CHIM- LOVE-HATE

Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

Kimba's POV

"i don't know chez, I like you but like said before I don't want a relationship" I tell her.

"so what, like friends with benefit?" she then asked

"No, Cheryl I've told you. I'm not just after a casual fuck" I said, annoyance showing in my voice.

"So just friends?, coz you're me friends right?" Cheryl says, looking sad and it soften my heart.

Kissing her on her cheek I take both of her hand and hold them in own. "of course I'm your friend"

"You don't want just sex, but you also don't want a relationship, so what do you want?" it came out a bit harsh but I know she didn't mean it.

"I don't know" I sigh

"what do you know Kim, coz you have us in the dark here" she frustratingly runs her little hands through her hair.

"I know I don't wanna lose you as my friend" I once more grab her hands and kiss her knuckles

"So friends?" she says sadly

"I mean, yea" I said even thought I know I want her as more than just friends.

"So we can see other people if we want" she asks, well more tells me and my chest hurts at the sound of this.

"If that's what you want then yea" I let go of her hand as an intent to hide mine that are slowly shaking.

"but is it that what you want kim?" I can hear desperation for an honest answer.

"Cheryl you cant base your life's decisions on what I want" I cant force myself to tell her the truth.

"for fucks sake Kim, its like you want this" she says pointing from me to her " but at the same time you don't" she throws her arms in her air.

"i-I" I start to talk but having no clue what to say.

"its like we're not exclusive, yet we cant see other people" she laughs, a dry laugh tho coz nothing is funny about this whole mess.

"Cheryl you can see others if you want too" I say trying to keep my voice steady.

"well, do you want us to?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

"I- don- I mean.... Well I " great, I just made myself look like an idiot.

"So no then, you don't want us seeing other people! Because I sure as hell don't want you being with anybody else" her voice gets quieter at the end and my chest hurts again, but this time is different. Its as it's filled with love maybe? Love I secretly have for her?

"yo-you don't?" I stuttered.

"god no kim, I don't want- I cant even imagine someone else kissing you, touching you. no no no and no" she says crossing her arms and pouting.

"chez-" I start but she cuts me off by saying "I don't want you kissing other lips. I definitely do not hands that aren't mine touching this" she says running her hands up and down my thigh.

" Don't ya get it Kimba? I want you only for meself, I'm not good at sharing what's mine" she defensibly says

"what's yours? You've claimed me already?" I pull a shock face brining my right hand to my chest to make it more dramatic.

"I mean, yea, no well, I would like to think- you know since you don't want to see other people I though" I smiled at how cute she looks when she rambles and an adorable pout adoring her. "I just ahh, im sorry" she says lowering her face.