( TONGUE TIED ! ) fw imagines

m.w - listen before i go

hey you,

handsome, caring, strong, powerful, you. i'm not very sure why i'm doing this-okay, i'm lying. i'm doing it because i miss you. there, i've finally said it. i miss you. i really fucking miss you. there are days when i wake up and suddenly the memories all come flooding back. i wake up and i just hope that maybe, just maybe, you'll be there to comfort me, to tell me things are gonna be just fine.

the therapy isn't helping, if i'm quite honest. all it does is remind me that you're gone and never coming back. my shrink tells me to be strong for you. i've tried, but i can't. i invested everything in you: my time, my love, my affection and then you left me here to suffer. alone. maybe it's selfish of me, to not want to keep fighting, to not want to keep living.

or maybe it's not. maybe this is for the better. i need you. i need you in order to keep me sane and god, i hate having to admit that but it's true. you were my everything. my whole world. now my world is gone and i'm just the moon, out of orbit, confused and lost.

i'm leaving, just like you did. the only difference is that you, my angel, will fluttering above in heaven while i...will not. i don't blame god, or allah, or whoever believe in, for taking you so soon. the earth didn't deserve, the people on this earth didn't deserve you, i did not deserve you.

i hope that somehow, in some way, you're able to read this. i hope you know that i'm not mad at you. i'm hurt, yes, but the voice in the back of my head is telling me this is good. you needed to go, to rest, to be free.

my only purpose in this world was to love you. and now that there is no more you, there's no more me.

i love you three thousand,
michael wheeler.

sincerely, yours truly.

&&&

sorry this is kinda sad and jumbled, i had a dream about someone i miss very much and felt like writing.