Someday, I'll Find My Way Home

Karl is a great pretender.

I woke up when a leg hit me hard on the stomach. I groaned and hid my face on his pillow when the sunlight reached my eyes. I pushed the leg away and tried to sleep again.

I heard a groan. The bed sprung, and Axel grunted a loud "Huh?"

"Shut up."

"W-What happened?"

"You got drunk. I helped you get home. I slept here," I said, keeping my voice flat and monotonous.

"Shit, I'm sorry." He shook my body so I could face him. "Did I do something stupid last night?"

Other than kissing me, I said, "None."

"Really?" I squinted my eyes just to look at his beaming face. "Are we friends again?"

I turned my back to him. "Whatever."

"C'mon, talk to me. I'm sorry." He shook my body again. "We hugged and all. I miss having breakfasts with you."

I didn't budge.

"Please? I'll make it up to you."

He already did. When did I become so weak around him?

"How?"

"I'll treat you breakfasts for the whole semester."

"And?"

He laughed. "I promise to be a better person?"

"You better." I slammed my fist on his chest before standing up. "I need to go if I want to catch my class on time."

He scratched the back of his head. "Are you sure I didn't say or do anything weird last night?"

"Nope." I grinned while I stretched my arms. "Why? Is there something I shouldn't know?"

"No, it's just... I do stupid things when I'm drunk."

I gave him a mocking laugh. "Yeah. You are. You crawled your way up here."

His eyes widened. "I-I did?"

"You definitely did."

He threw a pillow straight to my face. "Fuck you!"

I shot my middle finger at him.

We both laughed and we shared a unspoken gaze at each other. That we were alright. That our relationship as best friends had never changed. That we could go back to normal again.

But there was never going back to normal. I was tarnished. My heart had a small hole during out fight that became bigger and bigger. A kiss couldn't fix that. It wouldn't suffice. It was a band-aid solution to a broken heart who never lets go of hope, however painful it could be.

I didn't know what I would do if this feeling persists.

I want him. But he doesn't want me the way I do.

What if he do, and he was just too proud to admit the truth? What would I do if that was the case? 

I could only wonder about the possibilities that would never happen. But hey, it's free to dream, right?