Abused

62: insomniac like

He couldn't wait for the results to come back. Anther cat-scan... probably the same results as last time but... he prayed. Prove me wrong.

It was a cool day, not too cool. Not cool enough that your breathe was visible... but not warm enough you wouldn't get the occasional chill. It almost seemed like a super natural feeling. Brendon's docs made the crispest noice of boots on pavement in the silence in the park. The only noise to be heard was the buzzing of traffic in the far distance.. it sounded apocalyptic almost. It was great. That mixed with daydream in blue playing on low volume. It was beautiful. Josh stared at his vans as they grazed the ground, creating a scraping noise between the pavement and his shoes.

"Pick up your feet when you walk, man."

"Sorry dude.."

"Haha it's cool."

" I've just been so..."

"I understand.."

"No, you don't.. you could never understand until it happened to you."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah."

The two kept walking.  Josh sat on a bench as they walked by it, and Brendon sat beside him. He noticed Josh's back jerk slightly with his hands in his palms.

"It's okay... shhhhhh, it'll be okay."

Brendon comforted Josh, and he gave him some advice on how to cope with life. Josh loved it.

"Brendon.... your the only guy who really-"

"Gets it?" They day in unison as looked each other in the eye. They were getting oddly close.

"Yeah.... gets it."

Brendon leaned in closer to Josh's c major lips (if you read forest fic you'll get that) and pressed his gently against Josh's. You'd think Josh would pull away and not participate in this kiss... but for some strange reason he was not sure of, he kissed Brendon back. It was so wrong... but it felt so okay. That's when it hit him. What am I doing?? Josh pulled away quick pushing Brendon slightly.

"What... what are-"

"I'm sorry.." Brendon whispers.

"No... I, I gotta go..." josh stood up and ran as fast as he could in the direction of the hospital, leaving Brendon all alone on this chilly day in the silent park, watching him as he got smaller and smaller looking the further away he ran.

What have I done? Why did I kiss back? I must feel something if I kissed back? No no no.... I can't have feelings for Brendon, I'm married. I love Tyler... not Brendon. Tyler. Tyler... brendo- TYLER!

It was a battle. A war that was waged behind his face and above his throat. An internal war that he'd never ever escape. His temple throbbed and a pain shot like a spear through it. He had a migraine. Maybe he could sleep it through... maybe he'd forget it in the morning. But he was like an insomniac... it's not exactly easy for insomniacs to rest.