Abused

17: Double sided

Josh's phone went off. Two days had come and passed since him and Tyler got 're-acquainted', and Tyler was finally ready to text Josh.

Tyler: Hey Josh

Josh: hi my bean boy

Tyler: we can talk.. but I want to take some time before we hang out again.
Josh:.. okay. Whatever you want.

Tyler: I have to go, though. Seeing Jenna... just wanted to touch base. Ttyl

Josh: I love you

Tyler: opened 6 minutes ago*

Tyler didn't say he loved Josh back. That moment, Josh's mind filled with worries and thoughts. How could he rest knowing he never said I love you back?? Josh began to get teary eyes, as he shook his head with uncertainty. That was the worst feeling ever, uncertainty. It made Josh worry over everything. If he didn't have a situation under control, it would make him nuts. Like when he had to let Tyler go home to his parents that one night, he was uncertain if Tyler would be ok. He wanted to save Tyler sooner than he did, but now he knows it may have been a lost cause.. Tyler probably doesn't even love him back. Why else would he not say it back??

Tyler felt bad for not responding to Josh... he knew it was wrong. He loved Josh but he needed space... he wanted to see Josh but he decided for his own well being he would hold off for a few days longer. Jenna was waiting for Tyler at the lobby, so Tyler scrambled to get his converse on and run out the door and down the elevator. The buttons lit up as Tyler went down. When Tyler got to the lobby, Jenna stood by the main desk.

"Ready to go?"

"Go where? I thought we were just going to hang here.?"

"Nope, I have something to show you. Follow me."

Tyler was anxious to see what Jenna had to show him, so he quickly follows her out to her car. He hopped into the passenger seat as Jenna pulled out of the parking lot and down the busy streets.  Tyler's mind was occupied with thoughts of Josh to pay attention to Jenna's words, he was zoned out.

"You okay Tyler? What you thinkin about?"

"Yeah... I'm okay. Just.. thinking about Josh. As usual... "

Jenna gave Tyler a look then pulled into a parking spot as soon as she could.

"You seem to think about Josh a lot?"

"Yeah.. I have trouble getting him out of my mind."

Jenna smirked.

"Well... maybe I can change that."

She leaned over from the drivers seat and placed her lips on his, grasping his jaw as he placed a hand on her thigh. What was he doing... he was in love with Josh.. not Jenna... was he? Tyler pulled away from Jenna and looked down at his feet.

"Tyler... I love you. I have had feelings for you for way too long and I know your bisexual, so you like women too. I started liking you a few times after we hung out and I can't lie I would kill to be with you. Josh is causing you so much pain... I wouldn't do that to you."

"Josh didn't try to cause me pain.. he was just protecting me. And it's not that I'm mad at him, I'm just overwhelmed and needed space. I was going to call him to come over tomorrow..  but now I don't know if I can face him. Thanks to you. Take me home, now."

Jenna looked embarrassed at herself for kissing Tyler, he clearly didn't appreciate it. He loved Josh and there was nothing she could do about it, so she drove Tyler back to his apartment and let him out.

"Hey, Tyler. I'm sorry... text me please."

Tyler nodded and stormed into the building. He ran as fast as he could to his room, and he dove into his bed with his face buried in his pillow. The tears came... he couldn't hold them back. He wasn't sure what he wanted anymore, he wasn't mad at Jenna he was just confused. Did he love Jenna? Did he love Josh? He couldn't love them both... or at least he couldn't be with them both. He was double sided, and he loved two people with all his heart...  but how would he decide? He couldn't just drop Josh after he saved him and after all they have been through. But he also had feelings for Jenna and he thought it might be best to move on from Josh, maybe it was for the best? Tyler had never been more confused, and the last hard decision he ever made was when he was 8. His father let him choose his punishment, both bad enough to land him in the hospital. His choices were to have his wrist slit, and the other was to be choked. Tyler didn't want to choose, because he didn't want to be punished... he chose to be choked, and thank god he did because little did he know if he chose his wrists, he would have died. Sometimes Tyler wish his father did kill him, he barely wanted be alive. Why was his life so full of pain and confusion? Tyler snapped out of the flashback and cried harder than before. Josh was always in the back of his mind all the time, but Jenna was such an amazing woman and he also had feelings for her. What was he going to do? Right then Tyler had an idea.