TART The Sequel [TART 3]

...Ball Day

(Some ranting at the start, the end of the chapter will be more cheerful XD)

Today was fine until the end of the school day

I was walking with my two friends from my class (JT and another girl), when Mal called for both of them and gave them Christmas presents

I really didn't want to, but I walked over as well and stood next to JT. We stood there for a while and I really didn't want to be there at all so I whispered to JT asking if we could leave, and she looked at me dead in the eyes and said "pull yourself together"

I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but I felt like I was stabbed in the back. I thought she understood. And I was so fucking angry and hurt. I wanted to walk away so badly, but I knew I would've started a fight if I did, and I can't afford to lose my only friends in class so I just bit my teeth together and held back my tears

I had a lump in my throat and my stomach and I held back my tears the whole way home, and even though I'm ashamed to say it, I went straight to my bedroom and cried

Reality hit me like a truck

I will always come second

Mal has everyone wrapped around her little finger, so I will ALWAYS come second

My friends in my class are already friends with Mal again, which is fucking terrifying because it feels like everything I've worked for this past month or two has been for nothing

I can't believe she had the nerve to look me in the eyes and tell me to pull myself together

She couldn't even BEGIN to comprehend the pain I've been through because of Mal

I'm not talking days, weeks, or even months. I'm talking YEARS of pain and heartbreak from Mal, so yeah, it's a little fucking hard to just "pull myself together" and be friendly with the person who made my life crumble apart

She has no idea what I've been through

Mal and I were basically the "it" couple at school (though we weren't a couple, but you know what I mean lol)

People thought that we were gonna be best friends for the rest of our lives

I thought that we would raise our kids together

I thought that our graves would be right next to each other

Mal wasn't just my best friend, she was family in my eyes. I was certain she was my "friend soulmate", I thought we were endgame

And I've spent months, maybe even an entire fucking year trying to come to terms with the fact that with every passing day, I am losing my favorite person in the whole world more and more

I haven't even told you guys all the things she's done just these past few months that have broken my heart - and it's a lot

So you can see why I can't just forget everything and be friendly with her again

It just hurts to be reminded that my "friends" don't understand, and they never will. (Not Amalie and T of course, they're the only ones that do understand)

—

Done with the sad part :DD

But yeah, my day was pretty good until that happened XD

We had what they called a "ball day" where everyone else played sports all day long while most of my friends and I just sat on the grandstands all. day. long.

A lot of people were hungover, and we kept smelling vomit where we were sitting. At the end of the day, when JT and I grabbed out jackets, they were sticking to the seats

So we've been sitting in dried up vomit all day-

A group of us even went to a grocery store at some point and grabbed snacks and energy drinks lmao

This is by far the best energy drink I've had:

Literally every other energy drink I've had tastes the sameeee (and not that good :P)

But that one really just tasted like fruity soda XD