Abused

40: Its time

"daddy!" Screamed Josh, Tyler's little girl.
"Yes my little princess?"

Josh, Tyler's little girl, was only 4 years old. Tyler was such an amazing father to her, he taught her to ride a bicycle, taught her to walk, heard her first words, and was always there for their daughter. Him and Jenna were making good money and had enough to move out of that old apartment. Tyler didn't want to, though. It was filled with memories with josh when they were best friends and Josh's drums were still untouched since Josh last touched them. He didn't want them to be disturbed, Josh put them there for a reason and he intended on never ever moving them or touching them. Jenna finally agreed to stay in the apartment, because it meant a lot to Tyler.

"Why are those drums always there?"

"Because, my angel. They belonged to someone I loved very very much, and he's in heaven now."

"What's heaven, daddy?"

"Well my princess, heaven is a place people go after they are done living. When you are done living your life, you float up to the clouds and live in a place wayyyyy more sick than earth."

"Is it... sick as frick?" The small child giggles.

"Yes. Sick as FRICK!" Tyler said down to his little girl.

The little girl smiled, and skipped off to play with her dolls. Jenna was out shopping for groceries, and Tyler went to lay down for a bit. He took off his shirt, and layed down on his and Jenna's bed. Tyler's schizophrenia was still there, and it was the same as it was last year. And the year before. Is been 5 years since Josh died. Five. Years. It felt like just yesterday Josh was in Tyler's arms, and it made Tyler feel so guilty. He knew he had Jenna to be thankful for, but he still couldn't help but wish that Josh was there by his side... he was in love with a dead man. The voices would always haunt him about his other child, too. Tyler's daughter, Josh jr, had no clue that she had a sister. Tyler didn't want her to worry or be sad, so they kept it a secret. The voices would say things at night, like it's all your fault. First you let the man you love die, then your own daughter? How incompetent could you be?? How could you let so many people you love just die? You could have taken that bullet for Josh. You could have prevented this child's death. It's all your fault. Tyler would quarrel with the night, and he often felt so vulnerable and hopeless. He just wanted it all to end, what kind of a father was he? He was a great father, but in his own mind he though he wasn't. He was just s depressed, schizophrenic, crazy, suicidal, death prone man. He prayed it didn't run in his genes, he didn't want his little girl to suffer. He already lost one of his babies. They had to pick out a name for their stillborn child, even thought it never got the chance to live. The name picked for the gravestone of their unborn baby girl was Angel. They called her angel, because she was an angel now. How fitting. But aside from all of the bad things happening in Tyler's life and mind, he needed to keep his head up. He had been thinking a lot about Jenna. They had a child, they had a home, they had a family.. but they weren't married yet. Tyler didn't want to loose anybody else, so before anything happened to Jenna he wanted to make his move fast. He was afraid that if he procrastinated, the same thing that happened to Josh would happen. He had to learn the hard way that you shouldn't wait to take action, because he did that with josh. Now josh had to die thinking Tyler was over him.., even though he wasn't. He had the ring hidden in his underwear drawer, and he was so nervous. The fear of being rejected consumed him, and he got anxiety just thinking about it. He didn't want to loose Jenna before he got a chance to, even though nothing should happen. But that's exactly what happened with josh. He never thought Josh was going to die any time soon. Before anything bad had the chance to take Jenna from his grip. He would take Jenna out tonight, they had been planning this date for a few weeks now. He was going to make sure he didn't chicken out.

It was 5:57pm and Tyler was getting ready for dinner with Jenna. He was taking her somewhere fancy, so he made sure he looked good just for Jenna. He sprayed cologne, he tied his tie and he combed his fluffy hair. He was ready to go, and Jenna was looking amazing. Her silky blonde hair was curled at the tips of her high ponytail, and her bangs framed her well structured face. She was wearing a black dress that hugged her slim figure and her shoes made her almost as tall as Tyler. He felt like he had heart eyes. He walked over to her and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Ready my love?" Tyler whispered.

"Yes. Let's go."

Tyler linked arms with Jenna and Waltzed her to the front door. The keys in his hand, and the ring in his pocket, he greeted his younger sister Madison at the door who was there to babysit Josh Junior for a little while until Jenna and Tyler got home. The two got in the car, and sped off to the restaurant together.

"Jenna?" Tyler was finally ready to ask. It took the whole main course for him to get the guts to ask, but he finally managed.

"Yes, Ty?"

"There's something I've been wanting to talk about for a long time now.."

"Oh? Okay, well.. go ahead."

Tyler stood up and walked to Jenna's side. The look in her eyes was timeless, she looked so happy and so beautiful at the same time. Tyler was always good with words, but not in situations like these.

"J-Jenna, would... will you make me the happiest m-man alive... and become Mrs. Jenna Joseph..?" Tyler wished he could have said more, but that's all he could force out of his anxious mouth. He swallows hard, and that's when he burst into tears. He sobbed so loud that the whole restaurant stared at him. Jenna looked so confused, and before she was able to say yes, Tyler ran into the men's room.