoe's stopped talking to me.

The only person I have left is Connor. But what about when he leaves? I know he will. Everyone always leaves. Always.

I can't trust anyone anymore. My bestest bestest friend betrayed me. How am I meant to feel about this?

I won't lie and say I don't miss the popularity. I do. I miss boys longing for me. I miss all the likes I used to get on my pictures. I miss the back of the bus. I miss having actual friends. Connor tells me they didn't care for me.

But they did. Right?

They were at the hospital when I almost died.

But then again, Tyler was the one that almost killed me.

I used to try and be nice to people. He called me useless. He said my only use was being a boy-toy. And that's what I became. To almost every gay guy in the entire school. I was theirs.

I never had sex with any of them. I refused. Tyler never pushed me. He only pushed about it when I was his. We came pretty damn close to it before my sister Sage walked in and told us that the living room was in need of desperate cleaning.

Which was, obviously, my fault.

After that, I was self-conscious. I was positive I was worthless and useless. I was submissive. That made Tyler happy. Which made him hurt me less. Which made me happy. I slowly drift off into a dream land and I have this weird thought.

Flash Back

I hop on the bus and wave a small wave with a slight smile at Connor Franta. He's one of the kids Tyler bullies. I've been trying not to get involved. He's quite nice, actually. Great friend material. He smiles back and me and raises his hand in an awkward wave.

I grab onto the pole next to me as the bus lurches forward, almost falling. Tyler laughs from the back of the bus, "Hey Troye!" I smile and run up the stairs towards the back seat. "Tilly! What's up? How was your weekend?"

"Great, actually. Yours?" Ty replies and pats the seat next to him. "It was alright. Dan Howell, you know the one from our science class, he came over," I answer and sit down next to him. Tyler turns to me.

"You mean the one that I told you not to talk to?" he asks, his eyes narrowing slightly. I hit his arm playfully. "Come on, Ty. He's not that bad. He's really nice." Tyler snickers, "Does that mean you're not coming with Zoe and I this afternoon?"

"What's happening this afternoon?" I ask slowly, but I already know. They're going to beat him up. Before he can even tell me, I reply, "No. I'm not coming." Tyler raises an eyebrow, "Why not?" I hesitate and look out the window of the bus. "I'm just not."

"I thought you were my friend," Tyler says quietly. "I am your friend. I just don't want to beat someone up." I reply. "Especially not someone nice."

"Then what do you want to do? What exactly are you good for, Troye?"

I bite my lip, "I'm nice." Tyler scoffs at me and shakes his head. "Wow. What a great accomplishment. You're nice. Well that's just great."

"You know what you are, Troye?"