Fighting For Us - Book 4

Heartbreak

"What did you guys do?" Callie asked asked as she walked quietly into the bedroom, and she saw Frankie was in her bed her with face in the pillow and Stefanie was nervously doodling on her notebook. Callie had just gotten home and after looking around, wondered why Lena didn't ride home with her and why her Mom's stuff was there as well but she saw no one in sight.

"Something stupid." Stefanie admits as she lets out a sigh.

"Like what? Where is my Mom?"

"I don't know but this is all my fault. It just is." She begins to tear as Frankie soon turns around.

"It's not. I should not be smoking and should not have mouthed off."

"I don't mean that. I seem to cause issues between Aunt Lena and my godmother. It seems they fight more since I got here and I think I should go. I don't belong anywhere."

With tears streaming down her face Frankie hopped off her bed to sit beside the girl along with Callie. All they could do was hold her hand as Callie rubbed her back. "I basically broke my parents up in some sense and now I'm going to break them up. I should just  end myself."

"Hey don't ever say that." Callie says sternly. "Don't ever.  Look, people in relationships argue all the time. It has nothing to do with you or me. Sometimes our Moms bump heads but they always make up like in a few hours then they are all OVER each other." Callie laughs as Stefanie lets out a small smile.

"Yeah they really are. You can always tell too. Because they locked the door of their room at WEIRD TIMES." The girl rolls her eyes as both Callie and Stefanie bust out laughing. "As if we don't know what they are doing. Look don't end yourself, Stefanie. I know you and I didn't get along for a really long time, like forever, but don't end yourself.  Whenever we are off being grounded which will probably be next year lets do something fun. We can take you to Coney Island!"

"Oh yeah you'll love Coney Island." Callie agrees. "I mean it's not as pretty as the beaches in California but it's cool. They have Astroland and stuff. We used to go all the time when I was a kid.

"Yeah that sounds fun. I'd like that." The girl agrees. "I guess I'm homesick too. I don't know New York much and I just feel I don't fit in."

Frankie looks at Callie over Stefanie's slumped shoulders as she feels alarmed at Stefanie's confession. She knew this feeling all too well, but hearing it from someone else scared her.

"Hey, guys!" Corey barges in the room as all three girls look over at him. "Mike's here and he has pizza!"

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STEF POV

As I walk into our apartment it is now passed 10 in the evening, and I had no intention of staying out this late. But I had gone down to Coney Island to walk the boardwalk, eat a hot dog and think. Never had I left my family this long without calling, or checking in, or letting anyone know where I was, but I was so damn fed up I couldn't bare to talk to anyone.

This entire thing between Lena, Tess and I had to stop at some point, and if I could take that night back in '69 I would so that it would stop biting me in the ass, Lena wouldn't feel so self conscious, and Tess would not have fallen in love with me. Tess writing in that diary which Stefanie found  only made things worse for it was one reason why my relationship with her changed. Why she was so angry with me and the fact it confused her so much tore me up inside.  I understood Lena and how she felt she needed to tell Tess to stay away. I got it but at the same time I wasn't sure what to think, for I was conflicted.

I don't understand why I feel so conflicted. I don't get why it bothers me so badly except for the fact in the end, all I want is for peace and love to transpire between all of us. But is that even possible? After everything that has happened, is it possible for us to finally put this to bed and be friends?

Lena had told me that I was riding the fence in regards to all of this, but I was blind to that fact. I didn't understand what she meant until she said it, and now my heart is broken that I could be the reason that this entire thing has been blown out of proportion. How could I not have seen it? How could I not have known what was right in front of me? I was an affectionate person, and it never dawned on me that Tess felt something much different than I ever did. That fact alone breaks my heart to pieces, for I was not the kind of person to lead anyone on...ever.

I had chosen and still choose Lena, and the words I spewed out to her today was not anything close to what I mean or meant. I don't really want her to leave. I don't really want her to go away. We had fought too damn hard to get here...to stay here...to be together. I had hurt her over and over again, and once more I was blinded to the fact that I was doing so, for I wasn't aware that she was trying everything in her power to be okay...to forgive me...to let things go...FOR ME.

I really messed up this time, and I know what I need to do, but my heart doesn't want to face any of this. I know that Tess needs to figure out for herself once and for all what she wants in life, and I can't help her this time. I know that what I need to do is sit down with Lena and admit that I was dead wrong. If the roles were reversed, I don't think I ever could have forgiven her...yet look at what she has done for me all of this time. Most women would have made their significant other choose, and Lena never had for she had let go of herself and decided to put her trust in me, believing the fact that I do and always will love her.

I love Stefanie and Frankie as if they are my own, and I see them as such. And the fact that they got in trouble in school today really tears me up inside. The fact that Stefanie continues to make these foolish decisions really hurts my heart, and the fact that Frankie continues to make great strides only to blatantly speak to authority as if she is in charge hurts me. All of it hurts me. I'm not a hard ass by any means, and at the end of the day, I'd much rather be hugging on my kids, kissing their faces and holding their hands instead of doling out punishment like a prison guard and whipping their asses.

As I walk into our little apartment, I see two half eaten pizza boxes on the kitchen table along with several opened bags of chips and a 12-pack of opened soda and sigh. Lena must not have wanted to make dinner, and I don't blame her. I begin to tidy up the kitchen and jump as I hear Mike's voice.

"Hey, there lady!"

"What the hell are you doing here?" I laugh as I was taken off guard and he startles me.

"Well, hello to you, too!" He laughs as he grabs another slice of pizza.

I roll my eyes as I wipe down the counters. "Where's Lena? The kids?"

"The kids are in there watching Scooby Doo, and I told them when this episode was over it was bedtime," He walks over to stand by me, as I frown.

"Mike? What's going on? Where's Lena? Where's my wife?" I can feel my throat closing in as sheer panic rises inside of me, for how could I have been so damn selfish as to leave? Did she leave me? Fuck! He said kids, but did he mean all of the kids? Or just Callie and Stefanie?

"Stef," he places his hand on my arm, and I'm so upset that I don't shrug him off like I normally would. "Can you sit?"

"Spit it out for fuck's sake!" I snap as I now shrug him off, very agitated by now.

"Lena is okay. She's at the hospital, and..."

"Wait...WHAT?" I holler as I feel my head becoming light, and he grabs me before my knees buckle. "Why didn't you fucking lead with that? What the hell, Mike?!" I slug him as he pulls back.

"Ouch! Watch it, Stef! No one knew where you were! I came to take care of the kids! Don't shoot the messenger! She's at Calvary Hospital. I got the call around 5ish, and you know how long those hospitals are. Steve took the call, and made sure she got there safely. But I haven't heard. All I know is that she's okay and there."

"What happened?" Tears blind my eyes as I rush to grab my badge which I had locked away earlier, and he follows close behind me.

"She was mugged, but Steve said she's okay. He just wanted to take her to the hospital to get checked."

"Oh my god!" I cover my mouth as I rush to the door then turn around. "Mike?"

"Ya? I know. I'll stay here as long as I need. Your kids are safe with me. Go! Go be with your wife!"

I nod as I rush out the door and take the steps two at a time...what the hell is happening to my family and why?