Fighting For Us - Book 4

Try To Understand

LENA POV

"Lena." I hear as I sit on the bed wiping the tears that run down my face. I don't want to cry but I am so upset with Stef that I can barely breath much less look at her. "Len, I..."

"Please. I need some space," I hold up my hand as she completely ignores me but walks closer to me. I'm beyond emotional from the events of the last few days, and this doesn't help. The last thing I want or have wanted was this: to argue and debate with her.

"No, Lena! We can't..." She throws up her hand as she shoves her other one in her pocket in distress. "We can't be...be at odds! We need to talk! You can't go through our...our marriage pretending everything is okay!" She stops in front of me as the tears continue to pour down my face.

"Our marriage? We aren't even married yet, and...and I feel so...so blindsided! Stef, I..."

"Baby," she cuts me off as she kneels in front of me. "I love you, and I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."

"When you are going to include me in things?  When are you going to stop hiding things from me and making these major decisions on your own? And why didn't you tell me about Mike? I felt so incredibly stupid when he brought it up!"

"Lena, I was going to. But we went to the hotel to see Tess and..."

"And we had time!" I interrupt as she stands again, running her fingers through her short hair. "We had time after that and you never said ONE THING. And then you go and get your buddies to scare Alby! That's not the way we decided to do this! Stef! I don't..."

"Lena, I will protect that girl with my life! With my entire life! And I will NOT apologize for what I did! Do you not understand that? MM?! Do you understand what it feels like to feel helpless? To not be able to do a damn ass thing! Being all the way on the opposite coast while she's getting her ass kicked by this little shit!"

"I understand that, Stef! Ok! I get it!" I stand now facing her eye to eye. "But doing this could have made things worse for her! What don't you understand, Stef? What????? Last I checked, you don't have to...to deal with things I do! That she does! That Tess and Jerry do! And that Frankie and Corey do as well!" I holler now as her face turns redder than ever.

"That's a very low blow, Lena Adams," her voice lowers as I know she's angrier than ever, but so am I. "How dare you say something like that! Honestly, this is about Stefanie, my goddaughter, and her safety! Not race! Who gives a crap. What does it matter! His parents are an interracial couple and..."

"And what? That means nothing! Nothing at all! Stef! You are impulsive and you sent two cops over there to essentially scare and harrass him! You don't think that can get back to you? You don't!"

"Lena..I.." She says in her angry tone.

"He and his parents can claim wrongful harassment. I should not have to tell you this since you're the cop! Then what if Stefanie does decide to admit what he's done? And she does press charges and this is found out? Then what?"

"I will figure it out! But I won't apologize!"

"Stef!" I stop in front of her and make sure she is listening to me as I say this. "You see how life is! You see how people stare at us here. How funny they look at me when I'm out with Callie thinking I'm probably her nanny! And you see how funny they look at you when you are out with Corey and Frankie and Stefanie. Do you remember how hard it was on base?"

"Of course I do! But I don't give a shit about that! Let them fucking stare! Frankie and Corey and Stefanie are my babies too and you know it never mattered to me whatsoever what any of them look like! I see you for you! And you are Callie's Mama not her nanny and I have no issue telling people that! I am a different person than I was in 69 and I have no damn fucking problem saying what I want to ignorant people!"