Someday, I'll Find My Way Home

Afterword

Hey, Roy here. Thanks for going this far to the story. I'll tell you a story about Karl and Axel.

Karl and Axel will always be the antithesis of Macky and Ethan, two of my most favorite characters of all time that I wrote (Moonlight Punch Romance). They sprung from a simple what if on their story—what if they never confessed to each other? What if they just stayed as best friends, one is completely oblivious on his feelings and the other is madly in love? What would happen between them if that was the case?

I wrote this story as an escape in this time of pandemic. I was stuck in Los Baños when the quarantine started. Being the stubborn kid who loved his independence far too much, I stayed in my apartment alone—a much needed solitude and quiet time I deserved after the busy years I had.

This was the time I rekindled my love to the written word. I wrote Karl and Axel way back in 2018, and they never left my mind ever since. Then, after they bombarded my mind with a lot of what-ifs, I finally sat down to create their story without an outline. I just knew that this was a personal journey for my characters.

This is the story I believe that the journey is much important than the ending itself.

Someday, I'll Find My Way Home is inspired by the same title from Carole and Tuesday (which, you should definitely watch). This track is one of my favorites from the show. I decided to use this title because of how much I listened to this song while I thought about how I wanted Karl and Axel's journey to go through.

What I got from the song made the overall concept of the story—it's a journey of being lost and eventually found.

Before it became a romance story, it was a self-discovery phase for Karl and Axel. This was their story on finding out their true selves and accepting who they are. For Karl, it was more of finding real friends and realizing he is attracted to the same sex. For Axel, it was the aftermath of a broken friendship and navigating his way through it, searching for the meaning why it hurt so much.

I had mixed thoughts about the ending, but in the end I gave them the ending they deserved. I am always a sucker for happy endings. Queer people don't normally get theirs in the real world. I wanted them to be happy in their own space.

And it's one of my main problems with Filipino-written LGBT stories here on Wattpad. I didn't want this story in particular to be rooted with sex between Karl and Axel. I purposely didn't write a story with no sex scenes because for once, I want to read gay characters getting together and being in love without the underlying sex motive. I want them to be happy and in love, just like how straight people are being portrayed normally.

I haven't seen that much Filipino LGBT stories that actually builds romance and character without the sexual pretense. I definitely recommend superjelly's Bahaghari, zyronzester's Reaching Through, and nyankokun's The Umbrella of Us. If you do know great Filipino LGBT stories, please recommend me some in the comments down below. I would love to read more of those.

This is just the start for me. I'll devote myself on writing more stories about queer people finding love first before they start doing (iykwim) each other. I want to write more stories about the problems of gay people finding love (I have that novel planned, too! But not now, since I want to write more love stories without sex). And, the most important of them all--I want to write more self-discovery stories for the young ones who are still closeted or still confused about their sexuality.

Okay, continuing to Karl and Axel...

I love these characters so much because they embodied the experiences on what I had in the past and in the present. It's the kind of story where I empathized deeply with the characters. I got emotional when Karl kept believing that he was the fifth wheel. I was also scared of growing up, much like Axel's fear. I knew what it's like to fall in love with a friend, and I knew firsthand on what it felt to lose a great friend.

Plus, most of the story happened in UPLB—the place I consider home up until today. It wasn't another setting. Elbi has become a character of itself. I wrote this piece out of longing to this place (even though I'm here but I can't get out). It's a safe place for queer people to be themselves--that's why I used UPLB as a setting because it's integral for their self-expression.

I poured all my heart and soul on this novel, something that doesn't happen too often. This is the time that I was comfortable making my own art and committed on finishing it, no matter what.

All I thought while writing this was, Karl and Axel deserved their story. It's time to give them what they want.

Will there be a book 2? I don't know as of now. I already told their story, but I was still hung up on their voices. I didn't want to create another conflict in their life, but I don't want to write a story that's all them being happy and gay. But one thing's for sure—I'll write short stories on different scenes that transpired between the events in the novel

If you have reached this far... I couldn't be more thankful. I don't have a big audience to showcase my art. I'm happy for a couple of readers who read this book because it means so much for me. Please let me know what you think in the comments and I'm happy to answer any of your questions about the story.

I hope you guys learned a thing or two in this novel. I really do. I hope you support the LGBTQ+ movement, and learn how to love and accept anyone regardless of their gender and sexual orientation. 

Thank you for reading this book!

Roy

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Date started: April 7, 2020
First draft finished: June 3, 2020