Fighting For Us - Book 4

Relax, I'm Here

LENA POV

When I open my eyes, I can feel the sun beaming on my back through the open window, and I can hear the water in the distance. My heart and stomach suddenly hurt as I remember the fight I had with Stef just a few hours earlier, and I roll over to see her standing by the huge window, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand. My heart races as I realize just how beautiful she really is, and I feel as if she becomes more beautiful with each passing day.

"When I was eight years old, we were stationed in Hawaii, and it was my favorite place in the entire world. The sand was so white and the water was clear as glass. I can see why you miss it," she says softly as she turns to look at me. I feel my face flush as our eyes lock, and I sit up, pulling the thin sheet with me to cover my bare chest.

"I don't miss it that much," I laugh awkwardly as she bites her lower lip and makes a face.

"I don't believe you. You do miss it, and you're miserable in the city. I would understand if you decided to go back and resume teaching on the...the beach. The kids would be freer to...to wander and go out more."

"Stef, where is this coming from?" I pull the sheet higher as my heart hammers. Is she tired of my foolishness already? Maybe something is wrong with me considering everyone I love, leaves.

"It's no secret that it's been difficult between us since you moved in with me, and while I'm grateful for you and your love, I know that I'm a hard person to live with, Lena. I just am. I've had to fight for my independence, and I'm still learning how to be in a committed relationship, and I'm failing. I'm failing miserably."

"Stef, I..."

"Mamas????" We both jump as we hear Corey banging on the bedroom door. "Gran said breakfast is served out back today!!!!" He calls through the door, and I blink back tears.

"We'll be out, buddy!" Stef calls out to him as she moves toward the bed, and I fight the tears that have already begun to fall.

"Will you go out with me today? On the water?" I ask softly as I wipe my face. She studies me carefully before running the back of her hand across my cheek.

"But the kids...and Jules..."

"They'd understand. We need this. Please." I whimper as my tears keep falling freely. "Tonight is our crab feast and bonfire anyway. We'll have plenty of time with everyone."

"Mamas! Hurry! Breakfast is getting cold!" Frankie hollers through the door as Stef rolls her eyes and leans forward to kiss my lips softly.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as she leans her forehead against mine, and we stay like this for a couple of minutes both knowing we have some things we still need to work through.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, babe. I'm sorry for...for making you feel as if you aren't tough. It's not that, Len." She pulls back and caresses my warm cheek. "I just imagine you getting hurt. And I know that's probably how you feel everyday about me. So I'm being a hypocrite."

"You aren't. I understand. I really do and I'm kind of the hypocrite for taking an interview there while yelling at you for working there. Knowing it's dangerous."

"Nah, I wouldn't call you that, love. But why so? MM? Why take an interview there of all places?"

"Well, I guess I really didn't think about it. I applied all over the city," I laugh softly. "Even Callie's school, LaGuardia."

"Len, it's not, I'm not telling you to not go on the interview, but I'd feel better if I at least took you and sat outside and waited. Baby it's just...it's not that I don't think you can handle yourself, it's that I don't trust anyone else...there. I don't know what I'd do without you babe. I lost you once and..." she says now getting up and heading back to the window. "I lost you once and many after you."