Someday, I'll Find My Way Home

Karl walks on a tightrope.

Even though I wasn't feeling any better, I didn't want to skip two days of school. Before I went to one of my classes in the morning, Marvin accompanied me to the University Health Service in Forestry to get an medical certificate so my absences would be excused. I was given proper medication and that I didn't need to push myself too hard--I needed to rest today as well.

But here I am, sitting in Ma'am Julianda's class. I borrowed Marvin's thickest jacket because I didn't want to use the Lucky Jacket for obvious reasons. I sat below the aircon so the breeze wouldn't touch me that much.

I focused on the topic and didn't mind my headache. My thoughts shifted from the lesson to I can survive this! I covered my mouth when I coughed, which was always an attention-grabber from my classmates. I would always bow my head when they looked at my direction.

After the class, Ma'am Julianda called my presence.

I stood next to her while she was arranging her laptop and projector cords. "Yes, ma'am?"

"So, what happened to you and your friend?"

I sighed. I thought she was going to ask about the lesson. "Oh, nothing."

"What do you mean?"

"You're still not talking?"

I shook my head. "I don't think he wants to talk to me, though."

"I'm pretty sure that's not the case to your friend."

This time, she carried the projector as we went out of the classroom and walked down the stairs.

"What do you mean, ma'am?"

"I'm referring to Axel, of course. Isn't he the one you're talking about?"

"Well, you got me."

She laughed and pinched my arm lightly. "You two are so cute, I wonder why you're not together."

"Ma'am, we're just friends," I corrected her.

She grinned and squeezed my arm again. "I doubt it."

"Really, ma'am, we're just best friends."

"But why do I feel like you're too affected by this?"

I shifted away from her and coughed, covering my face with my elbow. "Sorry," I excused myself. "Anyway, he's straight. I'm falling in the brink of being asexual or pansexual, or nothing in the gender spectrum at all."

"The only question is: do you like him?"

We went inside the faculty room and turned to the aisle near her cubicle.

"That's out of the question, ma'am. We're not even talking."

"So you do like him?"

"Of course not," I said flatly.

"Oh, what it means to be young and in denial..." she mumbled after we stopped in front of her cubicle. She placed her laptop and projector on her table. "You know, I haven't told you this, but Axel and I were talking during your first year."

"Really? What about?"

"You, of course."

I raised my eyebrow. "What about me?"

"He specifically asked how to make someone to be his best friend too, and I assumed right after that he was talking about you."

I let out a chuckle. "That's... weird."

"So I told him this: best friends aren't made, they are forged. And it seemed like you really are really close friends right now."

"Well, you could say that," I commented. "I... I honestly feel like I was putting on too much than what I could get."