Lost in our imagination (The Vamps FanFiction)

85 - I Need A Break

July 2014

Katie P.O.V

"A warning, that's all your giving me?" I asked Mrs Brown. I was in her office yet again.

"Yes Katie, why is that a problem?"

"Yeah it is, I've only attended about 50% of my classes since I've been here, I've punched a student, I smashed one of the mirrors in your dance studio and I've lost count of the amount of times I have arguments with teachers. I think you should be doing more than just giving me a warning!"

"But that's all you deserve" she replied.

"Bullshit!"

"Katie, language!"

"Sorry but seriously miss there is no way that I should still be allowed to attend the academy, I've had numerous warning already."

"Nothing you've done is serious enough to jeopardize your place here."

"Well what do I have to do for you to kick me out?" I shouted.

"Why would you want us to kick you out?"

"Don't you get it, when I first found out that I would be attending this academy I was so excited to come here and have this new experience. It was like some kind of dream and for the first few weeks it was great but then it went down hill and lets just say that maybe it would have been better if it stayed a dream instead of becoming a reality. My friends came to visit but after they left I suddenly realised how lonely I am here and in all honesty I just want to go back home. I don't care about dance anymore, I don't care about doing things for myself that will help me in the future. I hate it here and I just want to go back to England, back to my home with my friends because I would much rather be there than here."

"Katie I know this must be hard for you and I understand t.."

"You dont though, you wont ever understand how hard this is because doing something like this all on your own is terrifying and unless you've experienced it yourself you cant possibly understand what its like" I snapped.

"Well if you hate it here so much then why don't you just leave?"

"Because I would feel guilty for throwing away the scholarship whereas if I get kicked out its a different matter."

"I'm sorry Katie but there is no way we are taking away your place."

"Why not?"

"Because you have amazing potential and we believe you could do well."

"That shouldn't matter."

"Well it does so I'm sorry Katie but looks like your just going to have to deal with it."

Without replying I gathered my things before walking out of her office and back across campus towards my shared apartment.

The past few weeks have been pretty uneventful and I was just glad that today was the last day before we break up for summer. I haven't been attending classes as per usual and I spend most of my time in the apartment or at the beach. I haven't really spoken to Jake because after what happened he ignored me for a while, and then when he did start talking to me again there has been multiple times where I've seen him and he's called my name but I just ignore it and walk off. I was stupid enough to believe that he could be my only friend here but as soon as he started talking shit about the boys there was no way I was ever going to forgive him. I've spoken to Livi about the whole lying about going to England situation and she understood that I just needed an excuse to have time off so I could settle in and things like that, I was just happy that she wasn't mad at me.

***

When I got back to the apartment Sophie wasn't in but there's no surprise there. I put my bag beside my bed before putting my phone in the docking station and playing my music on full blast. I sat down on my bed and tried to think of ways to get me kicked out of the academy because it seems all my other attempts have failed.

About 10 minutes later I still hadn't thought of anything and just as I was about to head back to Mrs browns office to try and reason with her my music stopped playing and Livi's name flashed on the screen requesting Face Time.

"Hey Livi" I said to her once her face appeared on my phone screen.

"Katie, I'm so sorry I didn't call yesterday" she replied.

"Its fine, you had that show case thing right."

"Yeah, how did you know about that?"

"James told me, anyways how was it?"

"It was okay I guess, just like any other dance performance but the boys came to watch when I thought they couldn't make it so that was good."

"How are things over there?" she added.

"Well...not good."

"Why not?"

"I cant do it anymore Livi" I sighed.

"What do you mean you cant do it anymore?"

"I cant just pretend that I'm happy here when I'm not, I know that I came here to do dance but I hate it. I'm not even enjoying my classes because I'm used to having classes with you. I'm used to doing everything with you guys and I thought it was going to be easy to do this myself but it not, its the hardest thing to do and its made me realise that I need to be with you and the boys to be happy, its not even about dance anymore."

"Woah Katie, what happened? You were fine just a few weeks ago."

"I know but then I guess I just became really home sick and its not as if I have anyone here who can help me overcome it. I just really miss England and I really miss you and all the other and I just, I don't know what to do."

"Katie everything's going to be okay, you'll be fine trust me but you cant just give up now. You've worked so hard for this and this phase will pass."

"Will it though? I have another 2 years here and what if I hate every minute of it?"

"I doubt that will happen, maybe you just need a break from it all to clear your head."

"A break?"

"Yeah, why not come back home at some point when you finish to see us."

"Okay, perhaps that's what I need." Livi had no idea that I'd already finished so I might just not tell her and then book a flight for a few days time and surprise them.

"Yay, so I guess I'll see you soon then?"

"Yep see you soon" I smiled before hanging up.

As soon as Livi had disappeared off the screen I turned my laptop on and went onto an airline website to book a flight. It wasn't going to be cheap as its a very long flight but I didn't mind using some of my savings as I knew it would be worth it. I managed to book one for the day after tomorrow and as I was suddenly so excited I packed my suitcase with enough clothes for a few weeks as I wasn't sure how long I would be staying.

If the academy refuse to kick me out then maybe I'll just leave instead like Mrs Brown suggested. Obviously I wont leave permanently but just for a few weeks, besides its the summer now so I don't have any more classes for 7 weeks. Perhaps this break will allow me to clear my head and help me focus on what was important to me over a month ago when I first moved here.