Code Blue • Jackson Avery

Chapter Forty Five

Chief Webber had agreed to a documentary to be conducted at Seattle Grace following those after the shooting.

This documentary not only brought the hospital in extra money but those selected to take part in the documentary were being compensated as well.

We were starting today after being briefed yesterday by the tv film crew about who was to speak and who would be in the background.

To no surprise they picked my dad, Mark, Alex, Meredith, Cristina, Jackson and myself to talk about our experiences along with the other fellow attendings to talk about what goes on day to day.

I walked in passing through security and up to the break getting changed into my scrubs while Cristina and Meredith were interviewed.

The documentary had Jackson and I going next. I woke up at three this morning to make sure I looked decent for the cameras. Those being filmed had to arrive a whole hour before there 6am shift to film.

"Jackson, Isabella we are ready" one of the cameraman said.

"Look just act happy for now" I said to Jackson.

"Please. I know how to act professional" Jackson snapped back. I sighed. We had a fight a few days ago. It wasn't just any fight either.

We were laying on the couch enjoying a movie when Jackson brought up us, our future. It wasn't something we had talked about before.

"How nice would it be to have a little baby" he said. I moved my body to face him.

"Yeah in like six years when we are stable in our attending positions" I joked not realizing he was taking about the near future.

"You don't want a kid sooner?" Jackson asked getting slightly defensive.

"No. I know first hand what its like being the product of busy parents. I basically lived at my grandmothers for like the first 8 years of my life. I would see my dad maybe a few hours each week until him and Addison were attendings. My mom flew around the world fighting for a chance to be seen and picked up by a big name buyer. I wouldn't change my life but I don't think I would do that to my child" I said all serious.

"Are you forgetting I was born into the same thing. A family of doctors, surgeons. The best in the world. I grew up with a scalp in my hand. It shaped me to be the person I am today. I loved visiting the OR gallery and walking the halls beside my parents" Jackson countered.

"Look I'm not having this conversation right now. I don't want that life for a child. Especially not mine"

"The baby would be ours if you weren't forgetting. Something we would share, love and care for together. It isn't just your say" Jackson fired back.

"I think I need a minute to think. I think you should go back to slumming it at Meredith's for awhile" I said opening the door to the hallway.

"Fine"

I slammed the door behind him.

The thoughts of what occurred a few days ago flooded back. We followed into an empty conference room and sat down.

"Just introduce yourselves" he said before the camera light signaled it was on.

"I'm Isabella Shepherd" I began

"I'm Jackson Avery. We are forth year residents here at Seattle Grace Mercy West"

"How has the shooting changed your lives?" The cameraman asked.

We both looked at each other. Jackson's hand grabbing mine under the table. I pulled back.

"Six months ago we lost a baby to a miscarriage" I began. I paused before continuing. "Being held hostage does things to your mind. Watching your father die changes your perspective on life. I have a deeper appreciation for the little things"

"Has it changed your relationship?" He asked.

"Yes it has definitely brought us closer. We are stronger than ever" Jackson said smiling at me. I smiled back even though I was still mad at him.

"Great we are just going to finish up the interviews and then we will find you guys later" the cameraman said.

We both walked out of the conference heading back up to the surgical wing to get started with work.

"Bella" Jackson softly said grabbing my hand. I spun around to face him.

"Can we talk tonight. Dinner at 8? I'll take you out to a nice restaurant" Jackson asked. I could tell he was feeling hurt by the fight we had. I was too, I loved Jackson.

"I would love to talk. We don't have to go to anything fancy" I said feeling guilty about starting the fight in the first place.

"Dinner 8pm" he said kissing my temple. I smiled and walked towards the elevator while Jackson headed the other way.

As the doors opened I stepped in. The door were about to close when an arm reached out.

"Bella"

"Dad"

"How are you and Dr.Avery doing?" He asked. I sensed he knew we had tension or Meredith must have mentioned something.

"We had a fight" I said

"Are you okay?" He asked in a fatherly way. I looked to him for guidance in every aspect of my life. He truly was my hero and my mentor.

"We had a fight about a kid. He wants one in the near future. I want to wait. I just don't think a child should be raised so absent or busy parents" I said. I looked to sadness in his eyes. He knew my childhood was anything but normal.

"Bella-"

"I loved my childhood don't think anything of it. I just want to raise a child in a more traditional sense. I want to finish my career and then focus on a family" I explained. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll know when the right time is. Don't let him pressure you" he said just as the elevator door opened. He got out leaving me with my thoughts.

He was right. I knew what I wanted and I wasn't going to back down.