Someday, I'll Find My Way Home

Karl is at a crossroads.

The past months before our graduation was eventful (so to speak), and I felt that I did my best to enjoy it as much as I could with my friends. Sure, there were a lot of times I missed road trips with the five of us since I prioritized finishing my SP on time (I blame it on my past self for choosing such a hard topic that could even be qualified as thesis). But there were also a lot of times that I forged new friendships, hang out with the four of them a lot of times, and made the most out of my last year in college.

(Yes, last year--I'm claiming that I would finish on time!)

A lot of things happened. My tutee, Bullet, confessed on me at the end of the semester... which was the weirdest thing because we maintained a professional student-teacher relationship. He finished his last Math subject with a flat 1.00. Shocked was not the word enough to describe what I felt--it was a massive earthquake that I didn't expect from him.

I turned him down politely, then I told him about Axel without revealing his name to him. I explained to him that I was in love with someone else and I wanted him to move on, like I was doing miserably.

The next semester, he didn't show up in any of my classes.

I admit--I was a little crestfallen when he didn't appear on the doorstep. I was expecting him to come. He was one of the very best students I had mentored.

That didn't last long as I was determined to only be happy and contented in my last semester.

I did significant progress on my bucketlist.

Last semester, I went to the final exam of one of my hated major subjects because I was completely sure that I didn't like studying about it. I barely passed the exam, and I received my first 2.00 grade. I was crestfallen (of course), but in the end of the day I was relieved that I won't have to retake that class again.

The five of us went to Baker Hall and swam. Axel's body was an eye-candy, and Paula kept on pushing me to him. I didn't know how to swim properly and he taught me the basics. 

And oddly enough, the best coffee in UPLB for me was City Blends in 7-11. It's cheap and basic, just like me. It went with me in the sleepless nights while I was researching and developing my Special Problem.

But time was running out. I had months left until graduation before confessing to Axel.

Was I scared? Definitely.

He was getting cuter and cuter everyday. I wanted to throw my arms on his waist and kiss him hard. 

I restrained myself. I had to distance from him instead.

Which was a good thing since he was also busy on his org works.

They invited me to be their resource speaker in two of their student tutorials. The set-up was simple--their org would prepare all materials, even the Powerpoint Presentation, and all I had to do was to discuss these in front of a crowd.

The first Student Tutorials was a mess. My voice failed on the microphone so I resorted on not using it throughout the event. Thank goodness that I was heard up to the last row, and the students kept their silence to hear me.

Sir Gabe and my other professors watched the tutorials, which added to my pressure. Sure, I was friends with them, but this is their battlefield I was playing at.

The second one was a little better, since I warmed up to it. I knew the things I needed to improve upon from the last and I applied it here. I learned how to be comfortable with my own speaking voice in the microphone.

After the two events, a lot of students (I assume they were freshmen) were looking at me in the hallways. Some even waved at me. I could only wave them back and blush whenever it happened.