Falice oneshots At Midnight

Triffle Surpise ( TOW- FP Got High)

(This requested from Archive our own. It's from The one where Ross got High.
I'm sorry, I'm just getting to it now. I've been very busy lately. I made FP Hermione's brother in this. There's no kids in this oneshot— besides Ben who is Charles, the mother unknown, Carol. (Like in friends she is a lesbian. I hope you enjoy.)

Alice was allowed by Hermione to make one dish for tonight's dinner. Hermione and FP's parents were coming for dinner. FP and Alice were still not together, even after he left Gladys. She had told him she loved him, but found out how ridiculous it all sounded to her own ears. Hermione and Fred has been going out secretly for like six months.

Everyone knew expect, Jack and Judy Gomez. The Gomez's didn't like Fred because FP told his parents he was the one who was smoking pot in college.

FP has a son, Charles, he had with Carol. She was his first wife, who turned out to a lesbian and left him for a woman named Susan Bunch. He didn't like Susan for an obvious reason.

But maybe it wasn't Carol and Susan's fault. He always been in-love with his sister's best-friend, Alice Smith. She was a few years younger him, the same age as his sister. They dated after he left Julie, then Mark ruined everything and they went on a break. He ended up sleeping with a girl at the Xerox place. Alice found out, she was upset because she was going to give him another chance.

But when she found out she ended it all together. Their love affair stopped until He was about to marry Gladys. She realized by the help of Penny that she loved FP and never stopped. FP says the wrong name at the alter, but married Gladys anyways. He tired to work it out but it didn't work. She wanted him to move to London and never be friends with Alice again.

He couldn't do that, so that led to.... FP losing his wife, and apartment he was subletting by Gladys's family. He lost his job over throwing a fit of a sandwich that Hermione made him. He gets his job back and a new apartment to find out his sister and Best friend were sleeping together.

Alice started mixing the ingredients. Hours later, The Gomez's walked through Hermione's door. Everyone smiled at the nicely presented food. Tom, Penny, Fred, FP, Hermione, Jack and Judy began to eat.

"What is in this?" Hermione asks.

Alice smiles." lady fingers, peas, ground beef and more Lady fingers." FP stops chewing the god-awful food. He had to fight back to gag as he swallows it.

Tom kept eating it," This is so good, Alice." He commented, next to Sierra who tried to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

Alice walks away, and FP spits his back onto the plate." It tastes like feet!" He wipes his tongue with the napkin.

After dinner, Jack comes out of the bedroom, Penny was telling Alice how Jack no longer turned her on. She had been having dreams about him. Hermione came up to her brother at the table." FP, let's go."

FP looks up." About telling Mom & Dad...I was thinking about writing a letter."

Hermione couldn't believe her brother." Alright you know what that's it. You've had you're chance." Hermione starts walking away and heads over to living room where her mother and father were sitting on the couch.

"Mom ,Dad, FP smoked pot in college." Jack and Judy turned around." What??!"

"You are such a tattletale!" FP argued. He walked over to his parents and sat down." Mom, Dad, do you remember the time you walked into my room and smelled Marijuana?"

Jack nodded and Judy gave Fred a look."Yes." Fred caught them looking at him. FP looked at Fred and then back at his parents. "Well, I told you it was Fred that who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry."

Judy and Jack looked over at their son in shock. It was you?"

"And Dad, you know that mailman you got fired and didn't your playboys. FP did!" Hermione interrupted before her father could respond.

Jack looked over at FP, his eyes widened at the look he got from his father." Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Hermione did!" He blurted out, causing Hermione mouth to drop open in shock.

She couldn't he did that." FP hasn't worked at the museum for a year!" She shouted back.

"Hermione and Fred are living together!" FP yelled out.

Hermione's hands went to her face. She wasn't ready to tell them yet. Oh it was on now. "FP married Alice in Vegas and got divorced again!"

"I love Jacques Cousteau!" Penny shouted out randomly.

Alice hadn't been listening she was reading the recipe." I wasn't supposed to put in the triffle!"

"I wanna go!" Tom added.

"That's a lot information to get in thirty seconds." Said Judy, rubbing her head. She stands up from the couch," Alright, Tom,if you wanna leave, just leave. Alice, no, you weren't supposed to put beef in the triffle. It did not taste good. Penny, I'm sorry, I think Jacques Cousteau is dead." She pauses for a second before turning to Hermione. "Hermione, why you felt to hide that fact you're in a important relationship is beyond me."

"And we kinda figured about the porch swing." Jack added, causing Hermione to smile. Judy sighs," FP, drugs. Divorced again."

"What happened, son?" Jack asked FP.

"I-Uh- I got tricked into all those things." FP stammers.

Judy looks over at Fred," Fred, you've been FP's best friend for all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. And, now you've taken on Hermione as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being."

"Thank you!" Fred says.

"No, thank you." Jack cuts him off with a hug. Jack turns back to his kids," Hermione and FP, I don't know what I'm gonna do with the two of you."

Fred says," I'll talk to them."

"Welcome to the family, Fred." Jack says smiling.