Wild Side || N.S.

★ forty three ★

     "And in true Motley Crue fashion, the band's latest concert in London, England had broken out into an all out riot when bass player, Nikki Sixx had taken it upon himself to jump a  drunk fan who had thrown a drink at him. The fan was also wearing a shirt of his rumored ex-girlfriend; Ria Ramos, the front woman of Infamous who had been an opening act for Motley Crue on their North American tour. Nikki Sixx has yet to comment on the situation and Ria Ramos has appeared to be shying away from the spotlight as of late." the woman on the television droned on and on about what had happened last night. It's been maybe a little over a month since I had talked to Nikki. After I had left the album launch party so abruptly, I packed my shit, left Nikki cash for buying Whisky, took Whisky, and left his ass. I was over getting my hopes up when it came to him. People like Nikki don't change. They're incapable. The sooner I realized this, the better.

"Ria, why are you watching this shit? You know it's just gonna make you upset." Stevie sighed, taking a seat next to me and changing the channel immediately.

"It's not like I chose this channel on purpose, damn," I groaned. "and besides, me being upset is perfect for writing new songs"

"Fair point I guess. But it's not good for your mental health" Stevie noted.

"You need to worry less about my mental health and a little more about keeping the noise down in your room. You and Jase kept me up late last night" I deflected, trying to change the subject. It seemed to work because Stevie's face went bright red, making me smirk.

"Shit, I'm sorry" Stevie chuckled awkwardly.

"It's all right, I'm glad things are working out well for you two" I admitted, making him smile and pull me in for a hug.

"I'm really sorry about Nikki, Ria. We could tell you really dug him" Stevie smiled sympathetically.

"Yeah, I did. But he's in the past now so let's keep him there, yeah?" I asked.

"Another fuck ton of roses for Miss Maria Alejandra Ramos," Tony announced as he made his way into the living room of our shared house. "do I get to set these ones on fire?"

"Hey you got to set the last bunch on fire, this one's my turn!" Jason hollered making me roll my eyes with a smile.

"Boys play nice" I scolded playfully.

"Yes mom," they said in unison sarcastically. "oh, these ones have a card with them. It reads 'I'm sorry'. Wow, very sincere and personal." Jason said, the sarcastic tone not leaving his voice at all.

"Gimme that" I motioned to the card to which Jason obliged skeptically. I grabbed a pen in front of me and added to the card.

'I'm sorry.... that I ever met you.'

"There, now we just tape that to a bag of Whisky's shit and send it right back" I concluded making the boys laugh.

"You are absolutely ruthless, Ria" Jason spoke as their laughter died down.

"Ruthless Ria, I like it" I chuckled making them all nod in agreement.

The boys decided to go for a booze run and I stayed back at the house, hanging out with Whisky and cleaning up the place. Since we got back from tour, we decided to rent out a house for us all to live in together. That way, we can record our new album, have more space for Whisky and well us, in general I guess. I don't know, what I do know that it is much more comfortable than my old studio apartment.

I was brought out of my thoughts when the telephone started ringing. I walked over to the phone and answered it after a few rings. "Hello?"

There was a long silence after I had answered before I heard his voice. "Maria?" he asked softly.

"No" I lied.

"Please don't hang up" he begged, his voice cracking as if he hadn't spoken in days.

"I have nothing to say to you" I replied coldly.

"Then just listen," he snapped slightly but then let out a sigh. "please"

"Fine. But the second you start using excuses or blame anyone for your own problems, I'm hanging up." I admitted.

"I never should've spoken that way about you in front of all those guys. I guess once Robbin implied in front of everyone that he had slept with you, it fucked with me. It embarrassed the hell out of me and hurt me as well. That doesn't excuse why I said what I did, I'm just telling you why I did it." Nikki unloaded the truth on me and honestly? I was surprised he was being honest with me. I wasn't expecting it at all.

"I'm really sorry Maria. Please take me back. I'll do everything I can to fix this. I swear" he begged, making my lip quiver. Don't cry. Don't you dare fucking cry.

"Look Nikki, I'm glad you're being honest with me now but why couldn't you have just been like this from the start? You change your mind every other day and you snap at me without a reason sometimes. And don't even get me started on your heroin issue that I've tried to help you with. Being with you is like a fucking roller coaster and I don't know if I can handle it" I admitted and immediately regretted the words once they left my mouth.

"But... you said you weren't gonna leave like everyone else" he nearly whispered, making me feel incredibly guilty.

"I'm not leaving your life, not unless you want me to. But I can't be with you. Not like this." I spoke somberly.

"Well if you can't be mine, then what's the fucking point of you being in my life?" Nikki asked coldly, his words basically ripping my heart out.

"I uhm... I guess there isn't one. Goodbye Nikki." I replied.

"Ria wait-" I didn't get to hear the rest of his words because I hung up the phone.

I slid down the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest, cradling myself and letting all the tears out. Whisky came over to me and laid next to me, whimpering slightly.

I scratched behind his ear. "I'll be okay, boy. I'll be okay." And I didn't know who I was trying to convince more; the dog or myself.

. . .

A/N: Wow, I hate myself. This shit just made me cry.

So sorry I haven't updated in a while. Life's been fucking mental. And shitty. Except for last weekend however. I went to Sonic Temple Music Festival in Columbus, Ohio and dude, check out the damn lineup:

The Prodigy unfortunately was not there for obvious reasons :( R.I.P. Keith Flint :(

Anyway, sorry again for not updating quicker but thanks for holding out on this chapter. My mental health is getting better so here's hoping the inspiration stays a little while longer and I can get back to updating faster. Thanks for reading and keep the feedback coming, ily! 🖤~