Abused

16: one step closer

On the 4th floor was Tyler and Josh, in Tyler's comfy apartment. Josh on top of Tyler, slowly kissing Tyler's neck and passionately leaving trails from his tongue down Tyler's neck. The heat was rising, they haven't seen each other in so long that they couldn't help themselves from getting close as soon as possible, knowing they hadn't been able to kiss each other for 4 months. God, it was great. Make up make outs were the bestest. Josh craved Tyler's lips for so long he almost forgot what they tasted like... like not eating pizza for 4 months then finally getting a taste of it again. He couldn't stop.

Tyler and Josh had a great night together, but they still didn't know what they were going to do next, would Tyler just drop everything he worked for and go back to Josh? Are they even dating again? Would Josh move in with Tyler? Would they even live together? Would Josh just go home and they went back to not talking? Tyler or Josh couldn't be sure of that.

"Ty?"

"Yeah Josh?"

"What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know.."

"Do you love me?"

"What?? Of course.."

"Then come back with me. Leave this place, I'll take care of you."

"Josh... I don't know. I've gotten so many things and- there's this girl.."

"Girl??? Tyler... nononono. No. You don't love this girl, do you? You can't just hook up with me again and tell me you love another woman, I thought we were together again, and-"

"Josh!! No, I'm not in love with her... she's a friend. She's been here for me when you weren't, and-"

"It's not my fault!! It isn't my fault I couldn't be here for you, I was protecting you! It's not my fault you ran away, Tyler!"

"I never said it was!! But my point is I can not just pic up and leave her, we have gotten close and I can't just move away again! I've got things to take care of, and I'm not sure I want to rush this!!"

"What do you mean, rush this??!! We were already together, Tyler! We lived together, we did everything together we shared a bed we had sex we kissed we cuddled we did all these things and your worried about rushing into it??"

"Josh, you left me for 4 months and we basically disappeared from each other and it's almost like you never even existed, we didn't talk at all! You can't expect to just waltz back into my life and pretend nothing happened, I know it's not your fault but this might need to take time!"

Josh looked broken, all he wanted was for things to be Normal again but Tyler wanted to take things slow. Josh feared that Tyler would develop feelings for this woman he's friends with.. he was bisexual and it was a possibility... if he lost Tyler again he would be heartbroken. He sighed, and took a deep breath.

"Tyler... I'm sorry. I love you... and I will wait as long as you want. I'll wait for eternities if I have to.. I'll wait forever, as long as you feel comfortable with us. Please forgive me... again.."

"Josh. I think you should leave.."

"No, Tyler please!! I haven't seen you for 4 months and I can't bare to leave you again... I feel like we're wasting parts of our lives we could be spending together and I want to cherish you every single second I can.. I fucking love you."

"Josh, I said. I. Think. You. Should. Leave."

Tyler's eyes got a tad teary as he held back his tears, and got slight anxiety. He felt over whelmed, him and josh haven't seen each other in 4 months and all at once they found each other and already slept together and everything. It was too much for one day, and Tyler couldn't handle it all. Just like when he was a child.. some nights his father would punish him too much in one night and he'd bleed so much that his skin went whiter than snow and his eyes sunk in, he'd pass out in a pool of his own blood and wouldn't wake up for hours. When he'd wake up, his arms and thighs would sting so bad that he would cry as loud as possible to drown out everything. Tyler snapped out of the flashback and began to sob. Josh was sobbing, too. He didn't want to leave Tyler, but he didn't want to upset him any more as he was clearly upset too. He knew Tyler loved him, so he gave him some space.

"Okay... I'm sorry. But, give me your number. Please. I can't go another night knowing I can't contact you if something was wrong. Not knowing, and being uncertain of what's happening. Please... I will let you text me first.. when your ready.. I just want to make sure I have it. Just in case..."

"Of course, Josh... I'll text you when I feel better. I want you... i need you... I just need a little space. Everything's all happening so fast, and I'm getting overwhelmed. I'll text you, i promise. Just let me call Jenna and have the night... I will text you."

Josh nodded in agreement, lowkey not liking the fact Tyler and Jenna were going to be talking. If him and Jenna end up liking each other Josh wouldn't forgive himself for letting Tyler go in the first place. Tyler lead Josh to the door and opened it for him to step out of the small apartment on floor 4. As Josh stepped into the narrow hallway, Tyler grabbed his waist and pulled him in for a soft kiss before letting him go and shutting the door behind him. Josh was one step further to being in Tyler's life again, after 4 long months.

Josh laid in bed, feeling slightly more secure that he's found Tyler and at least knows that he's okay. He had the strongest urge and desire to pick up his phone and text Tyler, but he wanted to make sure he got the space he needed. Josh resisted, and stared at his ceiling as usual. He knew he should be grateful to be in touch and know Tyler was okay and that it was one step closer to being with him again then he was before, but he wasn't satisfied. He wouldn't be satisfied until Tyler was in his arms every night, and woke him up with forehead kisses every morning.