Abused

33: Dear Jenna

Tyler opened the drawer and dove in trying to find his anti-depressants. Jenna kept them in her drawer, because she didn't trust Tyler with them. She had every reason not to... especially knowing what Tyler was going right now. Tyler looked around the corner one last time to see the empty drum set sitting silent collecting dust, and said goodbye to them. He said goodbye to the kitchen, he opened the door and breathed in the air. He said goodbye to the air, he said goodbye to the living room, he said goodbye to Jenna and he said goodbye to life. He fumbled a piece of old paper out of the notebook he had and found a pen. His tears dropped into the page, making it difficult to read the words as the ink spread through the paper with the tears.

Jenna,

My love. I loved you ever since I've met you. You were such an amazing friend when josh wasn't there for me, you were an amazing girlfriend letting me still be friends with him even knowing our history. You were amazing to me, and for that I owe you my life. Unfortunately, by the time your reading this I'll have no life to owe you. I'm in the bathroom, so please don't open the door. It's too late, so don't bother trying to save me. If you really loved me you wouldn't try to save me.. I don't want to be here. Call the ambulance, have them pick me up. I don't want a funeral... and it's not like I have anyone who would come anyway. Your the only person in this world I had left. I am so sorry to do this to you, I know I hurt you by doing this. If you could find it in your beautiful heart to forgive me... that would make me so happy.

For the last time,
Tyler<3

Tyler set the piece of damp paper on the bedside table where Jenna was sure to see it. Tyler kissed Jenna's forehead gently, and a tear landed on the fabric of her pyjamas as it made its way through each and every thread. Tyler glanced over at Josh's drum set and didn't touch it. He left it in the very position Josh had left it, and he made his way back to the bathroom for the last time. Crying, Tyler looked in the mirror and almost felt happy about what he was going to do. The first time he had felt happy... moments before suicide. Tyler held the many pills in his palm, and stared at them for a minute. This was the last time he could reconsider... because after this there was no going back. Tyler made his choice, he just wanted to be with Josh again. That's all he wanted... so he held his hand up to his mouth and tilted his head back. With his mouth open, he took a mouthful of pills and swallowed them all at once with a gulp of grubby tap water. That was it... no going back now. Tyler lied down in the bathtub filled with cold cold water and the bottle in his hand, now empty. He thought about what he would do when he laid eyes on Josh again, in the afterlife. What if there was no afterlife? Whatever there was after, it would still be better than I life on earth without Joshua Dun. Tyler stared at the ceiling until his eyes grew heavy. He felt like he was going to fall asleep, just like he would any regular night... except when he closed his eyes, they would never open again.