Abused

76: Forgivness

It was time. Josh had to take control, how else would this work? Josh was going crazy without Tyler... the real Tyler... in his arms. He needed Tyler more than any drug, he craved Tyler more than any food. This was something he must do to get his Ty back.... if it will ever be the same. It was worth a shot. Josh crept around the corner into the living room where he found Tyler, staring out the window. He didn't want to startle him, so he gently sighed so Tyler would know he was present.

"Hey, Ty."

He stared out the window. His empty eyes traced the space between them as he slowly looked back at Josh. He just looked, waiting for the words to leak out of his mouth and seep into every inch of Tyler's brain.

"I wanted to talk... about... everything,"

"You can't. It's impossible."

"Not... not literally. But everything that's going on."

"Go ahead."

"O-okay... well, umm... firstly, I'm so sorry, Ty-"

"SORRY??"

Tyler threw his crutches across the room with full force and fell to the ground, breaking the picture of Jolie on the wall to a million pieces.

"MY LIFE. JOSH, MY GODDAMN LIFE. THIS IS ALL IMPACTING ME. EVERY SINGLE THING THATS HAPPENED. I CANT FUCKING HANDLE IT!"

Tyler screamed so loud, Josh's ears bled.

"YOUR A GOD DAMN HOME WRECKER!"

Josh couldn't handle Tyler's harsh words, he needed to cool down for a minute. He bolted out the front door and sat on the steps, breathing in and out deeply. How could Tyler do this... how come he can't forgive Josh? A silent tear strolled down his face, and he sobbed on the front porch of their small house in Columbus Ohio. It was silent. The day was warm. 18 degrees, not hot but not cold. His mocha eyes focused on the trees. His sobs slowed down as his mind drifted to the underworld of thought. That's when he snapped back into reality. Sobs echoed in his ears, but they were not his own. Long hard whales of pain shattered the sound waves travelling through Josh's ears. Tyler. Josh slowly walked back inside to peak around the corner. Tyler, sitting alone in the middle of the floor sobbing. His grey sweatpants pooled with tears and his crutches out of his reach. Josh bent over by Tyler's side and gently placed a hand on his back.

"Ty..?"

"I....i thought you left me." Tyler's voice crackling with every word, he was emotionally weak.

"I thought... I thought I was stuck. Trapped here.." he sobbed.

"What... Ty.. no no.."

"I can't walk on my own... my crutches are over there... I couldn't reach them... you left.... I thought I was alone. I thought I was.... trapped here."

His words broke Josh's heart, like the portrait of Jolie shattered on the ground by Tyler's crutches.

"Tyler... I would never leave you."

"Why not? I've said not a word to you for days. Almost a week. I've screamed at you. I haven't kissed you,  haven't called you mine, haven't acknowledged my wedding ring or anything. Why wouldn't you leave?" Tyler, still sobbing, creates a hand gesture while speaking through his cries. Josh squinted out a tear.

"Because. Love is putting others needs before your own. I knew you needed time... I was afraid of how much time... but I know you. And I love you."

Tyler wiped his eyes.

"But... you still did this to me."

"Yes... if I could write a thousand paragraphs on how sorry I was, I'd still write more. I regret every second of what I did..."

"Me too.."

"Tyler. I don't love Brendon. I never did.... in fact, I hate that man."

"You must have felt something... why else would you... do what you did.... with him?"

"Your right, Tyler."

"W...what..?"

"I did feel something. Grief. Sorrow. Pain. I missed you. I took my love for you out on him. I couldn't snuggle you. I couldn't kiss you. I couldn't do anything with you.... so I let myself do it with someone else. I thought of you the whole time... I know that sounds messed up and twisted but it's true."

Tyler looks at the clock then back at josh.

"Pass me my crutches?"