( TONGUE TIED ! ) fw imagines

f.w - teenage hurt

"hey." his voice was sultry, welcoming and overall sweet.

almost immediately, she tries to match a face with the voice.

she wants to hang up, just as she's done many times before but something is stopping her.

this is your chance, her subconscious tells her, no more being alone.

her hand stays frozen holding the phone against her ear while her lips are slightly parted, as if she's going to say something.

when nothing but a squeak comes out, she huffs and sets the phone down, not hanging it up in case she can convince herself to speak.

it was as simple as that. all she had to do was speak.

she can hear the muffle of the person on the end of the line repeating "hello?", most likely wondering what the hell is going on with her.

he's judging you. he's calling you crazy and weird and ugly and-

"he doesn't even know me." she whispers out, her hands flying up to rub her temples. she takes a few deep breaths in, using all of her might to block out the voice that is shouting at her to just give up.

maybe you're better off alone, in your own world, safe from everyone's harsh words.

it wasn't true, though. she's never even spoken to anyone long enough for them to get to know her.

it was all in her head, the judging and the bullying and the constant lowering of her self esteem.

she was her own enemy, she was the one who isolated herself.

this needed to stop.

with a shaky hand, she picks up the phone and lifts it back to her ear.

"h-hi." she finally chokes out, praying to whoever's above that the boy didn't hang up.

the line is silent for a while, she tells herself it's a long while, maybe she should just hang up.

before she can though, the faint sound of a sigh echos through her ear, sending shivers down her spine and causing the hairs on her arms to rise.

"are you okay? do you need me to transfer you to a different hotline?" he finally speaks.

he thinks you've lost your marbles, he wants to transfer you somewhere else, he's scared of you.

"no. no i'm fine it's just..." she trails off, feeling a sudden pressure in her chest. it's going to burst any second.

"it's okay, take your time." he hums.

"i-i have this p-problem, where i isolate myself. you know how everyone has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? the devil's always talking to me, talking down on me. i-it corrupts my brain, tells me i don't deserve to have friends, i'm not good enough. it forces me to isolate myself. i haven't had an actual conversation with anyone since i was in kindergarten. i begged my mom to homeschool me after that a-and it wasn't even because of someone bullying me i just-i couldn't talk to anyone without feeling like they were judging me. i'm tired of it. it drains me and it's going to keep draining me until i shrivel up and die and i don't want that. i want to live like a real teenager. i want friends. i want to be able to step out of my room without feeling like absolute shit."