Wild Side || N.S.

★ thirty one ★

     "Well... now would be the time for someone to say something" Stevie spoke up, bringing Tony and I back to reality. I didn't know what to think if I was being completely honest. How were they able to keep it a secret from us for this long? Was I really too caught up in my own life to notice changes in my brothers'? 

Maybe Nikki was right when he implied that I was selfish. 

"Well if you're expecting me to bitch you guys out, that's the last thing I'm gonna do. I'm happy if you guys are. I'm always gonna support you guys and have your backs, you know that" I smiled at the both of them. 

"I mean yeah, this caught me by surprise for sure but you guys will always be my brothers" Tony added. This seemed to relieve both Jason and Steven.

"You guys didn't hide this from us cause you were worried we wouldn't approve, did you?" I asked carefully. Unfortunately, we don't live in a time where being gay is viewed as 'normal'. Hell Freddie Mercury came out and people are giving him a very hard time about it. Like for Christ sake, it's Freddie fuckin' Mercury man!

Neither Jason or Steven said a word and that only confirmed it. And that broke my damn heart. 

"Seriously? You think that lowly of us?" Tony asked, an edge to his voice. 

"No it's not like that-" Stevie tried to say but Tony cut him off.

"Oh really? Cause it fuckin' sounds like it. What the hell man? We're family for crying out loud. We're supposed to tell each other everything" Tony raised his voice. He did sort of have a point, but this was not the way to go about it.

"Guys-" I tried to intervene but it was useless. 

"Listen here you selfish prick, stop making this about you cause it's not!" Jason defended Stevie. Well, at least we had made some sort of progress. Too bad it didn't feel that way.

"Nah you're right, it's about you two clearly don't trust Ria and I. What's the point of even being a band if we can't even trust each other?" Tony snarled.

"Tony come on, don't say that" I spoke calmly even though on the inside, I was a wreck. This was not good. 

"Ria how are you not angry with this?! They don't fuckin' trust us" Tony spoke, clearly irritated. 

"That's not true Tone, come on. They probably just didn't know how to tell us. You guys are blowing this all out of proportion." I tried to not be too biased. 

But I only ended up making it worse. The guys ended up continuing to yell at each other and before I knew it, I was making my way out of the bus. I don't remember how I ended up out there but I was outside and walking away from my boys. 

My heart beat had accelerated and it was the only thing I could hear. I couldn't feel my hands and as I looked down at them, they were shaking profusely. I also noticed that my left arm had gone completely numb. 

Was I having a heart attack?

"Aye Ramone, there you are girl!" Tommy hollered, making me look over to find him with Nikki. Nikki had smiled once he saw me but it quickly faded once he saw the state I was in. 

"Maria?" he asked. I went to speak but nothing came out. And before I knew it, I fell to the ground. 

"Maria!" I heard Nikki yell and the sound of footsteps running over to me. In a matter of seconds, I saw Nikki crouching over me. 

"Baby what's happening?" Nikki asked, clearly terrified. 

"I-I don't know. I can't feel my arm and my throat is closing up I think" I felt myself shaking and Nikki pulled me closer to him. 

"She might be having an anxiety attack. My sister's had a few of 'em and she said the same thing." Tommy spoke up. 

Nikki nodded at him and turned to me. "I'm gonna take you to our bus okay?" he looked at me for confirmation.

"O-okay" I stuttered. 

He picked me up with ease and practically sprinted to the bus. Once we were inside, Tommy grabbed went off to grab me some water and Nikki put me down on the couch and grabbed some blankets to wrap around me gently. He walked off and grabbed something out of his bunk and came back. 

Tommy had a two bottles of water in his hands and handed them over to Nikki. Nikki in return handed him a tape. 

"Thanks man, put this on the tv, would ya?" he said as he made his way to sit down with me on the couch. "Here baby, drink this slowly, okay?" he handed me a bottle of water as he sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I just nodded at his words.

"The Wizard of Oz?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, it's her favourite movie. It should help calm her down." Nikki answered.

Tommy nodded at his words. "We're gonna talk about just how whipped you are later" he chuckled as he put the tape in and pressed play. 

"I'm gonna go tell Doc what's going on, you gonna be alright?" Tommy asked Nikki. 

"Yeah, I'll stay here with Ria." Nikki smiled over at me while I worked on controlling my breathing and drinking the water. 

"Okay. Hey Ria?" Tommy asked, gaining my attention. I stopped drinking and looked at him. "I love you" 

"I love ya too... T-Bone" I was practically whispering. He just smiled and leaned down, giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

"See you kids later" he smiled and headed off the bus. 

Nikki readjusted the blankets and kept asking me if it was alright. I just nodded at him and he smiled softly even though the look in his eyes told me just how much my anxiety attack was scaring him. 

"I'm not leaving you okay? We're gonna sit here and watch this god awful movie" he joked making me choke out a laugh. 

"It's not that bad. You went out and bought it after all" I replied, taking another sip of water. 

"Yeah yeah, watch your movie babe" he kissed my head as I snuggled into him for comfort. I did not have to be told twice.

. . .

A/N: sorry if that triggered anyone in any way :( 

I still can't get over how much you guys dig this book. Thanks for treating my baby so well & please keep the feedback coming! ♥♥♥