Torn Between Two

Chapter 58

Connor

I know Troye is being nice and caring for me but, he should worry about himself. He is hurting because of his dad is done. I hear the alarm go off for our first day back. Honestly I am scared, Tyler, everyone will hurt me. I know what you are gonna say you have Troye. Yes I know I do but, when it comes down to it, I can’t and don’t have him. Yes he will do anything for me, yes he will protect me. Tyler is a disease he will make Troye do things to keep my safe. He cares too much. I know Troye feels pain when I get hurt, sure I do as well when he is hurt. I just don’t want him to hurt himself for me. I then sit up from the bed. Troye still sound asleep from being up when I scream from a bad dream, or when I kick him awake from my nightmares. The medicine wears off and I get a stomach ache or back pains. He stays awake making sure I get back to bed before he falls asleep. I hold my stomach and slowly get up to change. I know Troye should be helping but, I don’t care. He is too tired to wake up now. I grab some baggy clothes the gauze and medical tape scraping slowly against my body. I then wiggle into a shirt and then Troye’s sweater. I put some socks on and then I wince walking into the bathroom. My breath getting heavier. I make it to the sink and then sigh. I style my hair into its quiff. I then walk slowly into the hall. “Connor you should be with Troye. He should be with you while you walk and shit. Are you sure you are up for school?” Sage asks me. “I am fine. I really am. Although could you please get me some water. So I can take my pill?” I ask her and she nods. She walks away down the stairs and I go back into the room. I stand there looking at Troye sleep and how peaceful it is when he is just sleeping. I then look at the time. I need to wake him up now. Before I do. I pick out some clothes for him. Then set them on the bed. I then walk over to the bed slowly and kneel down. I then kiss his forehead. “Time to wake up baby. To go to school.” I say and Troye tries to roll over. “Nope it’s not 5 more minutes. It’s now.” I say and he comes closer to me without opening his eyes. “Okay. Just for you I will help you get ready then get myself ready.” Troye says and opens his eyes. “About that. I already got myself ready.” I say and Troye sits up faster than a bullet fired. “Connor you know you are supposed to get my help from me. To get help you do anything. You are still in pain. Don’t lie because last night it was bad. I know it was. You were awake for a while. So don’t even okay. You are supposed to wake me to help you.” Troye says and then looks at me and rubs his face in annoyance. “OKay I am sorry I wanted to do something for myself after a while. It makes me mad that you have to be the one to wake up at night with my stupid nightmares, you have to be the one to help me back to sleep when I know you should be sleeping, you are the one that gets kicked or whatever I do at night, you are the one that has to make sure I am okay. I feel bad for you.” I say and then stand up tired of making him do things for me. “Connor listen to me turn around.” Troye says. I keep walking. I then see Sage in the door. She sets it down and then I pick it up. Walk over to my pills and grab two and put them in. I then leave the water there and keep walking. I hear Troye pick up two things we need which is our book bags.

“Connor listen and look at me.” Troye says and then jumps in front of me. “I am sorry I am such a burden okay. I am sorry I live with you. I am going home tonight.” I say and then Troye pulls me into a big kiss. Catches me off guard my arms to my side and his hands on my face. I don’t kiss back. He pulls back. “Sometimes you don’t shut up so I have to do that. It is a good thing though. Anyways your not a burden! You are my love. You are my boyfriend and I want you to know that I love you so much. You will live with me. And you will stay with me. Your home isn’t safe okay.” Troye says to me. I throw my hands up in the air we are going to miss our bus.” I say and then slowly walk down the steps. We slowly walk to the bus stop. Extra pills for me today. Then something to eat so I don’t pass out. I then put my shoes on and then walk out the door. Troye carrying my stuff for me. I then feel the pain in my back get worse and worse. “Are you sure you will be fine on the bus?” Troye asks me. I nod and we slowly walk to the bus. I walk on first and Troye right behind me to help me on. He holds my back as I sit down. The pain slowly fading away since I took my pill this morning when I felt the pain. I then close my eyes leaning on troye for support against my back. “You okay?” Troye asks me. I nod and then breathe out. Knowing I have to get through this without looking weak so Tyler doesn't know I am hurt.  The bus stops and more people get on. “Troye!” Tyler yells and then I fling my head to the side. “So where is your abusive dad? He in jail or back and hurting like he should be. Definitely Connor! I hope you are feeling pain. “Tyler says with a smile. “It doesn’t matter anyways leave us alone.” Troye says and then Tyler stands up. “Remember I am still giving you a chance to come back and leave Franta behind!” Tyler yells. Troye sighs. “I am good thanks!” Troye yells and then I rest my head on his shoulder. Someone gets on that I do not want to talk to at the moment. “Connor I have been trying to message you and call you all week why have you not picked up?” Jamie asks me. “I had his phone mainly!” Troye says and he sits down in the seat across from Troye. “I don’t want to talk to you.” I say and hide my face.  I hide so he doesn’t see my face. He almost ruined my relationship with Troye I can’t let that happen. “Look I am sorry. Connor, Troye really. I have no one and I just I don’t know wanted to feel a relationship like you and Troye. It is amazing. I have no one here.” Jamie says. “Should have thought of that before kissing my boyfriend in my house. Even if it wasn’t in my house I would have done something to you. You are lucky I didn’t do anything to you.” Troye says and then takes my hand and holds it. “Now if you would leave him alone! I will leave you alone! He is hurting and you are making it worse.” Troye says and then turns towards me. “You okay? How are you feeling?” Troye asks me. “I am fine.” I say and then close my eyes. I feel a light kiss on my lips. Not hard although I wish it was. More and more people get on. More new people. So it takes longer to get to school. I slowly move my body to get comfortable on Troye’s lap. He plays with my hair. I hear some laughing and some screaming in the back. Troye looks back but, it’s not about us. So he doesn’t worry about it. I close my eyes and feel the pain reach my stomach. I take Troye’s hands and put it on my stomach. “It hurts a little.” I say and he nods. He runs his hand under my shirt and slowly makes circles on my stomach. I sigh as the bus stops and then people stand up. This is going to be one shit day. I know I will feel pain sitting in fucking chairs. “Troye could we go to the office?” I ask him. He nods and he helps me up. “I want to let them know that I am in a lot of pain and if I need to leave the room for a walk or like to sit on the floor or something.” I say and he nods. I slowly walk down the steps. I then feel Troye help me off the last step. Then I feel arms collide with my body and then I am pushed. I close my eyes and put my hands out to stop the fall. Troye’s hand slipping out of my grip on my hand and I fall right to the cement. The pain in my arms and legs and everywhere burst into flames I feel black come into my vision. “Connor.” Troye says and races to my side I feel pain hurt my head. I just lay there in so much pain. Black in my vision. “Connor can you see me or talk to me?” Troye asks worried. I hear Tyler laugh. People gathered around me. I slowly try and move. “I--- I see black.” I stutter out. “Okay lean against me if you can.” Troye says. I try and move and can’t. “Just give me some time to breathe.” I whimper out. “Tyler! I fucking hate you! I will fucking kill you!” Troye yells. “I would like to see you try!” Tyler yells. I grab Troye’s hand. “No please.” I say and he stays. Tyler laughs and walks off. “Is there anything thing I can do?” Jamie asks. “No you already caused enough pain from him leave!” Troye yells and then I hear the pain in his voice. “Troye.” I mumble out. “Don’t cry I will be fine.” I say and then feel the shooting pain in my stomach. “Can you help me up a little?” I ask and he nods. He puts his arms around me and helps me sit up a little. Every little movement hurts. “I think you should go to the hospital. I will call my mom.” Troye says and picks his phone up. “No you will not call your mom. I am fine just give me a minute.” I say and he nods. I put my head down and just breathe. I feel the pain kinda move away. Everyone moves away from me. Some concerned and some just laughing. “I am fine.” I say and then Troye helps me up. I stand the pain still there but, not bad. “Can we head to the office?” I ask and Troye nods. He helps me walk into the school. “One step at a time.” Troye says and we finally make it in. Jamie is right behind us. “Let me take your bags at least.” Jamie says. Troye gives him a glare then hands them off. Troye helps me into the office. “Hi Mr. Mellet and Mr. Franta what can I do for you today?” The office lady asks. “Um well I had a little accident this week since we were off and I have pain sometimes and I was just wondering if I needed to leave the glass or sit somewhere else I could?” I ask and she looks at me. “Yeah of course. I will let your teachers know. What about Troye would you need him there too?” The lady asks. “Yeah if you don’t mind. Like if I have to leave. It helps if someone is here with me.” I say she nods. “Alright I will let your teachers know about this. I am sure they will let you out.” The lady says. “Thank you.” I say and then we leave. We walk to our locker with Jamie close behind. I know Troye is trying hard not to say something when he could be saying rude things. He knows how much I don’t want him too.

“Thanks Jamie.” I say and then Troye takes the backpacks. “Don’t think this fixes anything though.” Troye says and he nods. “Connor I am really sorry though. Same with you Troye. I am really sorry.” Jamie says and then walks off before Troye could say anything. “Well lets just get this day over with.” I say and Troye helps me put my things in the locker. We grab our shit and get ready for the day that comes ahead.

I know Troye wants to help me lots. I had to leave at least once every class. The pain hurt. I had to take some more pills in Foods it was so bad. I was almost in tears. Sure I didn’t tell Troye this. I just didn’t want him to worry. I know it is scary for him. I know it hurts him when I am in pain so I just didn’t bother to tell him. I am such a pain in the ass when I have bad dreams I can’t help it or when I feel the pain. I  then reach the end of the hallways and see Tyler. I then run into the bathroom hoping he didn't see me. I then pull my phone out and text Troye a quick come to the bathroom. Tyler might be here. “Connor I know you are in here!” Tyler says. I keep my feet up on the seat. I then breathe lightly. “Don’t hide fromeme. I want to ask you something.” Tyler says and opens each stall. I message Troye one more time and then turn my phone off. “There you are.” Tyler says and opens the door. “I am not going to hurt you. Knowing you. Troye will be here any minute. I just wanted to ask you something. If you wanted to come to a party this Saturday?” Tyler asks me and then looks at me with his evil eyes. The brown in them making my head hurt. “Why would you invite me?” I ask and then he looks at me. “I am trying to be nice. Troye can come. There will be lots of people who do not hate you. Many new people. You in or not?” Tyler asks. “I have to ask Troye.” I say and then the door opens. “Tyler stay away from him!” Troye yells and then grabs his shirt and holds him away from me. “Mellet calm down I am being nice. I have not touched him. I just asked him if he wants to go to a party.” Tyler says to Troye. “Wait a party why would we want to come?” Troye asks. “I don’t know new people new friends. Look I am trying to be nice. It is Saturday okay. At 5 pm so if you are coming then come. If not then whatever. I am going to class now. If you two decide to come and have fun then do it. I won’t force you. Bye.” Tyler says. I then hear the door open and close.I then breathe out. I didn’t breathe much at all during that.

“That was so weird. Do you want to go?” Troye asks me. I just ignore him. Tyler was nice to me. He didn’t hurt me during any of that. “Baby?” Troye asks and then I shake my head and look at him. “Sure I guess.” I say and then he nods. “I have never been to one so it will be new. As long as I have you.” I say and then get up off the toilet. “Are you in pain?” Troye asks me and pulls me into a hug. “I was now I am not. I just went for a walk and then I saw Tyler and then ran in here hoping he didn’t see me but, he did.” I say and he nods. I just keep him in a hug. After class when school ends then we will be picked up from my mom. I don’t want you to hurt on the bus.” Troye says. I nod and then he slowly walks me back to class. I kiss his lips lightly and go into credit recovery. I failed a couple courses in grade 10 so I am taking courses I can to make sure I graduate. I just sit back into class and go back on the computer working on the work. I sigh knowing this year will be so long I will hate it.

“Okay so see you at the party?” I ask Jamie. “Yeah for sure.” Jamie says and then walks away. Troye comes up behind me and puts his hands around me and then his hands go up my shirt. “Troye?” I ask and then he doesn’t speak. “Jamie is coming to the party?” Troye asks. “Yeah he was invited by Tyler. He doesn’t like Tyler but, he is going anyways to meet more people cause you know we kind of just like left him.” I say and Troye sighs. “He hurt us that’s why.” Troye says. I nod and then grab my things. Troye helps me grab the binder for tonight. “So Saturday is the party?” I ask and Troye nods. “I hope it will be okay. I am not good to crowds. I should be fine by then with my pain. It would have been like more than a week.” I say and Troye nods. We walk to the front of the school getting into the car. I know this week will be painful from my physiotherapy. I know that talking will be scary. I just have to push through it. Then I know I will have fun on Saturday. I hope.

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Guys so I am slowly updating cause I have school and stuff but I can't believe this shitty book has gotten more than 1k reads it's crazy. Thank you guys. It means the world.  *winks* byeeeee