Abused

31: prisoner

There were probably 50 people there, all dressed in black. Tyler could barely be in the room, all of Josh's family and friends. The only person there he really knew was Debby and Jenna, but he didn't care. He just sat beside the casket, staring at the floor with an empty feeling. It wasn't completely empty, it just felt empty. It was really filled with grief, wonder, anger, sadness and hopelessness. What was Tyler without Josh? Nothing. He was just a man who had been abused his whole life who only had Josh. Josh was his world, he was all Tyler had. Tyler didn't sleep at all ever since what had happened to Josh, he had to witness his best friend... more than that... get killed. It was so realistic in his mind, he could picture it crystal clear all over again.

The crowd was going wild, and screams broke out through the population.  I was rapping the opening for heavydirtysoul and life seemed to be lifted off my shoulder. The crowd was loving me and Josh, and josh just finished doing his signature backflip. He looked so fricken hot. I noticed that some strange screams were happening, and they didn't seem to be the screams of cheering. Josh turned around to see the what was going on because he cared. He cared so much about everyone, such a sweet boy. Before I know it, my ears started ringing. A really really loud bang filled the room, and I was a little confused. I looked down at my white tank top to see blood all over me, and Josh fell backwards to the ground. Someone had shot right through his brain, the blood splattered all over me and he lied there lifelessly in a pool of dark red liquid...  I started to cry in front of thousands of my fans, and ran over to the man I love, not caring that I was in my hands and knees in a pool of his blood. I pulled josh close with no response from him, no matter how many times I screamed his name or shook him to wake up. The security ran to help us and someone called the ambulance. The crowd started to scream in fear and bawl their eyes out , and it was too much for me to handle. The crowd, Josh's blood, the security yelling. I just sat there, holding Josh close to my chest and didn't move. I didn't care that the security yelled for me to get off, i wouldn't budge from Josh's side. Finally the ambulance arrived and they pried me off of him so they could load him into the stretcher. There was no rush, the shot killed him instantly.

Tyler snapped out of it with tears streaking down his cheeks and Jenna holding his hand. He didn't even love Jenna anymore, all he could think about is how much he loved Josh... but He died thinking Tyler moved on. He never got the chance to tell Josh he still loved him, and he never got the chance to kiss him one last time. Josh died thinking that Tyler didn't love him.. and it was all Tyler's fault for not saying it sooner. The police were still investigating who did it, and Tyler prayed that whoever killed the man he loved suffered a long painful death. Josh didn't deserve to die so young. He was an amazing boy, and amazing brother, and amazing boyfriend, an amazing best friend and just an amazing human. What did Josh do- what did Tyler do to deserve this? Josh was so talented... all that talent just gone to waste. Tyler flinched his hand away from Jenna's and buried his face into his palms. The scary thing was, that you could never ever escape your kind. No matter what you do, no matter where you go. Your mind is a prison and your conscience was the prisoner. You could never ever leave, once you fall into the pit it's a death sentence: eternal and forever. Tyler's mind was so overwhelmed with so many different thoughts and memories and wishes and fears and more thoughts that were impossible to escape from. He was trapped there forever and ever. He was a prisoner.

It was 2:67 am the night of the funeral, only 7 hours after it ended. Tyler knew it was official, the funeral was done. He couldn't even imaging a world without Josh in it, he could never love again. Josh was right there the whole time, Tyler could have gotten back together with him at any time. But he didn't. He waited until it was too late, and this is the price he paid. He could never sleep anymore, not without Josh right there by his side or at least always there to be able to call him early in the morning when he felt depressed or had anxiety. It was such a strange thing, Josh was right there, cuddling up to Tyler's bare chest just the night before it happened... and even performing on stage with him right by his side. And just like that, he was gone. Faster than Tyler could comprehend what had happened, Tyler only saw Josh's blood all over him. To be covered in blood was something Tyler grew up with... but being covered in the blood of his true love was something he could never look past. He sat alone in his bed, all night. Jenna was laying right next to him.. but she didn't make Tyler feel even an ounce of love. He loved her before, but now that Josh had been taken from him, he could never feel love. Not only was Josh taken from him, but so was his emotion. He felt numb, and when he didn't feel numb he was just in pain... but he'd rather feel pain then nothing at all.

Knock knock knock

The door was knocked on. Tyler couldn't care less about who was at the door unless it was Josh... but it's not like that was possible. Josh didn't even have blood anymore. He was six feet under the soil in a wooden box, cold, rotting away. That scared Tyler, Josh was so beautiful and had the most gorgeous smile... that wouldn't last long with maggots eating away at his rotted body and his gorgeous face would be nothing but bone soon. He wouldn't even be recognizable. Tyler wondered if it was scary. To be six feet under ground with your body melting away every second... but that didn't sound too bad to Tyler. Hidden away from your worried under ground, and letting your worthless self just slowly disappear. He slowly climbed out of bed, not like he'd gotten any sleep anyway, and slowly twisted the door handle to see two police officers standing at the door.

"Tyler, may we speak to you, please."

"Yes.... umh.. sure."

"Tyler, this may be hard for you to take in."

"W-what do you mean.. sir..?"

"Tyler... we found out who killed Joshua."

Tyler froze. He swore, when he found out who did this to Josh he was going to find them. And kill them.

"Tyler.... it was Kelly, your mother."

Tyler's world spun, he felt like a mad man. The ground seemed to tremble as did his knees, the world spun faster and faster and faster until Tyler felt so dizzy that he couldn't stand. He fell to the ground, knees down, and his tears wetted the pavement below him. The police officers stood him up and brought him inside. The told him the details of how she got in, how she did it and what they would do with her now. They assured Tyler that she would be locked in prison for life and would be there until the day she died... which Tyler hoped was soon. He hoped that the evil witch would feel her blood boil and feel her heart rip Into pieces and feel her lungs collapse. He prayed that she went to hell for eternity. Tyler let the cops leave as he rolled from the couch onto the cold hard ground. He Lied there staring at the ceiling, choking back his sobs and ugly crying harshly. Josh was gone for good, and he was never ever coming back.