Someday, I'll Find My Way Home

Karl has bad luck.

I knew something wrong would happen when I woke up on the wrong side of my bed. I groaned when my arms tingled from carrying my weight during the night. When I checked my phone, I was ten minutes late from my usual routine, which meant that the line for the bathroom was already long. 

To hurry on my 7AM class, I scrubbed my body faster, wore the shirt on top of my cabinet, and ran for my life to the lecture hall. I arrived five minutes late.

Axel was even worse. He came fifteen minutes late, just in time for our quiz. We didn't review, but we managed to get a passing grade. Thank goodness.

Then, when we were exiting the hall, I tripped on one of the ladder steps. Good thing that I held on one of the seats, or else, it would've been a domino effect. Axel caught my arm as well, and I mouthed, "Thank you."

Then, he and I solved Math problems over breakfast at Beeyanka's. They didn't have tapa. What a shame. I ordered Adobo instead.

Our notes and papers were scattered in the table along with our plates and drinks. He was busy solving problems, I was in my own bubble of memorizing. The Math exam was the least of my worries, for now, since I would be able to review again before the exam with the ample time I have. 

I kept on looking at his face while he was answering the problems that I gave him. Today, he wore a plain white tee with skinny jeans and his dirty white sneakers. Even with the simplest clothes, he managed to stand out. I didn't know why. 

"You free tonight?" he asked without looking at me. 

"Why?"

"Come by my apartment."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why?"

"Just come."

"Why?"

"Can you stop asking why?"

"Nope. Why?"

"I want to review again for NASC1 and SOSC1."

"You really need to practice doing that by yourself," I commented. I held my notes to my eye level and focused on that instead.

"Next time, but not today."

"No. Plus, where would I sleep?"

"Next to me!"

My ears turned bright red, and I suddenly dropped my notebook to the empty plates. I cursed as I saw the Adobo sauce drip on the header of my notebook. I tried to salvage it, but alas, the brown color of Adobo spread on a few pages.

"Well, that just means we need to find a new place with no food to study," Karl said. "Is there something wrong?"

"N-Nothing." I wiped the remaining bits of Adobo on my notebook and laid them flat on the table.

"So, later after exam?"

 I didn't want to tell him the truth that it was my first time sleeping over someone else's house--or apartment, for that matter. My parents, especially my father, was the strictest when it came to that. They allowed to stay as late as 10PM when the excuse was valid (e.g. going to SM with friends, doing school projects, organizing school activities), but never to the point that he would allow me to sleep on my friend's home.

I provided my own answers to their reasoning. Because they were conservatives, they didn't want me to have sex at a young age. And I completely understand that.

But I was in college, away from my parents. I didn't need their permission to do things since I didn't have their supervision. I was alone here, all by myself to make my own decisions. So what was stopping me from a simple sleep over?

I sighed. I was afraid of the real answer, so I gave in.

"Fine. I'll drop by my dorm later to get fresh clothes."

His face brightened up upon hearing my response. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Alright, I'll order a bucket of chicken for us."

"Uh..."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Maybe some cheaper foods? I couldn't afford those."

"It's my treat." He winked at me, and I swore to myself to never let myself off guard again. "This is our celebration for surviving our first hardest exam in UP."

"I thought we're reviewing?"

"And that, too."

-

The bad luck streak continued until the exam.

"I think I'm gonna fail," I said to Marvin, who was my seatmate, after  we passed our bluebooks to our instructor. It was a 50/50 chance for me to pass or fail. 

Most of the time, that was the truth of what I genuinely feel (but my high school classmates would eventually frown and shout, "You're the top 1!"). And they're right--I would always end up the top scorer. 

But this was different. The test was made for us to suffer. I reviewed hard for this exam, but it wasn't enough. I spent most of my free time to answer problems that they had recommended, but somehow none seemed familiar to any of it.

I packed my bags and walked beside Marvin outside the lecture hall.

"Yeah, me too," Marvin replied to me, his face looked sunken. "I shouldn't have watched anime last night."

"I should've reviewed more."

We both sighed at the same time.

As we went out the hall, I heard someone screaming my name.

"Hey! Karl!" Axel was waving his hands in the middle of the crowd.

I covered my face and immediately went to Axel's position. Marvin followed suit as he also saw Candace behind Axel, waiting patiently while texting on her phone.

Axel immediately wrapped his right arm on my shoulder.

"Well, that was easy," Axel announced. "Finally my mind could rest with no math!"

"I agree," Candace said, while still texting on her phone. "It was a bit easier than our exercises."

"How could you both say that?" Marvin complained. "I answered all items but I wasn't sure of anything."

"Well, same." Axel nodded with his eyes closed. "But there's no sense of grieving for what already happened! It won't change anything." 

As I was watching them talk while walking, I was frozen. My feet could walk, but my brain was fried and dried at the same time. Then, there was his hand bringing nothing but warmth to my sunken soul after that horrifying exam. 

I snapped to reality when Candace said, "How 'bout you, Karl? How's the exam?"

I pushed Axel's hand away, and he just gave me a stare. "I didn't know if I answered the questions correctly, so I might fail."

"That's impossible!" Axel said. He threw his hands on my shoulders again. "You taught me. I wouldn't survive this exam without you."

Marvin agreed. "You got all answers correctly when we were reviewing together."

"So have a little faith, okay?" Axel brushed his fingers on my hair, then gave me one of his smiles when I couldn't see his eyes, and I always thought of all the good things that I had done to deserve that. 

Maybe a little confidence wouldn't hurt, especially if it came from him.