Broken - Isadora Quagmire

Chapter Thirty Four - Drunk Villains

"Darling! Why don't you slow down a bit?" screamed Esme Gigi Genevieve Squalor as her crazy boyfriend madly drove deep into the hinterlands

"First the Baudelaire Orphans escape my clutches, and now one of their parents may be alive. Do you know what it feels like to have your life spin out of control, as if driven by the cruel whims of some unpredictable madman!" roared Count Olaf.

"I certainly know what it's like" I shouted.

"You are an evil, unpredictable madman, you kidnapped me an my brother from Prufrock Prep, you tried to get Klaus to push Violet off of a roof, you have murdered and murdered just to get your way and now the Baudelaires are missing!"

"Yes, we do know what it's like" I shouted "You are an evil madman, you kidnapped me and Duncan, you tried to cut off Violet Baudelaire's head, you have murdered and murdered just to get your way and now the Baudelaires are gone!".

Count Olaf looked away from the road and Esme grabbed the wheel as he turned to face me and my brother, he took a deep breath before shouting "Shut up!". He turned back around "You twins are making my situation way worse, I am extremely stressed right now and extremely angry. You're right Quigley, I did kill to get my way and I will do it again"

"You know I'm not Quigley, our brother Quigley died in a fire"

"I am fully aware of that. He's dead get over it and shut up, or I don't know what I'll do"

After some time, we arrived at Caligari Carnival.

"Get out" Olaf said, opening the van doors.

"This place doesn't look very in" Esme said.

Duncan and I sat on the top of the trunk of Count Olaf's long black automobile while he talked to his associates.

"Are you sure we are very safe here boss? If the police come there's nowhere to hide" asked the hook handed man.

"Why do we have to hide? No one comes looking for a dead man, and the Daily Punctilio just put my obituary on the front page" Olaf smiled giving us the newspaper to mock us.

But when we saw it we smiled as well which made Olaf's henchperson of indeterminate gender take it off of us, "'Surprisingly low turnout for-'" he read before Olaf threw the newspaper away.

"We only have to stay long enough for Madame Lulu to answer our questions" Count Olaf said, "where the other orphans are hiding? Is one of their parents still alive?".

"Or we could ask about the Sugar Bowl!" interrupted the bald henchman.

"Why would we believe some woman who lives in a tent?" asked Esme.

"Not just any tent. Look.A sign that we're on the right path" said Olaf who then pushed me and Duncan off of the car, "let's go".

"Or if could be a sign that we are on the right path" breathed Duncan.

"Welcome, welcome to Caligari Carnival, Madame Lulu has been expecting you" announced a peculiar and oddly familiar woman, she had long wavy black hair, a turban and a nose ring, she spoke in a unidentifiable foreign accent.

"Really? You've been expecting us?" questioned the sinister villain Count Olaf. "I have vision I receive visit from handsome stranger" said Madame Lulu.

"And his girlfriend?" asked Esme who was obviously jealous.

"No she not in vision" replied Lulu which made me and Duncan chuckle and Olaf push us onto a sofa.

"Now who wants fortune from fortune-teller please?" queried Madame Lulu, prompting Olaf's henchmen to argue over who should go first until she broke their fighting, "There is no need for such fighting. I read fortune for all at one reasonable group rate".