Someday, I'll Find My Way Home

Axel takes the initiative.

I woke up feeling empty as usual. I stared at the wooden bottom of the upper deck until I felt the need to pee. My throat felt hammered because of all the sweets I gobbled the night before. I contemplated if I was going to work that day. 

A huge part of me protested, and for a lot of reasons. 

1. I checked my phone. 5:15 AM. Considering the horrible traffic at the expressway, which was one of the biggest irony in the Philippines, I might not get to work on time.

2. My throat felt dry and itchy, which was not a good sign. I drank the rest of the water that was left. Didn't help.

3. I wanted to escape the hustle of the Metro at least for a day. After breathing fresh air, I wanted more. I wanted to cleanse my lungs and mind. A change of pace is good for my brain that seemed to be full of air from the airconditioning and smoke from pollution.

4. I want to say hi first to him. And it became something more of a need than want. 

I took a quick bath before changing into my gym outfit. Thank goodness that I left my gym shoes in here because I was too lazy to get them out. I grabbed my keys and phone, plugging my earphones on, and started running outside.

I do not believe in destiny; I believe in making the right and wrong choices. And I'd like to believe that I made the right choice of studying in UPLB over Ateneo. My parents, who were both Ateneans, wants me to pursue a degree of Management at Katipunan. As my first rebellious act, I chose to put both UP Manila and UPLB on my UPCAT form.

Then, the results are out, and I passed in BS Computer Science in UPLB. I told to my parents these exact words: "I don't like lowkey elitists."

"The Atenean community isn't bad," my mom defended. "We were graduates there."

"Yeah but that's your time," I replied, "but look at her." I pointed at my sister. "She could barely speak without using the word like."

"Language isn't always a best indicator of being elitist, Axel."

"But they're so, how do I put it..." I thought about the right word to describe how I see that school. "I don't know, secluded from society?"

My mother heaved a sigh. "Management courses in Ateneo is, if not the very best, one of the best in the country because of its connections and the faculty."

"But that's not I wanna do. I want a change of environment."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Just promise me one thing--" my mom pointed her fingers at me "--you'll go home at least twice a month."

"Yes, yes."

"And please, for the love of God, don't impregnate any girl yet."

I didn't, of course.

I observed the changes around the campus. I saw Ellen's Fried Chicken, which still looked like a urinal at first glance because of its dirty brown walls and thick mud-colored outlines. Bonitos, a fancy-themed restaurant that I couldn't afford when I was an undergraduate, had newly painted orange and white paint on its walls and some signage on its left.

The ES Plaza, which was small before, had expanded. The color of its restaurants were vibrant and cheery, with a mix of neon primary colors and deep hues of red and orange. A new Jollibee was near the UP Gate, which surprised me because we used to get Jollibee at Centtro or at Junction, the intersection of the National Highway to College.

Next to the UP Gate was a new Vega Arcade--most notably a Starbucks!

As I entered the campus, a sense of nostalgia hit me. I could see  myself walking the same steps in Carabao Park in front of the College of Development Communication. It was still the same university as I remembered, except for the new LCD screens.