Beyblade Burst Adventures

The Most Biggest Dumb

In which we see an alternate universe starring Theodore Glass. But he's very different from how we're used to him being. (These shorts aren't in chronological order.)

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Shu whirled around as a door behind him slid open, revealing a man in a mask and dark coat. "Wha- who are you?! Where am I?!" He snarled, narrowing his eyes threateningly.

"My name is Ashtem, and you're in my top secret training facility, the Snake Pit!" The man declared dramatically, smirking. Then after a pause, he glanced around warily before lifting up his mask so that Shu could see his eyes, whispering, "It's me, Theodore! Don't worry, Shu, you're in good hands."

The red-eyed Blader blinked in surprise. "You run the Snake Pit?"

"Indeed." He beamed proudly.

"I see... Then we must be in Mexico?"

"Uh, I think so." Theodore shrugged. "Anyways, I have a proposition for you, Shu Kurenai..." He stepped farther into the room, standing across from Shu and smirking. "Join my ranks. Become a Masked Blader, and start the journey to becoming a Blader capable of obliterating Free De La Hoya!"

"What do I have to do?" Shu asked seriously, clenching his fists as hot determination ran through his veins.

"Abandon your old self. Abandon meaningless thoughts like friends, family, and love. Only Spryzen and your training must occupy your mind."

"Deal! Anything to beat Free!" Shu snarled again. Theodore chuckled evilly, clicking a button on his mask. Between the two, a hole opened up and a platform began to rise up.

"Good. Then you will don this mask, and become Red Eye."

Shu looked to the platform, and began to blink. Theodore wondered for a moment if he was becoming emotional, if this was really such a powerful moment, but then- "What mask, sir?..."

He looked down at the platform, finding that it was bare. He stared for a moment, then whispered, "Shit, I forgot the mask..."

---

"Hey, mom, who did you name me after again?" Theodore had once asked his mother, since he was writing on the subject for a school paper.

"Theodore Roosevelt." Vanessa Glass replied, taking a moment to look away from her newspaper and smile at her dear, precious son. He hummed thoughtfully, tapping his pen against his chin.

"I think I remember that name... Oh, yeah. The talking chipmunk from those cartoons."

Vanessa slammed her head onto the table and he jumped, staring at her with wide eyes. "Mom? You okay?"

---

"Hey, Gold Eye, are you okay?" Yellow Eye asked, drawing Red Eye's and Ashtem's attention to the demon Blader's tense posture. The elevator they were riding in was kind of cramped, which was the explanation for his answer.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Just claustrophobic, kinda."

"Huh? What's claustrophobic?" Yellow Eye questioned dubiously. Red Eye took a breath to answer, but Ashtem interrupted him.

"It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!"

"What? No, it does not. It means I'm afraid of-"

"HO HO HO!" Yellow Eye roared, baring his teeth threateningly.

"STOP IT, YELLOW, YOU'RE SCARING HIM!" Ashtem shrieked, pulling Gold Eye into a protective hug. He looked like he was going to die of embarrassment and Red Eye looked like he was going to die from second-hand embarrassment.