Torn Between Two

Chapter 22

Troye 

"I don't wanna be your boy no more ohhh ohhhh oh ohh oh ohhh. I just wan't see your face at home hommmeeeee hommmeeeemmm." I sing out to Connor slowly. I continue to sing while my eyes shut lightly. I stop singing the song and I keep my eyes closed to listen to Connor's reaction. He doesn't say anything then I hear movement. I open my eyes. "Connor?" I ask worried. I then feel arms around my neck and him closing in the gap. I laugh a little. "You're so good! Like does anyone else listen to you sing? Or have you sung for someone else?" Connor asks me. Breathing in my sent. "No I don't really sing in front of people I just sing in my room when I am upset." I say truthfully. I hate singing in front of people but, I trust Connor. I really do. Even though we just became a thing. "Even if we became a thing today. I trust you." I say. Whatever comes to mind, I will talk about it. But never ever will I tell him about me cutting."What is your emotion right now?" Connor asks letting go and falling back on the bed. "Umm I have to say, happy, sad, very flirty? You?" I ask and turn around to face him. "Well happy, sad? Umm love sick." Connor says and breathes out. "You have this weird effect on me Mellet, it's like happiness comes to me when you touch me, or do anything." Connor says. "Well you have an amazing effect on me as well Franta." I say and he smiles. "Franta." He laughs out. "What were you going to ask me downstairs?" Connor asks propping his head up to look at me. "Umm well it may be like very sad or whatever but, well does your dad drink and like a lot?" I ask and then close my eyes. "Ummm." Connor says and then lays his head back down. He plays with his hands. "Yeah he drinks a lot lately, and it really scares me sometimes. He can finish like a whole case of 18 by himself in like 1 day all together." Connor says and I look at him. Dad issues? Same with me. "Dad issues." I say and then he sits up. "Yeah I didn't want to be rude but, when your dad says boyfriend he didn't seem so happy or whatever, does he not like you completely like even if you were not gay? " Connor asks. Shit should I tell him about me being beaten? No I can't. "Umm well he does hate that I am gay and I should be normal but, if I wasn't gay then I wouldn't be hated so much." I say telling half the truth. Connor he beats me when I do things wrong. When I even go near him or even have any friends over that is not girls. I hate life there. Let me stay with you! I just want to yell that out. I just can't chase him away. "Connor?" I ask and he looks up. "Yeah Tro." Connor says. Tro another cute name. "Umm I want to say thank you." I say and he looks at me waiting for an explanation. "For helping me. Even if it seems like you are not helping me you sure are. To forget certain things." I say and he moves closer to me. "Same goes for you. So many things go through my head and I just forget when you are around." Connor says. "What will we talk about in Mr. Caylen's office tomorrow?" Connor asks and puts his head on my shoulder. "Whatever comes to mind okay?" I say and he nods. He puts his head lower and then lays it on my lap. I put my hands on his chest. "You handsome." I spit out. He laughs. "Thanks Tro. You are too." Connor laughs and then looks at me with his green eyes. "I remember when I first placed my lips on your lips." I say and he smiles. "I do too." Connor says and I lean down to peck his lips. "GUYS DINNER!" Cheryl yells. I nod and stand up. Connor walking slowly with me down the stairs. We sit at the dinner table beside each other. Connor looks at the food and looks down. Maybe he isn't feeling well after getting beaten up. "Umm I only want a little bit." Connor says and then puts some food on his plate not enough to even fill a baby up. I look at him for a minute. Does he starve himself? He has gotten skinnier since Tyler started to bully him but, maybe he just works out? I put some food on my plate. "Well Troye welcome to the family. Anyone who is friends with Connor is a family member to us." Cheryl says. Not a friend. I chuckle a little. Then we eat while we chat about everything. Then a topic is brought up. "So Troye your gay?" Nicola asks. Connor looks at her and gives her a death stare. "Ughhh... yeah." I say nervously. What if this family hates gays. "Excuse me." Connor's dad says and gets up. "Peter!" Cheryl yells and chases after him. I look at Connor and he has his hand on his cheek poking at the food. I put my hand on his thigh and he looks over at me. "I'm sorry." Connor says and slowly moves his chair and starts to walk away. "Yeah our dad is a homophobic man." Brandon says. "We are happy for you though Troye." Dustin says with his girlfriend beside him. "Thanks." I say and I keep looking at the place Connor went. I hear the door close and I know he went outside "Umm." I say and stand up. "Excuse me. Sorry." I say and they all look at me. "That's okay." Nicola says and the rest nod. "Tell your parents thanks for dinner." I say and they all nod. I slowly grab my little coat and an extra sweater. I put my shoes on and I walk out into the cold breeze. The wind nipping at my nose. I hold my coat in my hands and start to walk. I see a path into the back yard. I slowly walk around and open the gate. "Baby?" I call out no answer. I see a swing set just a couple feet away and a tree sitting in front and behind. I walk over there slowly and hear some sniffles. I walk beside the tree and see my boy. "Baby?" I ask and he turns away from me. "Talk to me." I say and he shakes his head. "Go away. I can't right now." Connor says. "Can't what?" I ask and I sit beside him not touching him yet. "I can't deal with my dad anymore Troye! He just ruins everything." Connor says still not facing me. He shivers. Shivers and shivers. I hear sobs escape his lips. "Are you cold?" I ask knowing the answer just wanting him to talk to me.

"No." He snaps. "Babe yes you are." I say and then I stand up and cover him up in the sweater I brought out. Knowing it would be chilly. "Thanks." Connor says and wipes his tears. I move closer to him. "Now." I say and put my arm around his waist and bring him closer to me. "Talk and if you don't i'll figure something out." I say and he looks down. He plays with his fingers and I stop him from doing that and put my hand in his. He starts to play with my fingers. "What do I say?" Connor asks. I think for a second. "Whatever is on your mind. It's practice for tomorrow okay?" I ask and then I stand up. "What are you doing?" He asks. "Shh." I say and then I put my coat up higher and I stand in front of him. "Well Mr. Franta what is on your mind?" I ask in a deep voice. "Nooo don't make me smile." Connor says and hits my hand. "Why not Mr. Franta? Is it bad to smile?" I ask still in a deep voice like Mr. Caylen. "No stop." Connor says and giggles. "It is against the law when someone is going through this." Connor says. "Well sir let me check my handbook to see if there is a law." I say still in a deep voice. I reach into my pocket pretending there is a book in my hand. "Ahh looks like there is no law Mr. Franta so you can smile." I say one last time in a man voice. "Noooo Tro stop." He says and laughs hitting my hand again. I move in front of him. A smile on his lips. "Now that's what I like to see." I say crouching in front of him. The wind taking my hairs on the back of my neck and stand up. "You can't just do that." Connor says and smiles a little. "Make you happy yes I sure can sir." I say in a deeper voice again. I put my hand on his knees. He puts his hands on mine. "Thank you." He says. "Now baby please speak to me." I say and he looks down. "I am tired of living here." Connor says. I move to his side. He puts his head on my shoulder. I put my arm around him to keep the warmth between us. "He makes me feel like shit, this is why I am scared to come out becuase he might hate me even more. I was never his favorite child. He would always comment mean things to me. And." Connor is about to say something. "Never mind." Connor says I want to ask him what he means by and but, I know I shouldn't push something like that. He wouldn't for me so I won't for him.