Abused

25: Drown the voices

"TYLER!! TYLER!!" Josh let out a horrifying screech at the sight of Tyler, his eyes were red and they stung from the fiery tears erupting from his eyes. Josh reached in and raised Tyler's head from out of the warm bath water. The water was hot, it must not have been long ago, the less time that's gone by the better chance he isn't dead. God... if Tyler didn't wake up Josh would never forgive himself, it was all his fault for yelling at him. Oh no.. his little bean boy. His little bean boy is dead all because Josh yelled at him. He shouldn't have left him alone, after this fight. He tried to kill himself and it was all Josh's fault... now to see if he succeeded. Josh pushed in Tyler's chest, performing mouth to mouth and every type of CPR you could think of. Tyler wasn't budging, so josh felt his pulse. He was alive, and he was breathing ever so slightly. Josh ran to the phone to dial 911, when he heard Tyler coughing. He turned around to see him throwing up water from his lungs and groaning from the pain. He slowly opened his eyes and josh dove over right beside him. 

"Tyler!! Tyler!!" He started shaking and jerking him awake.

"J-osh-sh.." Tyler was so weak he could barely speak.
"I....I.."

"TYLER!! What did you do??? Why would you do this??"

"I... you yelled at me... and... I... you left me all alone to... to... to..." Tyler started wheezing and was short of breath.

"Okay, Tyler. Deep breath in...... and out." Josh was still crying.

"You... I was all alone after you yelled... at .... at me and, and I was all.. all alone. The, the... the voices... I saw my dad in my... my head and and... the voices were screaming.... about my... my, childhood-d.."

Josh felt terrible. He yelled at Tyler, he left him all alone and it even caused terrible flashbacks that triggered voices... he even attempted suicide.

"My little bean boy.... never try to kill yourself again."

"I didn't... I, I didn't try to kill my...myself."

"What....? But, why were you drowning??"

"I was trying to drown... drown out the voices... I, sometimes to... stay alive you gotta... gotta, kill your mind...d."

Josh grinned slightly then held Tyler close. He was naked... but it wasn't like he'd never seen that before. He didn't care, he was just relieved that Tyler was alright. If Tyler didn't make it, Josh wouldn't want to be alive anymore. Josh hugged Tyler and wanted more than anything to kiss him... but he knew he couldn't. It was like dangling a cookie right in front of a toddler, but not letting them have it. They can do nothing more than just stare at it, wanting it badly. Josh helped Tyler up once his breath returned, Josh helped him up and got him dressed. Once Tyler was fully back to normal, he started to break down.

"Josh... I'm sorry..."

"No, no I should be sorry, Tyler. I am the one who snapped, I'm the one who caused your painful flashback.."

Tyler looked at him with a sparkle in his eye.

"And I'm also the one who saved you, or so I thought. If I'm causing you these flashbacks then I didn't truly save you. My goal is for you to forget your past and be loved. And if I can't be the one to love you, Jenna will."

Tyler sucked in his lips and let out a sigh, he was so concerned. He loved Josh, and he thought the answer was Jenna because she was the farthest he could get from his past... but maybe the answer wasn't letting go of all ties from the past... but the fear. He had nothing to worry about anymore, so why couldn't he be with Josh again? Maybe he just didn't like the fact of going back to things. He did love Jenna, but Josh would always be the one he would die for. The one he would spent eternities with, the one he truly loved.

"So... I have some good news bud." Josh finally let his voice erupt the deafening silence.

"What's that..?"

"While me and Debby were out... she told me she would be sending us on tour soon!"

"WHAT?? Josh, that's amazing!! I can't believe it... are you for real??" Tyler could hardly believe it, he was very excited to see the world he never got to when he was a child.

"Yes!! We have a meeting with Debby tomorrow and she will give us all the detail."

"Love you, Joshyyyy!! Thanks best fren!"

"Love ya too man, my lil bean boy!"