Lost in our imagination (The Vamps FanFiction)

82 - I Forgot...

July 2014

Livi's P.O.V

"James" I whispered trying to wake him up. He just mumbled and rolled over again, "James please wake up."

"What's up" he mumbled rubbing his eyes.

"James, please can we go somewhere... I don't care where" I said getting up and pulling a hoodie on.

"Are you alright?" He asked sitting up.

"I just need to get some air, away from here..." I mumbled putting my head in my hands.

"Don't worry, come on let's go to the car" he said grabbing a hoodie and some shoes and we quietly walked out to the car. We got in and James started to drive. I had no clue where but I didn't care. Maybe James was right, maybe I'm not ready to be in part of a real family again. I'm so used to it being me and Katie as a family, having parents isn't something I've had since I was 12!

"Where are we?" I quietly asked as he pulled the car to a stop.

"Remember on our first date, I said I wanted to take you to the beach at home I loved?" He said getting out the car.

"Yeah" I nodded as he sat on the bonnet of his car.

"Well this is it" he said as I pointed to it and I smiled.

"I'm going to walk" I said nodding to the beach and he nodded. I walked along the beach thinking about everything. I wanted more than anything to be part of James' family, and his family are here, letting me in yet I still run away..... I wandered along the edge of the sea before going back from it and sitting on the grassy hill. I don't know what's wrong with me, all these people are giving me more than I've ever deserved.

"Hey, are you alright?" I heard James asked and I looked up.

"I don't know" I shrugged as James sat down by me.

"What's up? Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, well, health wise yes."

"I'm worried about you, has something happened?" He said putting his arm round me.

"I think you were right..." I mumbled in to his chest.

"Right? About what?"

"About being uncomfortable here" I said getting up while putting my hands on my head.

"I'm sorry, my family can be a bit overwhelming, I'll tell them to tone it down."

"No, it's not your family, they are sweet and lovely, they are pretty perfect!"

"We're not perfect" he laughed, "Nowhere near, they just want to impress you."

"They don't need to impress me."

"I know, they just want you to feel like family."

"That's the problem!"

"What is?"

"I forgot James!"

"Forgot what?"

"I forgot what it was like to have a family, to have parents that are there for you and love you, and do everything your parents have done this weekend, having a sister or brother wasn't ever going to be an option in my house, you have a beautiful family and it just makes me remember everything I lost" I said as I could feel tears coming in to my eyes.

"Livi, I'm sorry..."

"No, I just, sure my parents were amazing to me, but... I just wished I had lost them in a better way."