Abused

67: Inject

The numbness was something nobody could stand. Josh felt trapped. His ribs caged his heart, his skull caged his mind and his body caged his soul. He was trapped, and there was nothing he could do about it. He laid there numb beside Brendon who was fast asleep. What has Josh done? He wanted to scream- he couldn't wake the hotel. He wanted to cry- the tears just wouldn't come out. He stared at the ceiling and clawed at his hair, ripping it and tearing at his skin. Everyone always thought Tyler had problems.. and he did... but Josh has problems too. Josh has a Blurryface too. Brendon yawned, releasing the tired. Inhale: awake. Exhale: Aware. He sits up, and touches Josh's thigh. It's only 7:30, and he can't go back to the hospital yet. Josh tugs away, and that's when it happened. The tears he couldn't get out, they started flowing like a river. A river that Josh hoped would sweep him away into the cold sea where he would never be seen or heard from again. Isolation sounds okay. He tasted salt. The only sense he seemed to have.

"What's wrong babe?"

"DONT call me that."

"What?"

"I have a damn husband, stay away from me!" Josh seemed scared. Maybe not of Brendon, but of himself and what he's done.

"Your the one who came here. You LET this happen."

"STOP NOW BRENDON!" Josh snapped. He snapped as if he was climbing the tallest of trees and the branch below him couldn't hold up. He fell. He fell and he collapsed onto the cold cold ground below.

"Why so tense honey?"

Josh's blood boiled. He was steaming, his fists clenched until his fingernails cut his palms. Blood. He gritted his teeth until there was nothing left of them. More blood. Drip drop. He glared at Brendon with  darkness eroding from his eyes from deep within his soul.

"I'm leaving."

Brendon grabbed his arm. Josh never saw this side of Brendon, just last night he was so supportive and loving.

"No. Follow me." Brendon guided Josh down the naturally lit hallway into the living room.

"What are you doing?!" Spat Josh.

"Just wait."

Brendon pulled out a drawer in the small side table and grabbed a couple of plastic ziplock baggies, setting them on the table. Drugs.

"W-what are you doing?"

Josh was terrified.

"Your so tense and depressed."

"And..?"

"These will help. I took some last night while you were asleep."

That explains his mood change..  he didn't even seem himself. Who was he? Who was Tyler? Josh sat down beside Brendon. Why? Who knows. An urge. Fate.

"But... drugs are bad for you."

"If you don't use em right."

"Oh.."

Brendon pulled out a syringe looking thing... a needle?

"Put this in your arm."

"What?? Are you nuts??"

"No, it's going to make you feel better and you'll feel okay about your worries."

"But...."

"It's up to you buuut..."

What's the pain in trying? If it'll make Josh feel okay... or really, feel ANYTHING... he would be willing to try. Just this once... he took the needle from Brendon's grip and touched the tip to his arm. Not enough to puncture the skin, but just enough to push it down a bit. Was he really going to do this? He looked at Brendon.

"Do it. You'll feel so good."

Josh looked back at his arm and squinted. He pushed a little harder until finally the needle poked a little hole and went into his blood flow. He slowly pushed on the end and injected the drug into him. Josh was so innocent, he had never done anything so bad... other than cheat on Tyler. He swallowed hard, struggling to do so because his mouth was dry as cotton. His vision turned colourful and everything was so pretty. He tasted candle wax. He saw pretty words and pictured float around the room, and he felt amazing. At least he thought he did.. but who cares if it is just an illusion? If he felt it, that's all that mattered.

"It's so prettyyy ahaha." Josh said goofily. Brendon rolled a joint and handed it to Josh. He put the end of the joint in between his dry cracked lips. The Inhale burned his throat more than alcohol. It's like he could feel the smoke trail into his lungs. His chest sizzled. He held his breath for a few moments and exhaled the poison into the air. It was so swirly and pretty. Josh loved pretty things. Like Tyler.

"I gotta get goon back to my husband hahahaaa." Josh was loopy. His words slurred and his vision impaired.

"See ya later pallll." Brendon wheezed. He'd smoked for a while now, he was used to it. Josh may have been high, but he knew he was doing something wrong deep down under the layers of scandal and sin. They were like blankets, keeping him warm but no matter how safe you feel under them your not really safe. He left Brendon's house and walked to the Hospital.