A Passion Beyond Labels || BTS Rap Line x Reader

The Class President

Ch.59

Namjoon's P.O.V.

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Taehyung and I were dropped off at our house. He was bouncing around me like usual. I chuckled to see him acting so hyper. I could never understand how he always had so much energy. Unlocking the front door, I opened it wide for Taehyung to enter. He ran inside shouting the lyrics to Fake Love. That boy. Shaking my head, I shut the door behind me. I took a look around the house and sighed to myself. Anytime it's just Taehyung and me...this place always feels so empty and lonely. Before I actually got friends, I was used to having this big house be empty. Having Taehyung around gave me social interaction and Jimin would occasionally show up. Things were really lonely back then.

A tight smile came on my lips as I looked back at those old memories. Mom and Dad told us to focus on school ever since I can remember. Since I was older, I was left in charge of watching over Taehyung. They would always send us allowance to spend on ourselves. Food, clothes, and supplies for school. Stuff like that. They used to visit every month when we were younger, but that stopped. Soon it became every couple months and once I became thirteen years old, they let go of the nanny. That's when I had to take care of Taehyung all by myself. They told me to make sure he passes his classes and set a rule with me that Taehyung wasn't aware of. If I got good grades, our allowance grew. The better the grades I got, the more money I had. I used that money to make Taehyung stop crying all the time. I tried to fill money where love should have been. He was ten and constantly whining about wanting to see Mom and Dad.

They weren't coming no matter how hard he cried.

Normally, I tried not to think about Mom and Dad often. It's only when we're all alone that they pop back up in my head. At least growing up they were more involved in my life than they were in Taehyung's. I went up to my room still lost in my thoughts. Hoseok sent the music and lyrics over to me. It was my turn to right my rap lyrics. A song about Fake Love. Completely opposite of what DNA was. Dropping my body in a seat, I scooted in closer to my computer. Finding the email Hoseok sent me wasn't too hard. I listened through the song again with my parents in mind.

It didn't apply to them. At least I didn't want it to. Just because they weren't around didn't mean they didn't care about us. They're busy with work is all. It's just...it wouldn't hurt to call once a month. My mind drifted back to the barbeque at Yoongi's house. Taehyung claiming that he practically hasn't seen his parents his entire life. I told him not to exaggerate and it made my heart hurt. I want to be enough as a big brother, but he wants his parents. To be honest, I think I'm responsible for making Taehyung so hurt about not seeing his parents. I used to shove him away and not give him the attention he needed. I focused on studying and though I tried to show affection my way, that's not what he needed.

Maybe I should write about that. How one's own desires can't translate into love for another? Tapping my lips with my finger, I listened through the song multiple times. I'm supposed to fill in the blank for the final round tomorrow. I only have a couple hours. Pulling out a piece of paper, I take out a mechanical pencil with it. Time to finish the song. I wrote my verse and stared at it for a couple seconds. Garbage. I ripped it up and took out another paper. Even if I wrote lyrics, I didn't like how they were turning out. That's not how I want to word it! The lead broke when I crossed out the lyrics harshly. Think, Namjoon. Do it again. Running a hand through my hair, I stared at the paper for almost an entire hour.

Nothing was popping in my head. Nothing good. It all felt like my thoughts were jumbled. My last idea for fake love wasn't good at all. Fake love? A heavy sigh left my lips as I thought of another form of fake love. It doesn't have to be actual fake love...could it be me trying to give love to Taehyung in a way I can't? I can't give him the parent love he needs. Biting my lip, I returned the pencil to the paper only to let my head hit my desk. I don't have anything!! Throwing my pencil to the side out of frustration, I soon let out a heavy sigh. Throwing things around isn't going to help anything. I stood up from my chair to go pick up the pencil. I need inspiration. As I grabbed my pencil, (F/n) appeared in my head.